To have and to loathe

• 𝐂hapter 9

"Does he have to be in here?" Hope asked, glaring at me as I plopped down on the stool at the other side of the exam table.

The tech tossed her an odd look. "Isn't he your husband?"

Husband?

Was this woman blind or did she not see the way we irritated each other?

"I do not have all day, please proceed and stop listening to whatever this crazy woman is saying." I scowled, fidgeting with my watch, twisting it back and forth. It was my nervous habit, and right now I was pretty nervous.

"You're the crazy one," Hope muttered, laying straight on the exam table.

I ignored her.

"Cute couples," the woman chuckled, shaking her head in muse as she draped a blanket over her thighs and lifted her dress to squirt ultrasound gel all over her belly.

As she began to move the transducer around, I kept my eyes focused on the TV screen mounted high on the wall in front of me. At first, it was just a blur of black and white. I was calm, there was nothing to worry about. But when she stopped moving the transducer and hit some buttons on the computer in front of her, a shrimp-shaped blob appeared in the middle of a dark lopsided circle, suddenly making my heart sink.

Something flickered inside the blob. I knew what it was. I'd seen one when my cousin had her first child. It was a baby, allegedly my baby, she wasn't lying about the pregnancy part.

Fuck, no.

There was no way Hope was pregnant with my child. We'd used a condom.

God, who was I kidding?

Dread slithered up my spine and coiled in his gut. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples in frustration.

I knew the stats. Condoms weren't one hundred percent effective and I'd been so desperate to fuck her that night that I didn't hesitate using whatever weird-looking rubber I picked up from the stash of free condoms in the hotel.

The tech took measurements. "The baby looks to be about 9 weeks and three days old. Let me input these measurements into my system and I can tell you a conception date and a due date."

Fidgeting with my watch more aggressively, I focused on the tech as she typed the numbers on the screen, attempting to process the information.

"March 21st or thereabouts is when the baby was conceived," the woman ascertained, breaking my cloud of denial. "This makes December your due date. Your next appointment with the doctor is in a month."

"She's pregnant..." I mumbled, soaking in my reality. She was freaking pregnant with my baby. There was no doubt about it now. I was going to be a dad. I was also going to throw up.

The woman smiled. "Would you like to have the photos?"

Hope nodded and she proceeded to print out three black and white images.

"So the baby is...okay?" Hope asked nervously.

The tech turned her focus to her. "Your stress levels are a bit high, I suggest you cut down your daily activity to a minimum. This is your first child. A lot of things could go wrong." She handed over a hot to her. "The baby looks healthy. Make sure to take care of yourself okay?"

Hope nodded, clutching the photo. "Thank you," she croaked, watching as the woman packed up her equipment and nodded knowingly at me before walking out of the room.

Once we were alone, I ran a hand over my face and heaved out a suffering sigh.

I was screwed, definitely screwed. It felt like my world turned upside down. It was my baby. Hope wasn't lying after all. I'd convinced myself so well that she'd been lying to get my money, but seeing that blob on the screen punched the breath right out of my lungs.

Trying to stay composed, I pushed away from the panic in my chest. I needed to handle the situation the best I could.

Hope stepped down from the exam table and turned to me. "I hope you've gotten the answers you so eagerly wanted."

She had a dry tone to her voice that made me narrow my eyes.

"Quite clearly. " I said dryly whilst getting up. "I think now is the perfect time to talk about your options."

Her brows furrowed. "My options?"

"Well, you don't have to keep the baby if you don't want to."

"I'm not having an abortion," she replied, instinctively running a hand over her invincible bump. "I'm keeping it."

"Is adoption something you've considered?"

"Why the hell will I consider adoption or abortion!" She raised her voice at me.

I sighed. "Would you calm down?"

"Don't tell me to freaking calm down."

"Alright then be my guest and yell as much as you want like the crazy woman you are."

She clenched her fist and spoke through gritted teeth. "Never call a pregnant woman crazy."

"Never assume I asked you to get rid of my kid." I bit bark, studying her like a man trying to decipher a complicated puzzle. God, she was going to be a handful. I raked my hand into my hair and heaved out a breath. "Look, we obviously have a lot of things to discuss."

She scoffed, her voice gruffed from yelling at me. "I have nothing to discuss with you. I can take of myself and my baby without your help. I'm not some teen mum and I certainly don't expect anything from you."

"If you think I'm gonna let you waltz around the street, eating god knows what and fucking god knows who with my child in there, you better think again." I glanced at my watch. Shit. "I'll set up a meeting so we can discuss like two mature adults. Tomorrow by five, my driver will come to get you."

"No, you won't." She retorted, defiant.

"Yes, I will. Five o'clock sharp."

"I have late-night shifts. I'll be busy all day."

"The next day then."

"I'm busy all weekend."

My brow rose in query. "With what?"

"None of your business."

My forehead crumpled into a frown. "Like it or not, your business became mine the minute you got pregnant, so the sooner you stop acting like a crazed woman and start thinking rationally, the better for us both. Now I don't care if you have midnight shifts. Tomorrow by five we'll meet and discuss." I deadpanned, looking down on her.

Her shoulders squared. "Well, I'll have you know that—"

"Save me the sass Sterling, this is final," I stated, over the conversation.

She pursed her lip. "I hate you."

"Tell that to someone who hasn't tasted your cum."

She looked buffeted by dismay. It intrigued me. But before she could formulate some kind of comeback, I turned around and made my way to the door. "Goodbye, Ms. sterling."