[Sofia's POV]
"Can you tell me what your feeling right now?" Hannah asked.
"You know what, I'm really tired right now can we just do this another time" I said.
"Sorry but no"
"What makes you push your feelings aside?" She asked.
The question took me by surprise so I looked up at her.
"I know that your not fine Sofia, your pushing your feelings aside and it's not good" she said.
"It makes me feel good" I said.
"No it doesn't, you keep telling yourself that you need to do that but you really don't" she said.
"You don't know anything about me and what's good for me" I snapped.
"I do know that no one feels good about keeping everything bottled up inside" she said.
"You wanna know why? You really want to know why I'm doing that?" I asked irritated.
"Yes I do" she said calmly.
"I'm tired I'm so god damn tired of everything, I told Andrea about my feelings and I felt safe with him he was going to help me but then he died"
"Same thing with my mother, she died way too early and if she would've been here papa hadn't acted like this because she could have him under control"
"And I'm not about to be a burden for Carina and Maya with my feelings everyday, they have a beautiful relationship and I'm not ruining that because your telling me I need to feel my feelings"
"I'm so pissed that everyone thinks they know what's best for me, I'm my own god damn person and I decide what's best for me"
"I-I can't trust anyone anymore, I just can't. I'm tired of trusting people that die or leave me in one way or another, so tired" I said.
"Why do you feel like you can't trust anyone?" Hannah asked.
"Because I will end up getting hurt" I sighed.
"So your scared of getting hurt?" She asked.
"Not getting hurt, I'm scared of people leaving me. I don't like being alone" I mumbled.
"Do you feel safe with Maya and Carina?" She asked.
"Yes" I stated.
"Would you mind talking about your relationship with your brother?" She asked.
"Yea I do actually" I said.
"Okay when your mother was still alive, do you remember how you felt? Did you show your emotions then?" She asked.
"Yes but mostly to Carina and Andrea" I said.
"So you've never had a good relationship with your father?" She asked.
"No I wouldn't say that, I've always been closer to my siblings" I answered.
"Okay, let's go back to where you said you don't like being alone"
"Is it the fact that your alone that scares you or is it the fact that people are leaving you" she asked.
"People leaving" I said.
"And that's what makes it hard for you to trust people" she said.
"Yes" I said.
"What about school? Do you go there?" She asked.
"No" I said.
"Would you like to start?" She asked.
"No" I said again.
"Can we make a deal for next time we see each other?" Hannah asked.
"Sure" I said.
"I want you to try trusting Maya and Carina more, it can be small things like letting them braid your hair or cooking dinner with them, just small things that you do with them" she said.
"That feels safe" I said.
"It is safe, no one is going to hurt you anymore Sofia. You need to let people in" she said.
"It's not that easy" I said.
"I know that's why we're starting this with Maya and Carina, people you already know. Later on we might go over to people at Maya or Carina's work" she said.
"Okay, see you next time" I said.
"See you next time, I'll inform Carina and Maya about our deal" she said as I left.
I walked out of her office, Carina was sitting on one of the chairs outside looking at her phone.
"Hey, how did it go?" She asked.
"Good" I said.
"Well let's go home, I want to talk about something with you" she said.
When we got home again we sat down by the couch.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.
"School, I would like it if you started school here" she said.
"Do I really have too?" I asked.
"Yes you have to" she said.
"But I'll just be like the last school, I don't like it" I said.
"Maybe it won't be like last time, and if they are mean to you just tell Maya and I so we can help you okay?" She said.
"Okay" I said.
I walked to the bathroom to take a shower, I started thinking of what could happen if I started school.
People have always made fun of my accent every time I've been here, I have to repeat myself multiple times.
But maybe it won't be so bad this time.
I stepped out of the shower and put on my sweatpants and a t-shirt. I wrapped the towel around my hair so it could dry, I grabbed my book and sat down by the couch while Carina started dinner.
"I got Hannah's Email" she said simply.
"Okay" I said.
"Maybe Maya you and I can do something together, like go for a walk or anything you would be comfortable with?" She said with a smile.
"Mmhm sure, is this weird for you?" I asked.
"No it's not, I get why your feeling like this I mean I was absent from your life for a long time since you were like eleven, I moved here and we only talked over the phone I didn't know what was going on with you so I get why your having a hard time letting people in especially me" she said and looked a little disappointed.
My heart sank as she looked down, I made her upset.
"I-I'm sorry" I said and I could feel the tears building up.
"For what Bambina?" She asked.
"I'm-I'm sorry I disappointed you" I said and took of to the guest room and locked the door.
