strawberries & cigarettes

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DEVYN POV

After spending some time outside and singing whilst drunk, we all headed inside to sleep. I walked Iris to our room. As we entered, she tugged at my shirt and stepped closer to me. I let my hands rest on her hips, moving her closer to me. She kisses me gently, her lips feeling like silk. As I kiss her back, I walk backwards to the bed and she pushes me onto it. Staring up at her, she looks beautiful, her pink hair resting on her shoulders. Her nose piercing glistened in the darkness of the room. She climbs onto my lap and kiss me again, and this time I passionately kiss her back, slowly trailing down her neck. Then her thigh brushes up against something in my side pocket, and I pull away.

"What is it?" She whispers as she starts to kiss my neck.

"Wait, I'll be right back love, give me five minutes." Half my words are slurred because of all the alcohol. She gets off my lap and rests on the bed.

"Be quick."

"I will," I reply with a kiss. Walking out, I head toward the patio. Before I open the screen door, I see Andrea through it, she's sitting on a chair, looking at the remnants of the fire. She chugs on her beer while staring up into the sky, leaning back. Her hair blows away from her face because of the wind, and she looks ethereal. The fierceness of her features, look a lot softer now, her eyes are dimmed and her jaw is clenched.

"You know.." I start to say as I open the door, " Art is also the way you love someone even though you're broken." I knew that there was a great deal of pain she's been through, but I didn't know what it was, and holding that ring breaks her, but she loves it too.

Her ears perk up as she looks up to see me.

"What?What are you doing here?"

"I came to give you this. I can tell it means a lot to you," I reach out into my pocket to retrieve her ring.

"Why do you have this? I threw it away for a reason." She reaches out to grab it out of my hand.

"Sometimes, there are things you do need to hold on to. Seeing that look on your face when you threw it, I understood that you actually wanted to keep it." I take a seat on the chair next to her, lighting a cigarette.

"You should get drunk more often." She remarks while wearing her ring.

"Hmm?"

"We only get along when we're drunk, don't you think." I let out a little laugh.

"True. It's not my fault you always seem to need my help."

"Ohhh, so it's not because you like me?" I'm suddenly glad that it's dark outside because I can feel my cheeks flush and heat up.

"You wish I did, didn't you? Don't get too confident, I'd never fall for someone like you. Only Ash does that."

"But you'd fall for someone like Iris?" As she says this, I look up at her and she stares back.

"I wouldn't say that. We're just having fun."

"I think she likes you more than fun."

"You seem to care a lot."

"Nope. Just don't want more people to be hurt by you."

"And who have I hurt?"

"I don't know, just saying. Why don't you do relationships anyways?" I look away from her, staring out to the forest. How was I supposed to respond to this? That I had commitment issues? That I despised love, that I didn't believe in it?

"I just think it's another way for me to let someone down, or sometimes they let me down." I reply.

"Hmm. That doesn't make sense, but okay. I think you're just scared."

"I'm not. I just don't think love exists. Truthfully, I don't know how to make sense of anything without hurting it first." I look down at my fingers.

"Is love supposed to make sense?"

"I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care about anything to do with that matter. But then again, I can ask you why you didn't take Ash's proposal to be his girlfriend."

"That's between me and him."

"And what about that ring? Ex-lover?"

She looks down to her finger and touches her ring.

"It's my mother's." She says in a soft whisper.

"Where is she?" Her face turns into a grimace.

"She's gone... dead." My jaw clenches and my hands turn into fists. The pain was so apparent on her face and I wanted to suck all the pain out of her life and lock it into a jar. Instead, I stand up.

"Well, I guess we do have something in common after all." I walk towards the door, when I hear her walk up to me. Turning around, I see her standing behind me. She smelled like alcohol and strawberries with a hint of mint.

She leans in, " Next time we get drunk...don't come trying to help me again." Her breath sends a tingle down my spine.

"Don't worry, love, I've got better things to do than hang around you. It's just that, unfortunately, my humanity, my chivalry, is heightened when I'm in that state. So I'm gracious to people in need." She takes a step back and gives me a stern stare.

"Well, thank you, you're majesty. I am grateful for you and your humanity towards us humble civilians. How ever shall I pay you?"

"You are a lost cause." I say shaking my head.

"And you are an asshole." I sense her smiling. Leaving her outside, I walk back to my room. As I climb into bed I realize that Iris has fallen asleep, so I tuck her in.

Not being able to sleep, I sit in the corner of the room lighting another cigarette with my father's words running around in my head. Being in love with someone makes you very weak. It makes you feel helpless, vulnerable, and subjugated.


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