(Trigger warning)
Sofia stares paralyzed down at her thigh, the shiny object in her trembly hand falling to the floor. It was gushing blood, the red liquid falling to the floor, dirtying it and staining her hands.
She makes no move to reach for something to stop it. She makes no move to call for help either. She just watches, her whole body shaking with fear.
The emotional pain and physical pain she was feeling in this exact moment made her brain feel foggy. It was all too much.
Dizziness started creeping up on her, bringing her out of her thoughts. She leaned over to grab the towel that had fallen down to the cold floor. Pressing it against the wounds on her thighs, she winced in pain. Her eyes filled with salty tears, they continued to drip down her cheeks and neck.
Her mind was once again filled with the dark and heavy thoughts she tried so hard to fight against.
She released the grip she had on the towel she pressed against her thigh, pulling her sweatpants back up so she could get out of the bathroom without making anyone suspicious.
She put the blade in the smaller bin, covering it with paper so it wouldn't be noticeable.
Tears filled up her eyes again once she had realized what she just did. She was so disappointed in herself. She quickly wiped the tears away before opening the door and making her way to her brother's room.
[Sofia's POV]
I had agreed on taking care of Enzo while Maya and Carina were at work so I had just let him play for a while in his room. When I saw him sitting in the floor playing with his cars I smiled.
"Hey bubbas"
"Sissy" he cheered, reaching for me.
I picked him up and placed him on my lap.
"When is mommies coming home?" He asked nervously, playing with the bracelet around my wrist.
This was one of the first times they had left him alone here at home with me and I could tell he was a little bit nervous. He trust us but I think he has some kind of anxiety when it comes to Maya and Carina not being around him, which is understandable.
"They will be home soon, I promise" I reassured him.
He nodded, laying his head on my chest and relaxed.
"Hey, let's nap in my bed instead it's way more comfy" I said, already getting up from the floor with Enzo in my arms before I made my way to my room where we could get comfortable.
"Here, look" I handed him his teddy bear and his blanket, letting him lay close next to me so he would fall asleep.
It barely took about ten minutes before his eyes closed and he was asleep. I was also beginning to doze off but was awakened by the sound of my phone. I looked down and saw a message from Josie. We had become friends just a short period of time after I met Logan, the three of us had been spending a lot of time together along with Ben, Logan's other friend, although I didn't like him that much since he was always so full of himself.
I answered the text and not long after I heard the door apartment door open so I gently got out of the grip Enzo had on me before I made my way over to Carina and Maya.
"He's asleep in my room" I let them know, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.
"Okay, thank you Sofia for watching him" Maya thanked me.
"It was no problem" I mumbled.
"Do you want to watch a movie with us? We were thinking of watching the new marvel movie" Carina suggested. Sounding quite excited.
"Sure, we can do that" I nodded.
I went to change in to more comfortable clothes, wincing in pain once I accidentally brushed my hand against the wounds form earlier. I noticed it had started to get a little red on the skin around the wounds so I tried to clean it up the best I could before putting on a pair of sweatpants along with a hoodie.
After getting changed I went to the living room where Maya and Carina were already sat, waiting for me. I sat down next to Carina, leaning against her shoulder slightly as the movie started.
It didn't take long before Enzo woke up, joining us on the couch where he made himself comfortable on Maya's lap. I watched as Maya instantly smiled when he cuddled closer to her.
I sighed quietly, moving away from Carina.
"I'm just going to the bathroom" I announced, pushing the blanket off of me then making my way to my room instead.
Noticing my anxiety acting up so I started taking deep breaths, closing my eyes so I didn't get distracted.
I had been feeling like this for quite a while now, a heavy feeling on my chest and I just couldn't shake it off.
I couldn't talk to my sister because she has Maya and Enzo now, a family. She has a child. I didn't want to ruin the perfect bubble they were in right now.
But at the same time I wished that I could feel like I belonged somewhere.
Like I was a part of something and that I was needed.
I was brought back from my thoughts by Carina knocking on my door, opening it.
"Ciao, is everything okay?" She asked gently, joining me on the bed.
"Yeah, I was just starting to get a headache so I wanted to rest for a little bit" I lied.
"You can rest on the couch if you want, or would you rather be alone?"
"I think I will just go to sleep if that's okay, I'm sorry for not finishing the movie with you guys" I apologized.
"It's okay Sof, come get me if you need anything or if the headache gets worse okay?" She asked.
"Sì, Goodnight" I gave her a hug before she left my room and went back to watch the movie with Maya and Enzo.
A/N
So the story is back!
The updates will be slow righty now since I have a lot going on in school but I will update as often as I can.
Please leave any suggestions or if you have anything you would like to see, I am open to anything really and I think it will be great if you guys get to decided some things in this book as well.
Hope you liked it.
