Gillian, you found me again

so weird

GILLIANS POV:
Man I'm used to Christmas being boring but this is something else. David's family are all over the place, trying to meet mine, while mine kinda don't give a fuck. Hah it's us in a nutshell.

It's 6:30 when dinner is served. David's family brought ham, turkey, gravy, little bakery buns, and a cherry pie for dessert. Mine only brought corn and mashed potatoes.....

It's certainly a little awkward, standing around waiting for something fun to happen. I fill my plate with 2 slices ham, 1 of turkey, a giant scoop of potato's, pools of gravy, 3 bread buns, and a little scoop of corn.

I'm trying to be decent, but it's hard to be a "lady" when your plate has a literal pile of food on it. The food is helping with my anxiety right now, I'm terrified somethings going to happen to her again.

My gut tells me everything is fine, but I can't really be sure. We finish up, cut the pie, and play some games (David's uncles suggestion) they've brought a bunch of board games, and I don't want to be rude. I force my family to at least play and be decent human beings.

We actually end up having fun, and play all the games David's family has brought, and win at monopoly! My family is starting to tell stories after we've finished. We're laughing, and sharing experiences at the fire, it's weird. I check my phone, realizing I haven't been on it all night. The clock reads "10:46" fuck I promised I'd be home already.

I make an excuse to leave early. David helps me get my coat and says "you and sexy have fun tonight" I roll my eyes and do up the buttons.
"Thanks for coming" he says softly.
"Thanks for having me" I smile and pull him into a hug before I leave and walk to my car. It's snowing pretty heavy, and the winds picking up. There's a shit load of traffic for whatever reason, but it's slowing my way down.

Once I finally reach home, it's already 11:23. I hope she's okay, I hope she's not mad. I open the door to see her little face smushed into the couch. I giggle, and take off my heavy boots, excited to go lie with her for a little while.

I grab another pillow, and my big blanket. I tuck her in, and cuddle up next to her.

*THE NEXT MORNING*

GILLIANS POV:
I yawn, but feel the body presence next to me is gone. I look down to see she's not in my arms. "Y/n?" I call out, worried something happened to her "y/n!"

She responds from my kitchen yelling back "yeah?" I stand up and walk into the kitchen "don't scare me like that" she smiles and walks over to me, pulling me in for soft hug. "Sorry, I was just hungry"

She says pointing to the eggs currently cooking on my favourite red pan. I nod and just stand at the counter, partly because I'm tired, and partly because I want eggs too. "Sooo" She starts "how was Christmas?"

I look up at her back now facing me. "It was okay, it was a bit awkward at first, but our families actually started getting along" I stop for a second and admire this.

This is something I need to save, to remember. I watch her dump the eggs on a plate, and follow her to the table. "Chefs back in the house I see" she blushes grabbing a mouthful with her fork "shits good" I nod, eating more then half the plate.

The next few days pass like the previous, filled with food, adventures, lots of David, and plenty of kisses. For New Years we've decided to call David over for a few drinks. We never really celebrate with family anyways, and he seems to like her so it all works out.

We're lying in my bed, it's 12:43. She told me to text David for New Years. "Ok, what should I say then?" She moves her head on my chest and grabs my phone. I gaze over the text she's typing, the bright light of the phone hurting my tired eyes.

It reads "hey David, wanna come over for New Years with y/n and me?" Once she finishes she looks up at me for approval to send it. I nod and watch her click send. We both know David's already asleep by now, that's just the kind of guy he is.

"That guy has the personality of tweetie bird" my laugh moves her head, as she lifts up and laughs with me. Our legs wrapped in each other, her hand reaching for my cheek. She just sits there for a minute before ending our night like usual with "I love you"

Man she still doesn't know how I feel. I still don't know if she means it like I do. She doesn't know how bad I want to be her girlfriend, I don't know if she even wants to be mine. "I love you" I whisper back, when all I can think of is how I'm going to tell her.

I search for words in my hollow mind, creating a speech in my head to tell her. After a second of confirming my words, I say "y/n?" All I hear is a gentle breath leaving her mouth, and re entering. She doesn't respond.

She's asleep. I sad smile, and just try to fall asleep myself. Though it's hard with the thought of her rejecting me surrounding my brain.