EXITronpa ; Escape, Exit, Elucidate!

[5] Looking Forward.

I was quiet, biting my lip as I walked up to the third floor of the school. I didn't mutter anything, focused on a singular thing. I took out my phone, gazing softly at it. I missed her so much. Her optimistic voice.. Everything about her. I groaned a little as I slowly went to walk for the nurse's office, blankly looking forward as I looked over to the bed where I remembered my poor friend who had passed away had laid. The body wasn't there anymore, shakingly, I went to go and get down on my knees in front of the bed and put down my phone.

The screen displayed a video, not having yet played as I hesitantly went to play it. I watched it lifelessly, not saying a word as I was on the verge of tears. I wanted to pay my respects and apologize for everything. Her death was my fault.

The video soon played, it was a short video of all of us. We were smiling and happy as we were hanging out at an amusement park, joking around. I was recording us in a selfie form, my arm wrapped around Match on the screen as we were all grinning and smiling. "Come on! We gotta go before like, the line gets too long!" Match called out, as the video was really shaky due to me holding it while running. We were all laughing, happy. "I roilly would loive to have some cotton coindy!" Bubble happily said, close to Ice Cube and Ruby as we were all walking after reaching the concession stands. I nodded in the video, "Yeah sure, I'll pay. Lemme just end thi-" The video shortly ended as I looked back to the screen.. I looked back at my past self.. My happier self.

I took everything for granted.

I really wish I didn't. I wiped my tears, groaning a little in pain. I felt so much guilt.. I don't even know how Bubble, Icy, and Book are now.. All I know is that Match's dead because of me and Ruby is still alive.. But I don't even know how long she'd last now. I felt so vulnerable, gazing down as I felt tears stream down my cheeks. I wished things were different...

I wish it was me instead.

Match didn't deserve it. Nor did Leafy.

...Or David..

..Or Spongy.

None of them.

I slammed my hand down on the floor, crying out in agony as I felt the emotional pain. It felt like it was ripping me into bits, just laughing at my suffering and despair. I moved my hands to my face, covering my face as I felt tears dripping down like crazy. I didn't know what to do or say... It felt like I'd be here crying about her forever. I'm relieved I found that charger in my room, but I can't bear just continuing to look at the happy past without remembering their eventual fates... My eventual fate.

I'm going to die here, aren't I?

I sniffled a bit as I suddenly perked up overhearing someone's approach. I didn't expect anyone, going to wipe my tears and turn around to see who it was. I expected someone like Ruby or Taco but...

...You alright?"

I gazed at 8-Ball warily as he raised an eyebrow. He seemed a little awkward to have found me, rubbing the back of his head a bit. I glanced to the side, trying to avoid eye contact as he went to approach me a little. "Sorry if I.. Interrupted you." He spoke a little in his typical monotone voice. "You miss her, don't you." I glanced up at him, wiping my tears and nodding a bit. I had no idea what he knew. I never saw him around, really..

"I thought so.." He muttered under his breath. "Well, I can't really help much with getting her back or anything because erm, she's gone. For good." He went to move his hand over to my shoulder, gently rubbing it. I flinched a little, observing him as he went to squat down on his knees. "But I can comfort you." He spoke softly.

"...Hm?" I was a little surprised, going to go and sit down properly as he went to do the same.

He glanced to the side. "I know how it feels to lose the ones closest to you.." He muttered a little. He rubbed his eyes a bit, seemingly because they were getting wet before continuing to rub my shoulder to console me. "It's better to cope and move on rather than reminisce or feel nostalgia about the past." He stated. "I know it's hard. Certainly, if it was suddenly."

"..W-Why are you comforting me?"

"Because you deserve someone to lean onto.. I know that you really don't right now.. We don't know eachother much either, but, it's better to have someone you don't quite know to cry into and help you than have nobody at all."

I hesitated, tearing up. "...Mmgn-" I went to lean into him. "B-But.. I-I don't know! It should've been me... I should've been the one to have been-"

"Pencil. I know you wish that it wasn't her... I thought that too.. After the whole incident." He frowned a little. "She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately. You can't change that now.."

"I-I wish I could've!"

"...I know." He growled a little but seemingly kept his cool despite that. "It'll sting. It'll probably sting for a while, days, months.. Even years. Even with this.. You need to move on, face forward." He replied. "It'll be hard since we're in this situation, but I know there has to be a way we can look towards a better future.. I mean, this is just observation but.. You, Ruby, and Taco seem to be nice friends now."

I hesitated as he said Taco's name. "..Right.." I bit my lip, not completely believing his words.

"Even if they aren't your friends," He seemed to have read my mind as he raised an eyebrow. "They seem to be people comforting you during these bad times. It'll be hard. But I know you can do it.. No matter what happens." He mumbled to me, going to move from just rubbing my shoulder to straight-up hugging me. I was surprised by the contact, but I felt tears stream down my cheeks and I couldn't hold it anymore.

"..I-I don't know-" I sniffled, trying to take in the thought of possibly not surviving. Match was so close... Like.. Nobody else mattered to me. She was basically my salt to my pepper. "I-I don't think I can move on.." I was shaking a little, feeling vulnerable against him. Hell, he could kill me right now if he wanted. The thought made me panic.

But, he didn't. "I'm sure you can." He reassured me, still acting soft towards me as he still held me. "I'm not quite the type to be this kind, but I believe you do deserve it. Just try your best, okay?"

...

I wasn't sure how to react. I gazed at him weakly.

"...Okay."

I gripped onto 8-Ball, sobbing into him and letting out everything. Time seemed to go so slow at this time. It felt like minutes, then hours, then even.. days. I stayed close to him, not knowing if this may be the last time I ever spoke to him. "..Thank you.." I said chokingly through my tears, feeling terrible inside.

"It's alright, no need to thank me."

I didn't know what to say. I bit my lip, going to slowly let go of him after a few more of seemingly hours of crying into him for comfort. I was so glad I could just tell someone. Ruby didn't seem like the type to be able to relate to me and calm her down and I didn't know how to feel about Taco to even try to go to her for this sort of thing. I was so glad 8-Ball tried to help.. I'd definitely keep it in mind.

"..Mmn.." I rubbed the back of my head, going to stand. "..It's probably getting late," I spoke. "..Thanks, again," I said, before going to turn away and begin to walk away from him. I didn't hear 8-Ball say anything more as I felt a warming presence wash over me.

I went to quietly begin walking downstairs from the third floor, going to head back to the main floor.

I was a little anxious I had reached the first floor.
Glancing around a bit, I made my way for the dormitory hallways. It was probably late.. Around 9 PM at this point. I knew I had to get into bed before I broke the rules and got punished. I glanced to the side and went to enter my room, going to close it once I stepped inside.

I frowned, stretching a bit tiredly as I went to take off my band and untie my ponytail. I yawned a bit, visibly tired. I just wanted to pass out.. My eyes felt puffy, huffing a little as I slowly stumbled onto my bed and slowly went to pass out.