~❤️~Always Better Together~❤️~

~ 21 ~

DEREK'S P.O.V.

As soon as I got into my car and drove out of the campus, my mind began replaying what just happened. I was having mixed feelings about that thing. See, I am not even able to say it out loud.

GOD!!!

How on earth could I let that happen ?????????? Why didn't I stop it ??????? What is she going to think about all this?????? How am I going to fix this situation??????

I was deep down in my messy thoughts that I didn't realise I was at a traffic signal that was now green. The cars behind me were honking like hungry dogs.

My reverie broke and I started driving again after pulling myself together. I was dying to get home and take a never ending shower. It took me another ten minutes to reach my apartment.

I unlocked the main door and got inside locking it behind me.

In no time, I was dripping wet in the shower, hot water dripping down my skin trying to release all the stress but failing clearly.

I closed my eyes trying to calm myself but all that came into vision was the kiss that we shared. I opened my eyes immediately and turned off the shower.

My so called stress buster time was done.

__________________________

Half an hour later

Derek was on his desk sitting, with a small silver notebook opened wide in front and a black pen in his hand. His eyes were closed as if he was in a deep thought. Few moments later, he started writing.

~~JOURNAL ENTRY STARTS~~

DATED - 08/11/2020

Dear Diary!!!!

You won't believe what I did today. Huhh!! How will you believe it if I still have to come to terms with what I did. I should have stopped it at any cost. It shouldn't have happened at all. Hell why did I go to her room. It was totally unnecessary. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Derek took a pause from writing and leaned back into the chair. He closed his eyes and took multiple deep breaths. Then he pressed his lips together into a thin line and resumed writing again.

So something kind of intimate happened between me and the first year girl. I went to her room because I was desperate to see her and she started all the questions and allegations and I despite of trying to be cool about it, lost my cool and shouts happened and she came closer and closer and closer until she kissed me and I revelled in it. I fucking revelled in it. So this is what happened. And the stupidest part is that I liked it. I liked the fact that she kissed me and the fact that this happened. I am so stressed right now. I don't know what to think, what to say and what to feel. How will I face her now?? What will she make of this??

And I also ran away after we broke our first legit kiss. I ran away. I don't know what came over me. I was in a state of very high emotions. Yeah, I haven't kissed anyone since Jenna. She was my first and last until today. And the most surprising thing is that I didn't not like it. I didn't feel that I was cheating on Jenna. I didn't feel guilty. All that I felt is magic, if that makes sense. I barely know her but I feel so connected.

I was so devastated when I saw her all high and tipsy in the freshers' party. If Alex wasn't my step brother and there weren't some family rules, I would have beaten the hell outta him. She looked so vulnerable and weak but I know she isn't either. The stunt she pulled with Liam on Alex's car was so entertaining. Alex looked like an angry beast when his car didn't flow like butter as he always calls it. Yeah, it took some effort to stop him from finding out the culprit but seeing him like that was treat to my eyes.