Hopes

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Chaeyoung peacefully caressed the cat, her chin slightly rubbing Lily's head and everything was on its place. Again.

She was startled as a warm hand sneaked on her shoulder and when Chaeyoung looked up she saw her favorite grin and eyes she could drown in.


Jennie's fingers rubbed her cheek and Chae unconsciously snuggled closer to the contact, causing a light giggle to escape from brunette's mouth.


Chae tugged slightly Jennie's hand with her own and the brunette raised her eyebrow confused.

Chae smiled and patted her knees slightly, trying not to wake the cat.


«I'm heavy. » Jennie mouthed and Chae rolled her eyes at Jennie, causing the latter to smile.




"You are perfect."


Chaeyoung stubbornly tugged again and Jennie complied, still being soft from the blonde's sincere whisper.



Jennie sat on Chae's lap and she thanked lord that she did remember to take her anti-allergy pill. Chaeyoung even consulted her mom on which medication would be better.


After that they both found a comfortable position, Jennie's head naturally leaned on Chae's shoulder and her nose slightly touched the blonde's neck, tickling her skin.

Jennie felt Chaeyoung hand on her waist holding her tighter, and the safety she had experienced in Chaeyoung's hands she wanted to remember for good.

Or better.

She wanted to experience it every single day of her life.



Suddenly the cat in the blonde's arm woke up and after a long stretch which was awkward as the cat still was on Chae's chest, Lily jumped lower landing on Jennie's lap instead and nestling there comfortably.

Chae and Jen shared quick giggle, and as the cat was asleep again Jennie felt soft lips pressed against her cheek. With that, they both finally dozed off.


***

The next morning all the girls were preparing breakfast, and as Joy was occupied with pancakes and Jisoo with salads, Jennie prepared the table and Chae the beverages for all of them.

Jennie watched the blonde sipping her juice and she finished her own coffee quickly. They had a few more minutes and today she wanted to share something with Chaeyoung. Something really personal as she thought.

"Come here." She stood up and beckoned the blonde who only confusedly looked at her and quizzically stared.

"I wanna take you somewhere." Jennie held out her hand and Chaeyoung took it in her own in an instant.

They sneaked away and Jennie led them upstairs. Attic. She breathed in while turning the door knob and Chae sensed her hesitation.

Eventually, Jennie opened the door and they came in, the room was just as empty as it was the last time.

It did seem lighter though. Jennie turned around and met the warm brown eyes looking only at her.


"Few days ago I found a few boxes here. They were...memories, I suppose. Photos, diaries, stuff like that."

Jennie sighed and continued.

"Everything I had with Lisa. I freaked out the first time, ran away and didn't see all of them. But when I came back yesterday there was none of them in here."

Chaeyoung attentively listened and squeezed her hand, but Jennie let go and slowly paced forward, her hand on the wall, tracing it.

"Maybe it's better. Maybe it won't hurt as much later." She whispered.

Her gaze observed the whole room but suddenly she caught a glimpse of something grayish. She came closer, there was lying a small card, the surface almost invisible in the dark. Jennie breath hitched. She almost touched it but,

She came to her senses. Everything she found so far was that caused her pain.

She didn't want to feel it again.


She really decided to leave it like that'. To get out of this room and not return ever again. She would certainly do so if she didn't have this stupid hope that was torturing her imagination.

If only she didn't have it. But she had. Everyone has it. But her...she had it tenfold.

She leaned down and took the card, her eyes needed a few seconds to adapt and be able to read in the dark, she didn't want to move, scared that it might disappear.

"Everything you need to remember."

And there, on the other side was a Polaroid photo of them. Smiling, laughing, hoping.

Young and beautiful.

With Lisa's hand on Jennie's shoulders, with Jennie smiling at her and Lisa returning the gaze lovingly.


A tear fell down Jennie's cheek and she smiled, feeling relieved. Really, really relaxed.



Yeah, she thought, I will remember it.





~~~

Again, just the way it happened to Jisoo, Jennie felt that she is ready,

She let it go.

But this time, she had also let go of the thing that was staying on her way to being happy.

She let go of her hope as well. Because...


Where is the end of hope, there is a beginning of peace.



****************

"They say that hope dies last. I'd kill it first." Mikhail Litvak.

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