To have and to loathe

• 𝐂hapter 16

    Scott poured me a glass of vitamin water and handed it to me.

       "How'd you sleep?" He asked.

     I propped my elbows on the kitchen counter and took a large gulp. "I feel sick."

    He smiled. "I'm sorry, baby. Is that what you go through every day, the vomiting thing?"

    I sighed and took another chug at my water. "That's just half of it."

    He pulled out the chair next to me and sat. "Don't you think it's best to skip the charity event if you don't feel good? You need to be resting full time."

     I shook my head. "It's fine. I can manage."

        "You're still adamant about telling mum about your wedding tonight, aren't you?"

    A sinking feeling weighed heavily in my belly. I sighed a little. It'd been almost a week since we last saw or spoke to each other. I felt like the worse daughter on planet earth. 

    "It's the only chance I'll get and sooner or later, she's going to see it somewhere."

    He nodded. "That's true but just try as much as possible to stay away from Killian, I don't like him around you."

   His face had gone rigid again. "Why do you hate him so much?"

       "That's a pretty long story." He looked away. "One I'm not willing to tell. But my point is, he's not worthy of you. You're too kind for him. He is an insensitive asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself."

       "Don't worry. I'll be fine, I can totally handle him." I honestly hope I could. After that kiss yesterday, I was starting to rethink a lot of things.

    "We might not share the same father but I care for you, Hope, you're my little sister and I want what's best for you."

     I smiled. "I know you do."

      "Yes I do and I know you don't love Killian, you're marrying him because you feel you need to, you feel you owe it to this baby, which is wrong because you don't. But If you're really going to go through with this, you both need to figure out your shit before your child is born because things just get complicated from there and I wouldn't want my niece—"

       "Or nephew," I added with a meek chuckle.

    He smiled. "I wouldn't want my niece or nephew to witness how miserable both of you would make each other."

    I reached out to place my hands on his. I wished I could come clean and tell him about our bizarre arrangement but I couldn't. I knew he would react and most likely force me into calling it off. I had to do this on my own. On my own. The way I've always been.