Dance For Me

Chapter 18

Camila's POV

As much as I lacked in sexual experience, I'd more than read my fare share of erotic sensual books, I loved to admire the act of passionate sex through the eyes of others in aims to understand what it really meant to touch another body.. I thought I had it figured out, patterns and trends that were needed in order to make someone feel good but I hadn't?

When Lauren touched and caressed my skin I felt this sensation impossible to write in words.. even with the books I felt majorly oblivious! She sent shivers into my spine and heat into my stomach.. when she kissed my neck with those soft unique lips my mind buzzed like a star shining within the pitch black sky..

I was angry earlier in the office.. so angry I had even pushed her, hurt her! My mind was blank and my body sweaty but then she touched me.. ignored my rage and pressed her fingertips into my frustrated hips.. she'd made that anger disappear? It scared me in all honesty, when I was angry I felt something.. for her to make it fly away left me only feeling out of control?

"There's my favourite dancer! Congratulations baby?"

A long awaited voice spoke as I stood from a creaky coffee shop chair to greet a familiar face I'd had in my life since before I could even remember.. with a free hours lunch I'd called the tall Latin woman to meet me in hopes for a talk I hadn't yet even planned..

"Thanks! I didn't think you'd come.. I know you're super busy with all of those other kids right now.."

I giggled nervously

"Sweetheart you know I'm never too busy for you! Like I've said before.. no matter how old you grow to be you can always count on me! Rain or shine!"

She reassured sitting opposite me with a swift place down of her expensive bag I'd always looked at with a fond eye.. she always had pretty possessions.. tall heels and dainty bracelets I'd stare at for hours while she'd pick apart my reluctant brain in conversation

"So tell me.. have you made any new friends? How is Samuel.. I hear he's doing well?"

"Oh.. well.. me and Sam kind of argued! He got the place before I did and I just-

"Lost it.."

She smiled reassuringly already knowing of what I had wanted to say.. she'd always been good at that! I nod back awkwardly dancing my fingers over the table in front hoping not to disappoint her with the progress I should have already made..

"When we pour our hearts into something it can hurt when someone else gains it without even lifting a finger.. I understand your frustration Camila! Now if I know you as well as I think I do.. I'm going to guess you haven't yet resolved this little argument?"

"No.. I want too but.. I can't! I cry like every night because I just want to hug him but when I'm in front of him I just push him away and hurt his feelings.."

I laughed nervously hating how my behaviour sounded out loud.. I wasn't afraid to be honest in front of her however.. she'd forced it from me since before I could remember as my life hadn't exactly been a walk in the park, it was her job to be interested in me.. I guess now it was a force of habit

"It's normal to shut down Camila.. it's a defence mechanism we use to stop ourselves from feeling pain! Showing aggression and retraction in our words it just hides the fact we're afraid.. what are you afraid of?"

I glanced down into the table sucking in a breath not entirely sure.. I loved Sam with all of my heart, he'd been in my world for years and never failed to be on side? Just now it felt different.. like he was an enemy my brain had created for a reason owns yet to understand