To have and to loathe

• 𝐂hapter 22

"I love when a woman knows what she wants." Killian moaned, his hand sliding down my face, my throat, my neck, and my shoulders. "It drives me crazy." He gripped the hem of the towel on my chest and ripped it away, leaving me utterly naked once more.

I bit my lip. His eyes darkened with desire, caressing my body as though he wanted to devour me. It made me smolder.

"Have you cum yet?"

I felt a rush of heat between my legs at his question. "W-Why are you asking?"

His eyes tore away from my body and found mine. "Answer my question. Have you cum yet?"

"Yes." I sucked on my lip. "I have."

"Good. You're going to make yourself cum again and I'm going to watch you do it."

A perverse thrill shot through me. I shivered. "You want to watch me touch myself?"

"Yes Hope, I want to watch you pleasure yourself properly." He leaned down and wrapped his hand softly around my throat. "You'll do it, won't you?"

I pressed my lips together, too anxious to speak. I admit the idea was scorching hot in my head but I wasn't sure if I was bold enough to let another man watch me masturbate.

He noticed my hesitation. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to, Hope. Say the word and I'll let you be. I'll leave. Do you want me to leave?"

Did I?

Letting him stay would be a wild and reckless decision, but letting him go would be worse and I wasn't sure I could live with that thought. He was the only one who could manage the ache between my thighs; the ache he'd put there, so fuck it. If anyone was going to cure me, it was him.

I shook my head. "No."

He didn't smile but his lips twitched like he did. "Then you'll do as I say?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Good girl." He tugged my face forward with his hold on my neck and fused our lips in a hard, possessive kiss that turned my blood into the very liquid desire that now coursed to every throbbing cell in my body.

"I've missed this." He moaned and my eyes rolled at the sudden pleasure that hit my core when he slid his tongue into my mouth. "I've missed touching you." He mumbled, biting down hard on my bottom lip and sucking away the pain before pulling back and letting me have air. "Let's get you on that bed and spread wide."

Heat sizzled in my core. I nodded and obliged. I walked into the room and slowly lay on the mattress.

I wasn't very comfortable with my body at the best of times and having it being viewed in such close proximity made my insides shrink. But Killian didn't seem to care. His eyes were hot on mine as he walked into the room, fiddled with his belt, and eased his pants down over his thighs.