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I practically ran from Fred probably leaving him so confused which was awful of me but my mind felt like it was about to burst I just I needed to forget all about this. "Miss Malfoy, please refrain from running in the corridors this is a school not a playground." Professor McGonagall stops my fast pace, "right sorry miss." She shakes her head and sends me a concerned look, "is everything alright Miss Malfoy." I nod she doesn't look convinced but she lets me go after asking me not to run and reminding me that her office was always open.
I actually had no clue what to do now my mind was racing faster than I could comprehend a single thought but it was just a kiss it shouldn't be such a big deal, I was totally over reacting right? But that kiss it wasn't like any kiss I'd ever had before and I craved more I just wanted to be around him but I couldn't do that. There was a reason I had been fighting my feelings I couldn't just give in now, it would be better, it would be safer for everyone especially Fred if I didn't.
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"What's wrong with you?" I'd been pacing around the common room waiting for Daphne because I seriously needed to get some stuff of my mind, "nothing Morgan, do you know where Daphne is?" I ask making her nod. "She was by the library last I saw her." I nod and make my way to the door, "thanks."
I make my way to the library although Daphne's not there, when I get out I sigh before someone bumps into me, "sorry." It was Adrian he had grabbed onto me to steady himself, "no problem." I say not really focusing on him. "Are you ok?" He asks. I look up at him and smile slightly as I nod, "yeah I'm fine, I was just looking for Daphne." He nods, "what me to help you look?" I shrug, "sure." Neither of us make a move and I suddenly become aware of his hands which were still on me. "You're gonna have to let go of me." He looks down and notices shaking his head with a small laugh, "oh sorry, I didn't even realise."
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"What happened to we can't do this anymore?" Adrian asks me as we're pushed up together in the nearest broom closet that we could find. "Shut up." I say pulling him closer to me by his tie and connecting our lips. I needed to forget about that kiss with Fred. It had to be gone from my system. Kissing Adrian didn't help me the way that I thought it would instead it made me feel worse. It felt wrong, it just made me all the more aware of the effect Fred had on me and how he was the only person I wanted to be kissing. He was the only person I should be kissing.
"Wait stop." I say pulling away, "what's wrong?" I shake my head, "I can't- this isn't right, it was a mistake." I breath out regretting this decision terribly. I felt sick to my stomach oh merlin what had I been thinking. "It's ok Lyra, calm down, it's not a big deal we can stop." He tries to assure me looking worried. "I'm sorry." I say feeling my eyes sting as I realise how stupid I had been. "It's ok, no harm done, are you ok?" He asks wiping my eyes as I nod. "Let's get you back to the common room, you can go and take a nap or something." He suggests handing me my jumper.
"I'm sorry." I repeat, "shh it's ok, let's get you to Daphne." I shake my head realising how disappointed she was going to be in me. "No!" He looks startled, "no Adrian I can't go to Daphne, not right now." He nods, "ok what do you want me to do?" I take a breath to rationalise, "nothing, I'm fine I just need to be left alone." He looks unsure, "please?" He sighs and nods reaching for the handle, "wait! Adrian, don't tell anyone about this...please?" He nods, "I swear, just feel better." He says kissing my forehead before leaving me in the broom closet alone so that I could collect my thoughts.
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It'd been just under a week and this was our second to last DA meeting before Christmas break. I hadn't told Daphne about what had happened with Adrian, I just wished it hadn't happened and I wished the no one, especially Fred would find out. "Why have you been avoiding me?" I can't meet Fred gaze as he leans down to whisper to me, "I haven't." I spare him a glance to see the hard look he was giving me and before either of us can say anything Harry speaks again.
I avoid Fred throughout the session, "what's that?" George asks as Harry says goodbye to everyone and reminds them on how next weeks session would be our last until after the holidays. "What's what?" I ask confused as I finish tying my hair up, "on your neck." George says moving closer. I let my hair drop back down to cover my neck, "nothing I think it's..." I don't even know what to make up as I see the smirk George is sending my way as he's realised what it is. "Oi well done Freddie you didn't tell me that-"
"George no!" I whisper grabbing his arm urgently startling him into not finishing his sentence, his smirk drops as he sees the look on my face. But it's too late Fred had seen the whole thing, as had Daphne both giving me similar looks of shock and disappointment I look away at seeing the hurt all over Fred's face.
Everyone else leaves quickly, "Fred." I say my voice unstable not knowing what I could say to make him hurt less. He turns away from me George quick to go over to him. Whilst they whisper about something Daphne comes over to me, "what were you thinking?" She hisses taking a good look at my neck, "I-" she looks back at me, "you promised you'd come to me, and that you'd stay away from him."
"I'm sorry Daphne, I was looking for you and it was a mistake, I know it was, I told him that, it was just once I swear." I tell her as she shakes her head, and then makes her way to the door, "I'll um leave you two to talk." George says following after her.
Fred doesn't look at me and I have to try and not cry, I was the one who hurt him not the other way. "Fred...I'm sorry." I say not knowing what else there was to say. "Why? If you didn't want to be with me you could've just told me." I shake my head, "it wasn't that." I say, "Why did you kiss me? I didn't ask you to, you kissed me, I thought you liked me." He says confused, "I thought we-"
"I thought we had something." He says his voice lowering, "I did like you Fred, I do like you." He shakes his head at me, "if you liked me why would you sneak around with another boy after kissing me?" He asks, "I'm sorry it was a mistake, you're the only-"
"I was worried about you! I worried all week I thought I'd scared you, pressured you when you weren't ready, I thought that I had ruined things between us but you just wanted someone else? I was so stupid to think you'd actually like me, I mean why would you I'm not even half as-" I shake my head furiously as I step closer to him and grab at his arm desperately, "I don't want anyone else. I was scared, I was scared of my feelings for you." He shakes his head, "I swear you're the only boy I want." He shakes my arm off, and I feel so bad seeing the tears in his eyes as he struggles to say what's on his mind.
"I'm sorry Fred, I'm so sorry I made a mistake." He looks at me regretfully and nods, "yeah you did." He leaves me in silence, I watch him leave in pain, it hurt I had hurt him, I never wanted to do that ever. And I'd ruined everything between us, but maybe it was better this way I had wanted him distanced away from me for his safety and I guess this would ensure that. He'd never come anywhere near me again.
