[Sofias POV]
"Okay.." I said.
I took a deep breath before I started talking.
"Papa had gotten a lot worse with his disorder, he-he would g-get really mad at me a-and" I stopped as I felt tears falling down my cheeks again.
"It's okay, your doing great sofi" Carina said.
"He would yell at me and threaten me, one time he tied me to t-the kitchen chair and h-he cut m-my hair off because he was really mad at me. H-he started drinking so sometimes when I came home from school he would tell me how useless I am. He didn't want me anymore, he just wanted to see me hurt. I-I'm so s-scared" I said.
Carina looked at me with teary eyes, she sat down next to me hugging my side.
"He won't ever lay a hand on you again okay? I promise you, I will protect you" Carina said.
I looked over at Maya and she gave me a sympathetic smile. "Listen, I know you don't know me and I don't know you that well either only what Carina has told me, I just want you to know that you can always come talk to me too. Your Carinas sister which makes you my family too" Maya said with a smile.
I let out a sob. "I hate it" I said.
"What are you referring to?" Carina asked.
"E-very time I t-think about this it makes me feel sick and m-my chest tightens and I can't b-breath. When I wake up in the middle of the night I can smell his beer bottles and I get the suffocating feeling again as when he poured the beer over me" I said.
"That's the anxiety" Maya said.
"W-when he chopped off my hair it felt like-like he took something from me, he-he made me feel unworthy a-and he made me feel like I was his toy that he could do whatever he wanted with. L-like I didn't have an own choice anymore" I said.
"I'm so sorry bambina, I will be here for you everyday from now on. Ti amo" Carina said.
"You wanna know something about me?" Maya asked.
I nodded and looked at her.
"When I was in your age my father would push me really hard only for me to win, it wasn't in a good way. He would take away my personal things and also food. One time when I was older my dad pulled my hair when I stood up for my opinion. You wanna know what I did?" She asked.
"Yeah" I said.
"I cut it off, it made me feel better about myself. It made me feel like I'm a little more of myself. And carina here has helped me incredibly much. What my point is here Sofia is that you will alway have your own choice and you don't need someone else deciding for you okay?" Maya said.
"Okay" I said. "Dad took away my food sometimes too" I mumbled.
"That won't ever happen here okay? Never" Carina said.
I nodded and rested my head against Carinas shoulder.
"I really m-missed you" I said
"I missed you too Bella" she said.
I must've fallen asleep on Carina because the next thing I know is that I'm laying down on the warm comfortable bed. All the feelings from earlier today starts coming back. My brain is overwhelmed by all the emotions, sadness fear anger all the feelings at once. And I can't shut it down.
I pulled of the blanket that I had around my body and made my way out of the room. I walked in to the bathroom without locking it or even closing the door I quickly took of my clothes and put on the shower.
Standing there under the warm water that almost burnt against my skin made me calmer, my breathing slowed down and I closed my eyes.
I don't know what's going to happen to me, I mean I have Carina but I don't know if she wants me to find another home to stay at. She has a relationship with Maya so non of them have responsibilities over me.
"Hey are you alright in there?" Carina asked.
"Yeah I'm good" I said.
I sighed as I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around me.
I remembered I don't have anymore clothes.
"Carina?" I asked.
"Yea?" She said.
"Can I borrow some of your clothes? I don't have any" I said.
"Yeah sure, we can probably get you some new clothes tomorrow or something" she said
I nodded and walked back in to my room, I put on the clothes that were a little bit too big on me but it doesn't matter anyway. When I had gotten dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt I walked out to the kitchen where Carina was cooking dinner and Maya was doing the dishes.
"I need to ask you something Sof" Carina said.
"Okay? What is it" I asked.
"Would it be okay if you came to the station with Maya tomorrow? Our friends at the station are really nice" she said.
Nervously I looked up at Maya and she flashed me a smile, not a fake one it seemed like a genuine smile.
"Ehm I guess but I don't want to be in the way of your work Maya" I said.
"You won't be, you can hang out in my office if you want to. The others at the station will love you, especially Andy" she said.
"Okay I'll come with you" I said.
When the dinner was cooked we sat down by the table together, silence was filled in the room.
"So don't be mad at me Sof but I booked an appointment with a therapist for you" Carina said.
"No" I said.
"Come on Bambina you need to talk to someone about it, there's only so much I can do for you. A professional can help you in other ways that I can't" she said.
"I don't like it" I mumbled.
"I can come with you, I don't like therapists either so how about I come with you? Would that make you feel better?" Maya asked.
"Okay" I said.
"Good" Carina said.
"I'd rather not speak to a male" I said and looked down.
"I've already let them know about that, you'll talk to a female therapist" Carina said with a smile.
"Thank you" I said.
