"What a tangled mess you have here. Tell me miss, when was the last time you ever combed this forest looking thing..."
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Bad boy, Travis Scott, is as bad as can be. He's hot, so hot, the sun can...
They say the people who exhibit the most kindness have experienced a lot of pain. The ones who act like they don't need love are the ones that need it more. The ones who takes care of everyone's need are definitely the ones in need. The people who smile a lot may be the ones who cry when no one is around. The ones who act tough and carefree like they have no heart are good in concealing the pain they feel on the inside. __________________~__________________
Smiling sadly, I flipped through the page. I sat in my room, diary in hand, Headphones on my head. The song 'kills you slowly' by the chainsmokers, filtered through my ears.
You're surprised? Of course I keep a diary!
After showing Kira to her room, I went back to the sitting room to turn off the television and then head to my room. With nothing more to do, I decided to flip through my sad pathetic diary, what I do almost every night.
Then I came across a page.
*4/2/2006*
Aiden started having late night seizures and difficulty in breathing. We all assumed it was asthma.
I know I'm not supposed to be reading this, but I just can't bring myself to. This page bring back painful memories I really have to let go, at least for my mental health. But for some certain reasons, I chose to go over it again.
*5/2/2006*
Dad got him an inhaler.
*10/2/2006*
It persists. Even became worse. I really don't know what's wrong with my kid bro. The once vibrant and perky Aiden suddenly became dull. He rarely leaves his bed.
One time, I saw him cough up blood.
*11/2/2006*
He was taken for a medical test.
*13/2/2006* Aiden was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma.
It was still fresh in my memory. The look on my parent's face after the news, The confusion on I and Vivien's face. I was just six then and vivien, eight, so the word 'Hodgkin's lymphoma' rang no bell in our head back then.
Not until recently that I found out it was actually cancer. You can imagine how broken I felt. A single tear ran down my cheek but I never bothered to wipe it away.
It happened a long time ago and I'm supposed to have gotten over it, but somehow, I can't forget about Aiden, ever!
I flipped over the page to another that has his picture stapled to it.
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Gingerly picking it up, I looked at it, tears flowing down my face at an alarming rate. I miss those eyes, those naughty hands that usually wrap around my neck each time we play. But it's all in the past now. Like a sad memory.
I could remember the last time I ever saw him in the hospital...
{Flashback}
"Hey bro, how are you doing?" I asked, gently closing the door behind me. Aiden had an IV strapped to his hand. He turned slightly to look at me.
"Vis," He exclaimed in his usual high pitched voice, his face full of happiness. "You're back from school? Did you see mum, dad and vee, they just left."
I nodded. "Yeah, I did. I brought your favorite cookies." I unzipped my bag to take out the pack of cookies I usually bring for him each time I visits. His face lit up more and he smiled.
"Thanks Vis."
I inched closer to sit on his bed. "It's alright. How are you feeling now?"
He shrugged. "I'm fine. I don't know why everyone keep worrying about me. Vis, when am I going to leave this place, I'm tired of staying here."
"Don't worry, you'll leave here very soon." I assured, stroking his dark hair.
"So we'll get to play hide and seek again?" He asked and I nodded. "And race together?"
"Yes, once you get better, we can do all that."
He smiled. "Then I'll get to beat you."
I rolled my eyes. "You know I always beat you in every game."
"Yeah, I know. But I'll soon beat you in one." He stuck out his tongue in a playful way.
I smiled. "Ok then, it's on a bet. Get better, then we'll see who's the grandmaster in race wars."
Little did I know that would be the last time I'll ever see Aiden again. He died a week later.
You can imagine the Intense pain I felt deep inside of me. He left a huge gap in my heart no one else could fill.
I cried my eyes out till the point I couldn't cry anymore. His death affected me to the point I was asked by my parents to see a therapist, but I refused.
At age thirteen, I decided to give the therapy medication a try. After school, I went for therapy twice a week and not once did it get easier, if not It only made matters worst.
I underestimated how hard the first session was going to be. Having to bring up your past with every little bit of details, remembering what you saw, remembering how you felt, what you try to do to your self. It was haunting.
My eyes was damp the whole time. Every moments was painful to remember but my therapist, Miss Joan, told me it was good to let those emotions out. She told me that those feelings will never go away if I don't share it with anyone.
I opened up to her but I kept the diary and self harming description to myself, I was scared that she was going to tell my parents if she hears about it.
The second session wasn't any easier. This time, she dug deep into my mind. She knew for sure that I was withholding some details, but She wasn't able to get it all out.
I cried till the extent I ran out of tears and my eyes were bone dry.
Miss Joan kept telling me that therapy wasn't meant to be easy. "You don't have a few sessions and all of a sudden you're fixed, it doesn't work that way. If you don't let it out now, it's going to affect you seriously in the future. I bet Aiden won't be happy to see his elder brother in the psychiatric hospital" She kept telling me each time I result to tears.
God. It wasn't easy.
Right now, I wanted to hurt my self so badly. Like cut my skin through with a blade so I could feel the pain more. I wanted to punch the walls till my knuckles bleed out but somehow I couldn't. Kira's room wasn't far away, so I bet she's going to hear the noise.
Sighing, I left my room and headed to the bar. Getting to the bar, I took a bottle of whiskey and poured myself a glass.
I'll get drunk then.
********************************* Hey famz, here's the part two. I just thought I let you guys see a little of what goes on in Travis's life. Depression. I know this chapter is kinda touching, I was just writing and I didn't even realize when a tear slid down my face. I felt for Travis. I know it's just a character in a story. but I'm the author, com on, I made the characters and one way or the other, I try imagining myself in their shoes when writing a particular chapter, and right now, I feel sad....
So tell me, how do you feel? Don't forget to vote✨
