I Die Often Hank

Chapter 76: Bars, Boulders, and Bears

Crimson's POV:

"Well, that doesn't exactly look like a school," I spoke looking at the building in front of us. 

"This is where the paper said he is," Alex replied walking toward the door. 

Alex held the door open and we walked inside. This is definitely not a school. The place was dimly lit and overall rough around the edges bar. The patrons themselves seemed dangerous and most of them were obviously armed. I shoved my fears deep down and approached the bar. The bartender was probably the cleanest looking person in the place, with brown hair, rough stubble, and some thick round glasses. 

"You guys lost or something?" The bartender asked. 

"No, we're looking for someone," Alex answered. 

"You're looking for someone here? Well shit while you're out you might wanna look at caskets," The bartender replied. 

"Something tells me I'll be alright," I replied with a cocky tone. 

"Listen uh-" Alex started. 

"Weasel," The bartender answered. 

"Weasel, do you know where we can find Wade Wilson?" Alex questioned. 

"Nope, it's not my business to-" Weasel is cut off by the phone behind him ringing. He quickly turns and grabs the phone, holding it up to his ear. "Wade? What do you mean- well how in the hell did you- fine, fine. I'll find a dumbass to- actually I've got two," Weasel spoke before hanging up the phone. Weasel grabbed a pen and scribbled something onto a napkin and handed it to Alex. "You want to see Wade, go there and help him out," Weasel spoke before walking away to serve someone. Alex and I exchanged a look and then headed off to the location. 

Thirty Minutes Later

I stopped the car and we looked around. We were on a highway in the middle of the woods. No Wade as far as I can see. We got out of the car and I walked to the edge of the road and looked around. 

"Are you the dumbass?" Wade, I assume, yelled. 

I looked down towards where the yell came from and saw a man pinned underneath a comically large and round boulder. I waved Alex over and we carefully walked down to where Wade was pinned. 

"Are you okay? Do you feel any pain?" Alex asked somewhat concerned. 

"No, no I'm fine. I'm just an example of what would happen if Indiana Jones had tripped," Wade joked. 

"You know while I've got you here, you know captive audience and all. I was wondering if you'd ever heard of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters?" I spoke kneeling down and placing a school pamphlet in Wade's hand. 

"Are you seriously doing this right now?" Wade asked. 

"No-" Alex started to say. 

"Yes, Professor Xavier has noticed your... you've been invited to join the best mutant school," I spoke. 

"If I take the pamphlet will you get this boulder off me?" Wade asked. 

"Fine," I replied. Wade grabbed the pamphlet and Alex used his power to break the boulder into several pieces. Wade pulled himself up from the ground. 

"Who are you, people?" Wade questioned looking between us. 

"I'm Alex," Alex responded. 

"You don't have to say it like we're at an AA meeting," Wade teased.

"I'm Crimson," I added. 

"Wait, I've heard of you-" Wade spoke.

Oh shit. That's not good. That sentence has never gotten us anywhere good. 

"-'re Wolvie's sister!" Wade added excitedly. 

Before I could think of how to respond to that a large deep roar echoed through the woods coming from the road. 

"Is that a-" I started to ask.

"A bear attacking our car? Yes, yes it is," Alex spoke his face turning pale. 

The bear suddenly turned and looked at the three of us. Wade flipped it off. The bear clearly offended starting charging toward us. We all took off running.

"Why are we running? Bears can run over thirty miles an hour!" Alex yelled. 

"Why are you a fucking nerd?" Wade asked.

"Do you have a better idea?" I questioned. 

"I do, I say we sacrifice pretty boy!" Wade answered. 

"Hey, I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!" Alex yelled back. 

"That's pretty big talk for the only one who can feel pain," I joked. 

We ran onto a road and a truck barely scratched to a halt mere inches away from us. We quickly hopped into the bed of the truck and yelled at the driver at drive. Thankfully he obliged. 

A Few Days Later

Alex and I stood in the airport and opened up our envelopes. 

"Where are you going?" I asked. 

"Talkeetna, Alaska. You?" Alex spoke. 

"Las Vegas, Nevada"

Author's Note:

And then there was Wade. 

Ahh, Las Vegas, the city that doesn't understand a healthy sleep schedule or really a healthy anything. 

Who else will be there??

Fun fact the google doc where I keep my backup version of this book became too large to function. I crashed google docs and it literally wouldn't let me change anything. So I had to split it into two docs. 

Side note we are ever so close to 100k words!

Better fun fact Talkeetna Alaska had a cat as its mayor.