Hey guys!
It's been yearsssss, hope everyone is safe and doing well during the pandemic. I rarely come on here but I have seen some comments from quite a few people regarding the races of my characters in this book.
First of all, I'd like to say I had no intention of making anyone feel uncomfortable etc. I started writing this book on Microsoft word when I was 12/13, a long long time ago.
During these times, I certainly was not educated on colourism or the implications of it, what I wrote in my book is a reflection of my life at that time. My two best friends at that time were white with hazel eyes and curly hair, and mixed race with curly hair, and they got a lot of attention from boys of all races whereas at that time I did not so I made the main characters light skin, girls would swoon over light skin boys and mixed race boys, especially with green or hazel eyes etc. So that's what I wrote about, even though the story is creative writing, I still used real life experiences and writing was an escape for me.
A lot of what I wrote probably did come from a place of internalised colourism/hate as well, as I am not by any means lightskin or mixed race. Reading the book in 2020/2021 even (and I really appreciate those who do❤️) I can understand how a lot of descriptions etc comes across, but it was written in a complete different time. For example, anyone who's old enough to remember twitter in 2012 and those times will understand where I'm coming from.
I didn't purposely make the 'bad' characters dark skin or anything, but by the time I was old enough to educate myself and start trying to rewrite chapters etc., it was too late for me to change all these lightskin main characters and the descriptions I used, and I would've had to just delete the book altogether. Me emphasising a character was 'blaaaack' which I think I saw in a comment, was not done in a negative way at all, if it was in 2020 I probably would have used the words 'dark skin'.
As a 22 year old woman who loves her melanin, and now understands colourism and the implications of it, all I can do is apologise to those who are offended today but hope you understand it was written a long time ago in a different age, and I'm sure over recent years we've all been educated in some way on the importance of colourism in the black community, as I certainly have. I myself have reread chapters and cringe a lottttt at what I wrote and I would love to go back and rewrite all chapters and change things but I am not 12-15 years old anymore and I am not in that same place I was before. I hope it doesn't undermine your enjoyment of the story.
Thank you to everyone who still likes comments and reads it to this day, I can't believe how many views it's gotten❤️
since a lot of you have already asked, if I were to do a sequel (I'm not making any promises yet), what would you guys like to see? any and all ideas welcome!
please stay safe and have a blessed year x
