Wish my Reflection Can Tell me Who I Am..

Chapter 40

It wasn't a joke after all.

That night during our dinner, the hokage had said congratulate us as the usual me who didn't said anything because I don't like repeating myself, that Kyousuke and Hiro gave me the looks to say something.

Still, I didn't said anything and ignored the looks they're giving me.

The hokage that giving me the looks that she was angered by my silent treatment, again, but sighed it anyway for remembering table manners. Then from her own mouth, she says that we'll be coming to the medical mission the day after tomorrow that we shouldn't worry because Sakura and Ino will be with us.

And the medical mission was on the orphanage. It's the year where they conduct their annual medical check up that I had went into one when I was still living there.

I don't know whether I should keep smiling or stop it to not to offend anyone.

Well, I just thought that if I'd look arrogant and flexing my luck as I proudly wore my headband in my waist as a waistband like I was doing it on purpose. What's worst is that I am only familiar with their faces since I didn't bothered to know their names.

It'll be rude to ask, since it's just a year had passed.
Why am I so selfish in the first place. (╯︵╰,)

Familiar girls and boys alike, showing me their art and wanted my opinion about it that I don't know what exactly to say but leave a "wow," "beautiful," nice comments that you can name, that I already noticed myself that I'm being plastic.

Maybe I am a natural evil and I just tried to dress as an angel that a human needs. (╥_╥)

These half-assed feelings was an enough reason not to come with them, but I don't have a choice, don't I?

Kyousuke seemed to enjoy the first mission that you can tell by looking at him with the other children, he's already friends with them. I don't know about Hiro since he was awfully quiet the entire time and can't even flash a smile to anyone.

I wasn't supposed to leave the group, it's a rule, and I also don't feel like informing them that I'll go somewhere for a bit, but I need air to breathe. Staying here was enough for me to mentally die in suffocation.

I didn't exactly leave the area, but went to watch the entire area from staying on a tree like I was playing lookout.

I was already far from the entrance door of the orphanage, but I still don't feel right.

I think, I'm sick and I just don't know it. (×﹏×)

"Why are you here?" I heard from behind me that I my mind already had a guess who might be it. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. "The mission was still on going," he says with awfully a straight face that was nothing compared to the face expressions and aura he had been showing to us.

He might be annoying, but his presence was welcoming that all he did to us will leave an impression that he's just playing prank at us on day one.

Yes, the person who just talked to me is our team's jounin who'll look out for us, Keisuke Akashi.

But I thought he didn't come with us because he was assigned to a different mission that we're told that we shouldn't worry about it because Sakura and Ino will be with us.

I gave him a defeated look to give him the authority and rights to scold me and returned my eyes towards the direction of the orphanage that all we can see from here was the roof painted in blue hue.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked that I let out a sigh.

"I hope I am okay," I said.

A second later, a tap of his sandal was heard just beside me, and a split second he was already sitting beside me.

"You're not sick, are you?" He asked, leaning closer that I had to lean to the opposite side to avoid him.

"I just don't feel well, but not really sick," I tried to answer.

"Let met guess, you're not feeling well, but you know you're not sick."

"Not exactly, but that kind of rubbing the shell of it."

"You're lovesick."

"What kind of lazy diagnosis is that, you quack!" Instinctively pushing him away.

"Calm down, I was only trying to make you smile at least," he says, holding his hands to protect himself from me.

"You're ruining my mood instead, sensei," I said with a heavy punctuation on my honorific for him to imply that it's intended for sarcasm. "By the way, why are you here? I thought you're out on a mission," I said, but instead of answering me, his smiling face turned expressionless again and stared back to the direction of the orphanage.

And because he seemed to leave that question unanswered, I leave it that way too. He doesn't need to answer if he didn't feel like it. There's no point of forcing him to answer. Besides, it's kind of disrespectful to do that.

"This place hold a lot of memory, isn't it?" He asked, before inhaling the warm summer breeze that blew to our direction.

"Somehow, it did," I answered that I snapped out from being absentminded, "You also had been here before?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

"Yeah, I was orphaned too after.... actually I don't know. I don't have a lot of memories about my family, I even forgot how they looked like. But I to remember traveling from place to place and hiding if ever there was people, like rats on the streets."

"That's quite harsh, but I do understand," I said as flashbacks of my past took me back to what had been my life before I went to the orphanage . "But instead of a rat, I'm kind of like a cat or dog, I interact with people and hope they'll reach their hand to me."

"It's a bitter past, but it's been part of what we are," he says as he chuckled a little bit.

Maybe that's the reason why I'm striving to work harder? I don't know.

"Before I moved to konoha, I was already in my early teens. Unlike you, I spend more of my childhood here," he says. He's quite happy on telling his story that I am a bit curious about it.

"Did you get adopted too?" I asked.

"No," he answered that he fell silent after that. His faint smile says a lot that I shouldn't ask about it any further.

It could be possible that he was adopted, but doesn't feel like he had a family. He was taken in, just because he looks like an interesting material that they can benefit in the present and probably in future.

Who knows?

Every shinobi was a tool.

Different qualities. Different usages.

It depends on the tool on how they sharpen themselves and the performance will say a lot then they'll get classified through ranks.

But no matter what rank you are standing in, it's still an another pawn for the sake of the village.

"I don't think I was adopted either."

"What?" His curious deep brown orbs turned to my direction that before we can stare at each other's eyes, I changed where to look at to avoid it.

"Nothing," I responded.

Like I said, I was selfish.

Up until now, I still move according to what was planned.

If there has to be a price, then so be it.

I won't stop sharpening my own kind of tool no matter how long it had to take and how many there is to sacrifice.

I had a goal of my own, and I had to achieve it no matter what.