Based off the vid above and some others-
This is why you never let any of my OCs narrate sh!t-
=-=
Oreo: So this begs the question; why did the priest have Pope blood in his bag?-
/
Dusk, completely monotone: Whether you're a young lad down at the swimming hole or a grizzled crime scene investigator, everybody's got some dead bodies-
/
Airi: Now when people think of special post-mortem instructions like that, they usually think like *small inhale* "scatter my ashes at 6:53 AM off the Western face of the third Trident Point using my Italian grandmother's favorite ladle"-
/
Dusk: Was there ever a human soul so profoundly asinine and willfully ignorant as "Amelia Bedelia"??-
/
Dusk: I want to shove her face into a running waffle iron and be like "ha, isn't this IRONic"-
/
Dusk: You know, after peanut butter and chocolate, my favorite combination of two things is probably gross incompetence and high explosives-
/
Odessa: These people are worth their weight in precious shekels-
/
Dusk: Kinda like when you were a kid and had to keep running to keep the kite in the air.
Oreo: Only, instead of a kite, it's your respiratory system-
Dusk: -and instead of the kite falling down, you would choke to death on your own deflated organs-
/
Odessa: In the words of Danny DeVito: "When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash!"-
/
Demented reanimating Dusk after he was presumed dead: hEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD CRIMINAL-
/
Daedalus, staring at the results of a torture experiment: ...okay so what if we tried it on people-
/
Dusk: Yeah, uh, whAT THE FUCK-
/
Oreo: And Dessa tried to move the prop around, only to have its arm break off- she was like, "Ugh, of course, lousy stiff. Wait a minute. That's curious. This mannequin's got human flesh and bones.
...
wait a damn minute-"
/
Xena, deadpan, holding Dana by the scruff: yeah we got a demon on our hands just ignore her-
/
Dusk: Unlike me, this diamond isn't just a big white waste of space-
/
Dusk: Somewhere in an alternate reality not far from ours, Big Bird blew up in a space shuttle-
/
Delmira talking about the time a Clanmate crushed both his legs: And when he woke up, he found his legs were like used-up tubes of toothpaste-
/
Odessa: That's like kicking someone in the balls and being like, "woah bro you just got feathered lmao"- no fUCK YOU DON'T TRY TO DOWNPLAY MY SUFFERING-
/
Birb, after falling from Andrus: My very being is on fire, my only desire left is for Death herself to kill me-
/
Me planning Dusk's story: And just when you think it can't get any worse, it gets worse-
/
Dusk: But I guess Shiva Gautama Christ-Chan still had unfinished business-
/
Dusk: HEY, remember that time 4 billion things died inexplicably??-
/
Daedalus: *Quietly staring at a Mystic Heart*
Dae:
Dae: What the fuck is so exciting about t h -
/
Icarus: Moral of the story kids, don't eat strange bread; you could trip balls and d i e
/
Dusk: There's been a lot of creatures haphazardly thrown into the cosmos against their will.
/
Anastasia: Or roughly the same force as when you realize that isn't a normal speed bump, but one of those evil tiny ones that ruin your life- you know the fuckers-
Ana: "oH tHaT'S wHat YoU gEt fOr gOINg 25 neAr a HoSpItAl A N A"-
Ana: Well HEY good thing I'm already here considering the ballistics test that just went down between the roof of my car and my SKULL-
/
Me: Ha, drugs-
/
Me, pointing at my new OCs: YOU'RE NEXT, SANURA-
Sanura: h-
how do you know my name-
Me getting uncomfortably close to her face: I c r e a t e d y o u -
/
Shads, monotone: The number of human beings who have sucked a piece of someone's living eyeball through a straw is above 0.
/
Dusk: At least the iron maiden was real. Still are, actually.
Dusk: *Looks dead at the camera* And don't you forget that-
(Ah yes welcome to Dusk being vaguely threatening-
Again-)
/
Odessa: Maybe I should cover more relevant, nuanced topics in my videos.
...
Anyways let's talk about chickens-
/
Anyways-
