Whirlwind | The Maze Runner- Newt

Nothing To See Here, Just Your Usual New Greenie

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

ADELAIDE

I sit on the top of my tree as I squint my eyes to see the Greenie. I didn't go to the Box as the Greenie alarm blared, unfortunately, for the first time of my amnesiac life, reminding me pointedly about my inability to find the way out of the Maze.

I am so incapable, that it takes me like almost a month to get to be a Runner and when I've finally became one, I get insomniac or I have too much of nightmares to sleep properly. I literally have to push myself to get out of the bed every morning. There is this huge weight of exhaustion over my bones that is making me sick to the stomach and I wonder how much I can carry on like this before my body snaps.

And my nightmares?

Whenever I've asked Stan or Chuck about their memories, they always say that all they've seen are snippets and blurred images.

Minho had seen the faces of a woman and a little girl- he thinks that they are his mother and sister.

And Frypan had seen little snippets of him playing or studying with a boy and in a school.

No one even remotely has had dreams like me. Wheat I get almost every night are vivid scenes from my past life- sometimes I'm seeing it as a first person and sometimes as the third but all the times it is equally horrifying and traumatizing.

I've seldom had normal dreams. It gets so so scary that I have to scream myself awake. And one time, Newt had to wake me up because I was screaming so badly.

Since that day, Newt has always offered me his help and asked me to open up and share my problems with him but I didn't. I can't.

How can I tell him that my memories from past life are tortures? How can I tell him that my dad punched the hell out of me? How can I tell him that my mother is probably dead?

What if he thinks that my memories are riddled with pain and so much suffering because I might have been a horrible person and that I might have deserved this? I can't exactly blame him if he thinks that I was a bad person in my past life and hence so much tortures, because, I myself think so.

I know how to conceal myself. I've quite managed to convince Newt that I'm perfectly fine and well. I know how to check my emotions. I keep it so secure, that even I sometimes can't figure it out myself.

I watch as Gally reaches out to open the metal gates. Chuck and Stan are talking. Maybe Stan is congratulating him on his promotion from Greenie.

I see the boys throw down the rope to get the Greenie out. I can make out the boys pull the Greenie out.

The Greenie.