Gillian, you found me again

i will never let go

GILLIANS POV:
The days pass longingly, until it's November 3rd. Her birthday. This was the day I believed all would return to normal. She would awake, she would be okay, I could finally feel her touch again, but no.

Instead I sit in my house, under my bedsheets from the bitter and frigid cold outside my window. It's a typical fall in London, rain pouring down the streets, heavily.

Their predicting a snow fall tonight, this rain could be freezing. All I feel is the astrained warmth from my sheets. I don't want to get up today. I'm bitter that things haven't changed as I was hoping.

After another hour or so of dreading the day in bed, I decide I don't care. I will send her a birthday message. No ones looking at her phone right now, so what's the harm?

I grab my phone, and hit her name. I start typing "dear y/n, happy birthday. I wish I could say it to you in person, but it's too late now. Today was supposed to be about you, and you becoming legal. Heh if you were reading this I know would make one of those sarcastic jokes I pretend to hate, but really I love. Sending you kisses.
xo, Gillian <3"

I send, and don't bother deleting it. Maybe she'll see it when she wakes up. One can only hope.

It's a Saturday, so no filming today. There's nothing to look forward to though, only the call I'm praying to get, but never do. I do absolutely nothing except sit in my room, and stare at the phone thatI wish would ring.

But it doesn't. The clock hits 11pm and I decide theres no point. I might as well go to sleep. So while laying on my side with my tangled hair, I wonder about what today could've been like.

Today she could've legally kissed me. Today she would've been legally allowed to. The thought leaves a big knot in my stomach, so I close my eyes, and try to push my feelings down my throat.

*A FEW WEEKS LATER*
The month of December hits, but instead of singing Christmas songs, and wrapping presents, I still wait for a call. The holidays seem to linger like bad perfume, couples all around me, smiling, buying each other flowers.

It's already the 12th, and I've just bought presents for my family. Obviously one for David, and although I can't give it to her, I buy her one too. It's a silver infinity ring, made of real silver, so it'll never rust.

When we first cuddled together in LA she played with my gold infinity ring, and told me she liked it, but she preferred silver to gold. Some will call it a waste of a purchase, but I believe one day she will get it.

I sit in my living room, and start wrapping up gifts, when my phone rings. I rush, and quickly grab it. "Hello?" I say, my spirits lifting hoping it's the call
"hey gil" oh it's David.

"Oh hi" I try to hide the disappointment "so am I still apart of this family Christmas dinner?" He asks every year, and I always say the same thing "of course, how could we forget you"

Ever since the x-files season, we do Christmas Eve at his parents place, and Christmas Day at my parents place. We're just friends, and always have been but it's just a silly little tradition we have.

"Okay good, still the 24th?" I force a smile "yup as usual" he chuckles "okay, see ya" he hangs up, and I sigh. I want that call, I feel it's close, or at least I hope it is.

I continue wrapping, and decide I might as well set up my tree while I'm at it. I get a little feeling of happiness when I see all the decorations come together on the tree, I love Christmas.

I'm just dreading that this one will leave a bad taste in my mouth. My stomach rumbles, and I look at the clock "oh fuck" I say. It's already 8pm, and I haven't eaten since lunch at 12.

I quickly make a frozen ravioli, and eat it in the light of the Christmas tree. I watch tv as I usually do, then head to bed. It's already midnight, and I have to film tomorrow at 10. Probably not the smartest decision, but it's what I do.I shut off my lights, and close my eyes.

My body jolts when I hear the loud ringtone of my phone go off. I really got to remember to turn that thing down. I turn to it, and see the hospital number.

I quickly sit up and answer "hello?" I say, my eyes trying to adjust to the dark "hi, Gillian?" Still the same nurse, I recognize that voice "uh yes, hi, has anything happened?"

My breathing is getting heavier while I wait for her response "actually yes" she pauses then says "we have some news for you" I cross my fingers, and bite my lip as hard as I can. She didn't say "good" before news.

"Y/n has woken up" I nearly jump out of bed, and feel my heart race "really? That's amazing! How is she?"
"She's doing good actually, heart beat is back to normal, blood scan is good, she seems to check out"

It's almost as if the butterflies covered in dust, have awoken "that's amazing" I say, sighing in relief, as if all the bottled up stress has left me "can I see her?" I ask hesitatingly

"Yes, actually the first thing she said when she woke up was 'where's Gillian?'" I smile a genuine smile, I haven't done that in a long time,
it feels good. "Okay thank you, I'll be down there as soon as I can"

I'm about to hang up when the nurse says "wait gillian" I put the phone back up to my ear "would it be okay if we surprised her with you? Instead of telling her, I think her reaction would be sweet"

I blush at the thought "yes actually that sounds great. Thank you again" I hang up, and just stare at the sheets in front of me. Adrenaline from the call is rushing through me

I just want to hug her. Oh thank god I can hug her again. Now she's legal, now I can kiss her, I can hold her in my arms, and I'll never let go.

I promise myself that "I will never let go"

HEY YALL JUST WANNA SAY TY TO THE 2 PPL WHO KEEP VOTING ON THESE ILY MUAH MUAH!!!