Manuscript Critique: a Comprehensive Guide

[91] (R) CRITIQUE: 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖗 𝕭𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖉 (Contemporary Romance)

𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖗 𝕭𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖉 by Again_if_only (Again_if_only)

Thank you for requesting a review. I've read your first few chapters and will give you a critique. In this case, there is no inline edit or proofread because this was a review request.

Wow, the first chapter came out swinging HARD. I was taken aback by how unique it was. The MC was cynical with a capital C so it was still a mystery to me how I immediately took a liking to her. She was rude, wow, but it was done well. I didn't mind the rudeness and after a time, I grew to crave it. I liked how she picked each and every person apart in her mind, saving that ammo for when it was necessary.

It showed a woman who's been damaged and wanted more but was too afraid to grab it. VERY complex and very beautiful.

So why didn't I make it past chapter 1?

It wasn't the writing. The writing was good, the grammar was good, the punctuation was good, the nuance... good. All good. Even the reference about not wanting the grapes, ouch, that one hit home.

Then what was it? I'll be blunt. It started off unique, flying high, wind at its back. Then it slammed into the cliche tree, took a free fall and hit EVERY branch on the way down. Even the 'deep blue eyes' limb. I couldn't believe it.

I will say that this is not my usual genre and I do think that things I consider cliche are actually sorta... fixed or ingrained in this genre. To a point, they are sort of expected. But I've read about 200 first chapters by now. Never mind the ones found in this Critiquing book because I'd started LONG before this book came along. And I must say without a doubt I feel like I will, personally, NEVER write another blue-eyed character again. The MC gushing about those 'sapphire' eyes is a thing I've seen over and over. Beyond that, I didn't think there needed to be any mention of 'him,' not too often. One instance would be enough. Maybe two, but then it was repeated back-to-back and it began to stand out. I won't say that I won't try your chapter at a later date, and I won't say that it's poorly written because it certainly isn't bad writing.

The first chapter does EVERYTHING it's supposed to do and the MC was mean but SO likeable. I was just fearful that I'd go in expecting something new and different only to find that the pretty package contained something I'd seen a hundred times before when it was all said and done.

But again, with how many of these I've read, I do believe that Romance readers WANT this formula or enjoy it to a great degree. Good writing, good prose, good MC. Thanks for a smooth read.

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