Tears of Blood (wlw)

to hell with chaos

DEVYN POV

She looked stunning. She had me feeling breathless the first time I saw her. Looking at her on the dance floor, it seemed like the universe was nothing compared to her. And all I wanted to do was get lost in her. I saw Ashtons hand go up from her exposed thigh to her waist while she rested her head on his chest. Why was I even feeling like this? Why did she have this effect on me? What was so special about her? My blood boiled when I saw Ashton whisper something in her ear and she laughed.

I grabbed some fruit punch and headed to toward the exit.

"DEV?" I turned to face Sierra.

"Hey."

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? YOU JUST WENT MIA. I WAS WORRIED."

"I went home for a bit." I looked down at my shoes, it was hard to lie to Sierra she always caught it.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Your hands say something different."

"Look, tonight please just enjoy your night. Go. Dance with Jacob. I don't want my shitty issues to ruin it for you."

"You won't ruin anything. I just care. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Seriously. I was just heading to Bianca's place for the afterparty. I thought maybe to get there early so I have enough booze for myself."

"I'll meet you there?"

"Sure thing." I walk out and find my car. Sitting in it, I let myself breath. My hands hurt from all the abuse I gave them. I hated myself for hating myself. But I couldn't stop. I hated every inch of me. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw an awful person looking back at me. And so I hated mirrors. I turned up the music and drove to Bianca's house.

"Well look at who showed up early!" Bianca cheered.

"Hey, didn't wanna mis anything, you know I love your parties." I say with a smile.

"A party ain't a party without me, that's for sure." She hugged me and then noticed my hands.

"Don't ask." I say with a laugh.

"I think I better get you something to drink."

"Yes please that would be nice." I collapsed onto the couch. Her house always looked the same every year. Bianca was known to throw the biggest and craziest parties. There were only a few people here at the moment, and I was relieved because I could not stand being around people at this moment. I grabbed a bottle of alcohol that was on the table and started to chug it. Bianca came out of the kitchen with two cups.

"Whoa whoa, slow down there. If you keep that up, you'll be drunk and brainless in an hour."

"Maybe that's the point." I say while taking another swig.

"Who hurt you that bad?"

"It's not who hurt me, it's who I hurt."

"Hmmm." The bell rings and more people start to file in.

"Well if you need me just holler okay."

"Okay."

While drinking all I could think about was Andrea and her black dress. How she was probably still dancing with Ashton in his arms. I had the sudden urge to punch the wall again, because I didn't want to think about her. Why must my brain do this? Why does it make me think about people who don't think about me? Someone as perfect as Andrea wouldn't even want me in their life, for I would just ruin everything like always.