[Sofia's POV]
It's Tuesday and Sadly I'm sitting here waiting for my therapist appointment once again, I'm getting a little bit tired of this because it feels like it's not making any difference in my well being.
"Sofia please come on in" Hannah said.
I took a seat on the same couch in the same please exactly like the last times. I grabbed the fidget object and held it in my hands for comfort.
"So, I would like to try something new with you today"
"I will ask you questions and if you feel like your comfortable with answering them you say green than answer the question, if you feel a little bit hesitant you say yellow than try explaining why you feel uncomfortable and lastly you say red if your really uncomfortable and don't want to tell me why"
"Does that feel okay?" Hannah asked me.
"I guess so" I said.
"Okay let's start of easy, what's your favorite movie?"
"Green, Deadpool" I answered.
"Name one thing that you use or consume everyday"
"Green, Coffee" I said.
This was going great, I feel like I can do this.
"Do you feel comfortable with Carina and Maya?"
"Green, yes" I said.
"How do you feel that they are getting married and fostering a child?"
"Green, I feel really happy for them" I said.
"Do you trust yourself?" She asked.
Her question took me a little by surprise since it had all been easy questions.
"Yellow" I said finally.
She wrote something down on her note pad.
"What makes you hesitate by this question?"
"I don't know if I can trust you" I said.
"Why wouldn't you be able to trust me?"
"You'll tell Maya and Carina" I said simply.
"The only two reasons I would have to tell them is if your a harm to someone or a harm to yourself, other than that I will never tell them" she said.
"Okay, well no I don't trust myself. At least not all the time" I said.
"Thank you for sharing that with me, you should be proud of yourself" she said and smiled.
"Have you ever talked to a therapist about your mothers death?"
"Green, no" I said.
"Can you say three things you miss about your mother?"
I thought for a moment, it's just three things.
"Uhm so-" I said.
"The color first please" she cut me off with.
"Yellow, I miss when she would read bedtime stories before I went to sleep and she would always rub my back as I fell asleep, another thing is her voice, I really miss her voice just to hear her talk about anything would make me smile and I really miss that"
I felt my eyes getting warm and teary.
"A-and I-I remember her touch, her hugs and I miss whenever I would be sad she would always hug me" I said and started crying.
She sat there watching me cry with sympathy in her eyes which just made me cry even more because I hate when people pity me.
I started scratching my wrists to release some of the uncomfortable feelings that just bubbles up inside me.
