loss

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ANDREA POV

I wake up in my dorm room. My arm is in a cast and I'm all cleaned up. I think I was too tired to remember what happened after finding Ash yesterday. Sitting up, I see that everyone was here. Isabella was asleep in her bed while Ash and Gabe were sprawled on the floor. I quietly get out of bed and step over them to get to the bathroom when I see someone move around in the balcony. Opening the screen door, I step out to find Devyn pacing back and forth while smoking her cigarette.

"Hey." I say as she nods in my direction. She doesn't look at me as if she was hiding something. I walk toward her and turn her so that we're facing each other. Her eyes are red and puffy and her face is scratched up, while her arms and fingers have band-aids. She's in a black tank top with her hair half up and half down.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" I ask. She nods like a child.

"I couldn't sleep. Not after what happened. I was out trying to figure out how it happened and just..."

Her voice cracks and I just want to hold her. I wanted to shield her from everything that could possibly hurt her, but right now all I could do was grab her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Dev, I really am. If there's anything you need.." I tell her as we're in a long embrace.

"I don't know what to say."

"It's okay." I step away from her and her eyes are filled with tears once again and my heart aches for her.

"You need to rest. You look like you haven't slept in forever."

"I know. I just can't. I tried to , but my mind is just all over the place."

"We'll get through this." I squeeze her hand again and I feel like this is becoming a routine of ours, almost like silent reassurance.

We walk back inside to see everyone else was awake to and getting ready.

"I'm going to go check in with my parents, and I think we all should." Gabriel mutters.

"Yeah I agree. Then in a few hours let's meet at Brianna's place." Ash agrees. They all head out leaving Dev and Isabella here with me.

"Aren't you going to go home?" I ask Dev.

"Yeah I might just. I need to talk to my father about the attack.But I don't want to leave you here alone."

"It's okay, I have Bella."

"Actually, I have to go too. My dad is worried sick. You can come with me.." Isabella offers.

"No it's fine you go ahead." She looks at the both of us and then heads out.

"If you don't mind, can I actually come with you?" I ask Devyn stupidly.

"Yeah let's go." I grab my sweater and lock the room before heading out with Dev. We get into her car and drive to her house. There's personnel in uniforms everywhere.

"Let's head in from the East wing. There's probably no one there because my dad works from the West wing."

As we enter, Riley, Sloane and Sage are sitting on the couch. There's two kids sleeping on them too, but I can't figure out who they are. I suddenly realize that they were probably Sage's kids.

"Devyn!" Riley gets up and runs over to Devyn, who drops to her knees to hug her.

"Hey Andrea, how are you holding up?" Sloane asks.

"I'm okay."

"That arm looks bad." Sage adds.

"Yeah I think I broke it."

"Is Father busy?" Devyn asks.

"Very busy, I haven't gotten the chance to talk to him yet." Sloane sighs.

"Really? Has he said anything? Anyone responsible?" Devyn is desperate for answers.

"Our military believes it was the Rahl's." My words get tangles in my mouth and my mind feels fuzzy as Sage says it. Devyn seems to understand because she puts a hand on my lower back and guides me upstairs.

"We're just going to go upstairs for a bit until Father is ready."

"Yeah, sure, whatever you need." Sloane says as she taps Devyn's shoulder. I heard Sloane was the one who found Dev trying to dig out Brianna. We go upstairs into Devyn's room and she helps me sit on her bed.

"Are you okay? I thought you were getting dizzy." She seems concerned but I'm too busy looking at my cast. She moves my hair away from my face and lets it sit behind my ears.

"I asked if you were okay?" Now we're face to face. I can see all of the ragged scars on her face. I use my hand to go over them with my finger and as my fingers touch her skin, she closes her eyes.

"I can't be okay if you're not okay." I have no idea what that means or why I said it but I know that I mean it. I know that I want her to stop hurting. She looks at me with a look that gives me comfort, because I know she understands.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" I suggest.

"If you stay here with me."

I nod and she climbs into bed while kicking her shoes off.I know that she's tired because her eyes are heavy right when she lays down. She taps the spot next to her, telling me to be next her. I lie down next her. She starts to shake and I hear her sniffle. I can tell that she's crying. Moving closer to her, I put my arm around her to hold her.

"It's okay, I'm right here. Shhhh." I hold her until she falls asleep.

I walk around her room and then I look through her wardrobe for something to wear. I wanted to take a shower to wash off yesterday and maybe by that time Dev would have woken up.

I walk out of the shower and Devyn is still fast asleep. I watch how she looks at peace when she's sleeping, but I know she probably has the worst nightmares. She shouldn't have to carry all of this. And I'm sorry that I'm a part of her hurting.

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