Innocent (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 32

*LOUIS' POV*

"Well... alright." She began, "Where should I start?"

"Start from the beginning. Where everything started." I told her.

"The beginning... okay.
Well... uh I think everything started when my dad died. He died when I was 7. I wrote him letters like you saw when I got older. I never truly understood that he was gone until it was like... 17. I never really asked questions about it to my mother... I was afraid to. She never spoke about it either. I don't know if she ever got over it... she never re-married. I do remember him... I went to his funeral, and I used to visit his grave when I was a little girl with my sister." She explained.

She played with her fingers as she spoke.

"How did he die?" I questioned.

"I don't know. That's the thing. When I got older, and I understood everything more, I asked my mum and she wouldn't give me an answer." She told me,
"All she would say was 'he was crazy dear, no need to worry about it now'. So... I don't know."

"Did he... kill himself?" I asked her.

"I feel like he did... I just want to know why he died..." Her voice trailed off,
"Anyways."

She moved a strand of her light brown hair behind her ear.

"Everything was harder without him. We went from being the most perfect family to...
A broken family.
I haven't talked to them for 2 years." She explained,
"I was lonely. My mom was distant ever since then, but she got better."

I nodded, telling her to continue.

"Well I had a lot of friends in secondary school - I know, surprising - and my closest friend was Lyndsay.
She was like a sister to me.
She was the one who set me up with... Danny." She spoke,
"I remember... it was a blind date. All she told me was that he was 'really hot' and I figured why not. I was the only one in my group of friends who was single, so I was all for this."

She smiled, shaking her head.

"It was the best date I'd ever gone on." she smiled, "We hit it off immediately. I was quite surprised because usually blind dates don't work out, but it worked out for us."

"But... I-I didn't realize how... bad he was." She went on, "He was like your typical bad boys in all the films and shit.
At the beginning, he was so sweet. He was so gentle.
But once I got to know him better..."

She paused, taking a deep breath.

"I re-remember once... he called me at like 3 AM... he asked if I could come over. I did because I loved him. I thought he was sad or something, and he needed me." She muttered,
"When I got there, he wasn't sad at all. He was high. He was smoking pot, and he wanted me to join him. And since I was born into one of those typical white Christian homes, I was disappointed in him with this at the time."

"When I told him that... when I said that I was disappointed in him... he got so angry.
He beat me." She said with tears in her eyes, "He beat me. And I still loved him. I don't know why... I was so naive. I mean... he did this kind of thing all the time. I'd always forgive him. I don't know why..."

I saw pain flash in her eyes, as if the images of that night were re-visiting her thoughts.

"He eventually got me into that though. Smoking. His 'bad influence' rubbed off on me a bit. I had changed. I was so innocent before I met him.
But he got me into smoking weed, toilet papering peoples houses, stealing money, helping his jackass drug dealer friend... he even persuaded me into getting a tattoo." She stated,
"Even my attitude had changed. I was loving and passionate toward Danny, but I was hostile toward my family. He even drove me away from Lyndsay.
He was crazy. We'd always be pulling some kind of stunt every day. And if we weren't...
We would be having some really kinky sex or something."

"He was so... controlling. If I didn't want to do anything, he'd basically force me by threatening me, or he would hit me and apologize later.
I was basically his bitch." She explained, "But for some reason I still thought he loved me.
Long story short, he got me pregnant, and he left me."

"I was only 18, and I still lived in my mother's house. I was asleep with him beside me, and when I woke up he was gone. He had taken all his stuff, and he ran away. My mum found out I was pregnant and she disowned me and kicked me out of the house. I felt like shit.
She was telling me how worthless I was right in front of my 14 year old sister. Stuff like: 'I told you he was a bad influence' and 'I knew he was going to leave you' " She told me, "So then I came running to Lyndsay. I asked her if I could stay with her. She rejected me as well. Of coarse she would, because I hadn't spoken to her ever since Danny had taken control of my life.
So I had officially lost everyone. I had no one else to go to."

"Don't you have any aunts or cousins?" I asked her.

"No. My mum was an only child. I had family on my dad's side, but we hadn't spoken to them since he died. I never knew why." She answered.

"Oh."

"And the town I lived in was quite small, and rumors were spreading fast. I was the unprincipled 18 year old girl who got pregnant by the bastard who left her." She explained, "That's when I left town."

"And you came here..." I spoke.

"Yeah. I already told you why I live with the sorority girls... but I didn't tell you everything." She told me, "This wasn't a new thing. I had always been depressed, and I had always been self harming. I had actually stopped once meeting you... but that was all ruined."

"What happened to the baby?" I questioned.

"I gave it up to adoption. I didn't want it... it was Danny's baby too." she mumbled. 

"Do you know what happened to Danny?" I asked her.

"No." She answered, "I have no clue. I don't want to know. I shouldn't care anymore." 

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