Innocent (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 14

*KATHRYN'S POV*

"She's a loser, Louis." The words echoed in my head.

"She's a whore and a slut."

"You can talk through this with that freak you have hidden in this bloody apartment!" I heard Jessica scream at Louis.

Tears filled my eyes as I thought to myself, "Why do I fuck everything up? They're in a fight because of me. I am the cause of this."

"I'm leaving!" She shouted, slamming the door.

Then there was silence.

What is wrong with me?

Why do I always ruin everything?

Why does everyone hate me?

These questions kept nagging at my mind as I sat in Louis' dim bedroom.

I sat there in silence, choking back any tears that dared to fall from my eyes.

Not knowing what else to do, I sped to the window, which was near Louis' wardrobe.
I yanked back the gray curtains and looked outside.
It was snowing.

It was the first snow in Manchester so far this winter.

I found the latch to unlock the window and I slowly turned it, hearing a small click noise.
I pushed the window up, but it wouldn't budge.
I pushed harder and it started to move just a little bit.
I pushed it again and it slammed upwards making a huge noise. I heard footsteps start to approach the bedroom, and I knew I needed to hurry.
"Where the fuck is my pen?!" I panicked.
I frantically searched for my pen, the one that I always carry around with me. I finally found it on the floor by Louis' bed and then I hurriedly jumped out the window. As soon as I did that, I heard Louis open his bedroom door. I clung to the wall of his house, praying that I wouldn't be seen.
I heard Louis sigh, and then footsteps came closer to the window.
"Dammit Kathryn." He muttered, "It just has to be snowing. My best friend and my girlfriend are both out in the cold. Way to go Louis. Way to screw things up."

"Oh right so he's the one who screwed things up. Yeah ok. Right. " I thought.

Wait a second...
Did he just call me his best friend?

I wanted to rewind time just to clarify that I heard him right.
After a week or so, we're already best friends?
I jumped a little, hearing the window slam shut beside me. I eased off the wall of Louis' flat and I walked to the curb of his driveway. I sat down and rested my head on my hands.
I just wanted to sit and think this whole thing through.

1. I fuck things up
2. Jessica hates me
3. I am Louis' best friend

The first two didn't surprise me.
But me being Louis' best friend?
Now that was a surprise.
"Like I have the bloody right to be his best friend. I mean look at the situation we're in now. I caused him and his girlfriend to get in a fight." I thought.

"I just need to get the hell out of his life. So I don't cause any bigger problems... yeah that's what I need to do." I told myself, "Just stop talking to him, delete his number, and go."
I got out my phone to delete his number right then and there.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I mean, he was the only friend I had.
I heaved a heavy sigh, closing my eyes as I rubbed my forehead.
"Why is life so difficult?" I asked myself, as I set my phone on my lap.

Snow was beginning to surround me. I knew that I should get going but I didn't feel like getting up.
I didn't feel like doing anything.
I sat there and admired the snow that silently fell on the street in front of me.
I embraced the silence that hung around me like a thick fog.
"I never get to experience this." I thought,
"I'm always so busy with everything that I never get to sit down and relax. I never get to forget the drama and sadness that fills my life..."
But in that moment, I did forget. It was as if I had nothing to worry about. I could just pretend that everything was ok. I felt like it was, only then.
The sad truth was that nothing was ok.
The sad truth was that my life was broken, and I didn't know how to fix it.
This Louis thing was just another problem to add to my list.