Gillian, you found me again

"please"

GILLIANS POV:
Once my eyes open, I feel our hands have changed. Instead of mine cupping over top of her hand, she's intertwined our fingers. My eyes follow up her arm and land on her precious face.

She smiles at me "Gillian, I'll be okay" she chuckles loosely.
the nurse walks in to take the tray only covered in a used paper plate, and a cup of now room temperature water.

"You have a job back in London" my thumb rubs against her hand "I know" I glance at the clock. Shit. "What's wrong" leave it up to her to tell I'm disappointed in 0.5 seconds.

"My boss only gave me 3 days more, today's my last day" she gives me a sad smile and looks down at the end of her bed "I'm supposed to leave for my flight by 4pm so I can be back in time to shoot at 7 tomorrow."

She doesn't lose her stare, and stays focused on the tucked sheets. "I wish I could make these last few hours more fun for you" she says finally diverting her attention

I let out a small laugh "that's okay, I don't mind this" it's already 12:30, that tray the nurse took was probably the lunch that I missed. I notice her eyelids start to flutter, and her head falls back into the pillow.

"Go to sleep" I say "but I don't want to wake up with you gone" I Tilt my head "that's okay, I'll stay with you until the last minute I can" she slowly nods "you just remember to text or call me whenever you can"

She cracks a small smile to replace the words "okay". The numbing medicine for her neck has the side effect of sleepiness. But Ive decided I'm going to wait with her until I have to go.

Technically I should actually be leaving for the airport in half an hour since it's an international flight, but I've done this way too many times. I know how long they wait so I'll take my time.

I decide I'll leave at 2. Sitting in the room, holding her hand, watching her sleep. At about 1:15 I notice her grip loosen which doesn't surprise me considering she's sleeping

But after a few minutes I notice her hand start to feel cold. The bitter numb one it felt when I first got here. I wrap both hands around it to make sure, and I'm right, it's fucking freezing.

I'm turning my head to call to the nurse for help when the beeping from the heart monitor machine stops. I jerk my head to the machine, and watch as the pointed lines going up and down turn into one, long, flat line.

"Nurse!" I turn to back to her and check where the pulse should be. I had to do it enough times in the x-files I know how to check. But there was no pulse. It was long gone.

I couldn't hear anyone coming to the room so I yelled louder "NURSE!" even I'm shocked by how ugly that sounded. Now my heartbeats going up as I look at her pale face "please"

I think the patient next door could hear my heartbeat "please y/n" are the only words I can get out without screaming. Finally I hear the nurse walking in.

Before she can say anything she looks up at the monitor, and sees the flatline. She rushes over messing with all the tubes and machines. I sit back and watch as 3 other nurses and doctors walk in.

All trying different things saying "stay with us" and "come on come on" I avert my eyes to the underneath of the bed. Nothing under there. It's empty as ever. Huh, I think I can see the light from the window from under the bed. Then all of sudden the 3 others walk out of the room leaving only the first nurse and me.

"I'm sorry," she starts, but I don't want to hear it. I know what she'll say ",but she's gone." I let out a huge breath. She must take that as a sign and walks out, closing the door behind her.

Tears already pooled in my eyes, I look down. Her eyes are shut, and her skin is going a strange shade of grey, perhaps only one I can see. My heart which was already in my stomach finds itself on the floor now.

I pull my chair as close as I can to the bed, cup her cheek in my hand. Before I can say anything tears roll down my face, hitting her hospital gown.

As best as I can, I try to pull her in for one last embrace. Her body lays lifeless in my arms. Her skin, cold to the touch. The faded scent of her perfume still lingers, that I can smell over her shoulders.

"Please" it rolls off my tongue bringing a few more tears with it. I sit back up and pull away. Staring at the girl before me. I just sit, Not knowing what to do now.

I get used to The feeling of cold tears hitting my pants every few minutes, while nurses talk outside the door. I'm supposed to be leaving now, it's 2:10, but I can't.

Although it pains me more to look at her like this, I fear that the moment I leave, it'll be real. So I stay, until it's 3:45. Now I actually have to go unless I want to get fired.

I heavy heartedly grab my coat that's been collecting dust on the chair next to me. I walk past the front desk when the nurse says "wait!"

I turn around, she's got a clipboard in her hand.
"I'm sorry for your loss ma'am, but we can't determine what happened" I just stare at the walls on either side of her

"But we can't waste hospital beds" my eyebrows raise "she's not dead. Your not putting her six feet under soil just yet" even I can hear the bitterness in my voice.

"Well, what would you like us to do ma'am, we do have other patients who need that bed" I swallow hard, then say "what if you put her in the coma thing" my voice cracks and my throat starts to sting.

Not now. I can't cry again.
"I mean, I suppose that would work" she writes something down on that clipboard
"great, you better call me if even the most minor change happens" I say, handing her my phone card.

She just nods. I walk out and head to the airport to catch my flight. My mind is cloudy for the remainder of the night. I try to piece it together but I can't. Why? How? She was totally fine.

I want to think of something else but it's not very easy when someone like that just leaves abruptly. What now?