forever and always || c.h.

63

  The few weeks with Calum and the boys have gone by. Their flight was in two days so Calum had started packing all of his stuff. I was sitting on our bed, watching him while he went back and forth from the closet to his suit case which was next to me.

  I didn't want him to go, I realized that with every day that passed. But he needed to go and I knew that and respected that this was his dream and he had to do it. I never tried to convince him to stay, even though I wish I could. But I knew it wasn't fair of me to do, I had to be supportive and I was going to be throughout this whole thing. Even if I didn't want him to go.

"I'll be back before you know it." He said as he caught the solemn look on my face as I watched him fold his clothes into his suitcase.

"You say that every day." I said softly.

"And I mean it. I'm sure it'll go by quickly, you won't even know I'm gone." He said and I just shook my head at his completely unreasonable statement.

"You're gonna be gone for 6 months, it's gonna be hard to not notice you're gone and that I'm gonna have to sleep alone every night." I said and started picking at my already peeled nail polish.

"You can visit during Christmas break or before school starts again." He said and went back to our closet to take more of his clothes and leave it way emptier than it's ever been.

"Yea." I mumbled and shrugged my shoulders. I was trying so hard not to be miserable, mostly because this was actually really good for him. I was happy for him and I was so unbelievably proud of him too, but the thought of having to miss him and having him gone for so long was just over powering all of those positive emotions.

"Don't be sad babe." He said and placed a kiss on my temple.

  I don't even understand how he's not worried about the fact that he's gonna be gone for so long. I mean obviously he's living his dream and he's going to be happy, but I feel like I'm the only one that'll be missing something while he's gone.

"I'm trying. I'm happy for you, I am I promise. I'm just really going to miss you." I said softly and looked down at my hands which were in my lap.

"I know, I'm gonna miss you too." He said and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and brought me closer to him.

"You better come home to me." I said with my head against his chest. My voice cracked and my eyes squeezed shut, so far I haven't cried but obviously that wasn't going to be preventable much longer.

"Why wouldn't I come home?" He asked and looked down at me but I just pulled him closer to me and closed my eyes.

"I don't know. I just need you to come home and love me the same way you did when you were here." I said and felt the tears escape my eyes and my grip around his torso tightened.

"Madelyn, you're the love of my life. I'm gonna love you like this for my entire life, and I'm going to come home and love you just the same as I left. I don't know how this whole thing is going to pan out, but I know that no matter how many times I have to go or how long I'm gone for, I'm always going to come home to you and I'm always going to love you." He said and held me tighter than he ever has before, making me cry even more. I was probably getting my period, I blame that on why I'm so emotional.

"I love you." I mumbled and felt him stroke my hair and rub my back.

"I love you more." He said and kissed the top of my head. A couple seconds later he let go of me and tore my arms away from him which confused me a lot. But then I saw him take his suitcase off the bed before he scooped me up and laid me down and then laid down next to me.