Loki Laufeyson x Reader - Dear Diary

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Y/N's P.O.V.

"Where is it?" I asked in frustration, throwing the cushions off of the couch in frustration.
"Oh my God-"

"What are you looking for, Girlie?" Tony asked.

"My book. Small, black leather cover, have you seen it?" I asked, looking at him hopefully.

"Who hasn't seen it? You're constantly writing in that thing." Tony muttered and an glared at him.
"No, not since you had it last night before dinner. Have you checked your room?"

"Obviously. That was the first place I looked." I shook my head.
"I don't know where I left it! I can't lose it-"

"Hey, calm down." Tony came forward and put his hands on my shoulders.
"We'll find it, okay? Just breathe." I nodded my head.
"Retrace your steps. Where have you been since you last saw it?"

"My room, the kitchen, in here, the library, the gym..." I listed off all of the places and Tony nodded.
"I've already checked my room, the kitchen and in here. I was headed up to the library next."

"I'll recheck the rooms you've already done. Go to the library and then the gym." He spoke calmly.
"God knows what's in that thing that's so important, but I know it means a lot to you." I nodded my head.

"Thank you." I moved towards the elevator and I had barely managed to get to the couch in the library, when JARVIS informed me that Tony wanted to see me. Racing back towards the living room, I found Tony holding up the book with a smirk on his face.

"It was on your bed." He handed me the book and I let out a sigh of relief, holding it to my chest.

"You didn't open it, did you?" I asked, worried. Movement in my peripheral vision caused me to turn my head to see Loki sat on the couch.
Loki was my friend, although the majority of the team tried to discourage me from even talking to him. He was an interesting person to hold a conversation with and I had always felt like I had a connection with him.

"No, come on, Girlie. I know I can be a bit of a dick, but I'm not that bad." He chuckled, glancing at the God.
"It's clearly very personal, although, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted."

"Thank you, Tony." I muttered, giving him a small smile.
"I'm going to go and hide in my room for a while." I laughed awkwardly and he nodded, patting my shoulder, before I left the main room and headed towards my bedroom.
As soon as I was there, I collapsed on my bed, opening the notebook and flipping through the pages.
This notebook meant more to me than anyone could know. It was my my life story, my experiences written down in an overflowing notebook. Every nightmare, every sleepless night. Writing everything down was my coping mechanism and I knew that if anyone on the team read it, they wouldn't look at me the same. They'd pity the broken girl. The girl with nothing.
A knock on my door caused me to snap the notebook shut and take a breath.
"Yeah?"

"Lady Y/N, I believe we need to talk." Loki muttered, opening the door.
I looked at him in confusion, before nodding and patting the space next to me on the bed.
"I want you to let me explain this fully, before you decide to hate me."

"What did you do?" I asked carefully. He looked apologetic and a bad feeling swirled in my gut. He pointed at the notebook in my hands.

"You left it in the library last night. I found it and I was going to return it to you, but you had left it open." He began slowly and my eyes widened.

"You read it?" I asked in disbelief.

"It was a book in the library, so yes." My jaw dropped.
"At first, I didn't realise what it was, but as soon as I did I should have stopped reading but-"

"Yes you should have!" I yelled at him, feeling both betrayed and violated.

"Listen to me." He continued calmly and there was a ringing in my ears.
"I have no good excuse for why I didn't stop reading, I'm not even going to argue and defend myself. If you decide that I betrayed our friendship and you want nothing to do with me, then I understand, but I want you to know one thing. I understand what it's like."

"You don't understand. Don't even pretend to understand." I shook my head.
"You're a prince-"

"I have been ridiculed and mocked my entire life. Always reminded I was second best. I was taught that Frost Giants were gruesome monsters to be feared and hated, only to find out that I was one of them." He looked down sadly.
"So maybe our traumas are different, but that doesn't mean I don't understand. I might understand you better than anyone in this tower. If you think I don't understand, then I want you to make me." I looked at him carefully, not knowing how to feel.

"You read it all?" I asked quietly and he hesitated.

"No. Stark found me reading it and took it from me." He admitted and I swallowed nervously, before holding out the book towards him.
"Y/N, you don't have to-"

"You want to understand? Finish it." I mumbled and he took the book from me and I didn't realise my hands were shaking until I placed them in my lap. With a small thud, the book hit the bedcovers and I looked at Loki in confusion, before he wrapped his arms around me. I was shocked by the gesture and it took me a moment to realise that Loki wasn't letting go any time soon. I awkwardly hugged him back, shifting towards him and he held me a little tighter.

"You're stronger than you know, Y/N. I don't need to finish the book to understand that." He muttered and I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
"Once I finish reading your story, I'm going to tell you mine, if you'll listen?"

"I will." I agreed.

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