[Sofia's POV]
As I sat in the backseat of Mayas car while she were driving Carina and I to the hospital I noticed I forgot to change out of my sweatpants.
I sighed and rested my head against the window.
It was still dark outside, rain pouring down outside.
Most of the people don't like the rain but I like it, it makes me feel calm?
I like the sound of it, the rain tapping on the car, looking at all the raindrops running down the window of the car.
It makes me think of when Andrea Carina and I would have a competition about the raindrops. You would choose one raindrop and whichever's raindrop reached the bottom of the window first would win.
Of course Andrea always won.
The memory made me smile. I still don't think I'm used to the idea of it only being Carina and I left. I'm used to it being Andrea Carina and I not just the two of us.
Not that I don't love Carina like I loved Andrea, it's just that you always have a special bond to your brother. He would always be so protective, he would always question me everyday when I came back home from school to make sure no one were mean to me.
And when dad would have his bad days he would take me out for ice cream.
Carina and I had a just as special bond, just in a different way. We would braid each other's hair and watch movies together. She would make sure I was happy at home and at school, if I had a bad day at school she would cheer me up. She was there for me all the time when our mother passed away, Andrea had already moved here when she died so it was only Carina and I over there.
She would let me sleep in her bed, we would cry together and visit her grave.
We would also laugh at certain memories we have from our mother.
I was snapped out of my thought when Maya had stoped in the parking lot.
"Ready?" Carina asked me.
"Yes" I said.
As I hoped out of the car I saw Maya doing the same thing. Which confused me because she was going to the station.
"Are you coming too?" I asked.
"I'm sorry bambina but this was the only way I would've got you to the hospital, your therapist appointment is today in about twenty minutes" she said.
"Seriously? You lied?" I said.
"You wouldn't have followed me here if I didn't" she said.
"So after everything I told you and how I didn't feel like I got to have an opinion on anything that happens in my life you decide that it's the best thing to lie, really?" I said slightly hurt and frustrated.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just want you to get help" she said.
"But I'm not broken! Non sono più una ragazza senza speranza!" I raised my voice.
Carina walked closer to me but I backed away.
"Your not a hopeless girl, I've never seen you like that either" Carina said calmly.
"But you do! Non posso prenderlo" I said almost whispering the last part.
"I know, I know your tired but I'm here now okay? You don't have to keep your guard up for me, it's okay to let people in. Like old times you know, you used to tell me everything" she said.
"I-I'm sorry" I said and looked away.
"It's okay, but you gotta let yourself have emotions or it will only turn in to anger. I know that it's hard for you to let me in again after everything that happen but at least give it a try" she said.
"I-I don't want to be like papà" I said.
"You won't be like him, I promise" she said.
As I looked at the ground I felt Carina grab my hand which made me flinch away at first, I took her hand in mine after the little step back.
"Lei pensa che io sia pazzo?" I asked Carina.
"No she doesn't, Maya is not someone who will judge you" Carina said.
"Carina is right, I won't judge you that's why you can trust me that I won't tell anyone what you say in the therapists office" Maya said.
"Okay" I said.
"Ready to go inside?" Carina asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry for getting angry at you" I said.
"It's okay, don't worry about it" she said.
But that's all I'm gonna do, worry worry and worry.
Because that's who I am. I worry about school and work and other people's opinions, so of course I'm going to worry about having hurt Carina.
I would completely understand it if she said I had to go back home again after what I did, I can't just snap at someone and expect them to be understanding.
Show respect always, that's what my dad thought me. No matter how mean or ungrateful the person I'm speaking to I will always show respect towards them.
It's like he wanted me to say thank you if someone slapped me across my face.
I would probably do it because he brainwashed me so badly, and when my dad tells you something you do not want to disobey him.
I did that once and I'm never doing that again.
I wonder what kind of questions the therapist is going to ask me, is she nice or is she going to be angry. I wouldn't want her to be angry because I would feel really uncomfortable with talking to her. Maybe it's a bad choice to let Maya stay with me? I mean what if she tells Carina what I said in the office? But she said she wouldn't. But can I really trust that?
All these thoughts running thru my brain is stressing me out, so once again I'm back to picking on my nails. This time not so gently tho, I could tell my the red marks and a tiny drip of blood forming. It didn't hurt tho so it didn't matter.
I hid my hand away before Maya could see tho, I wouldn't want her to tell Carina. It's like a comfort thing for me to pick on my nails, so is playing with the end of my sleeves, it keeps me occupied and I have somewhere to keep my hands.
I couldn't have my comfort thing taken away from me.
A woman walked towards me and Maya.
"Sofia Deluca?" She said.
