Claw's Bridge(Discontinued)

68. Sexuality and Gender

(Can we please respect Alex going by Alex? I know it's not what you wanted, but if they don't go by their dead name, then it's for a reason in context to the story. Outside the story, I didn't want to create confusion by mistyping, so I couldn't use Yoonji.)

"So kid," Alex started, taking a seat in the armchair next to the couch I was laying on. "Your accent. Where are you from?"

"Planet Jupiter, an exo-planet," I replied. "Daughter, partner?"

"We ran away from the South together. My mate, Sangmi, is my childhood best friend," she said. "Daughter is about three months old. Royce is her name."

"Gender neutral," I said, nodding. I liked her. She was straight to the point, and gave sufficient information. "Smart and comfortable."

"Yoongi said your name is Jungkook. Is that your dead name?" she asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's my name. I'm an assassin. Nighter is my alias," I replied. "I prefer Nighter over Jungkook anyways. How did you get a daughter if you both are women? Is that possible in Hitzor?"

She chuckled. "You're an innocent one, aren't you? The big curious doe eyes say it all," she said. "I'm a fertile intersex, or in other words, hermaphrodite."

"What's that?" I asked, my curiosity spiking.

"I have male and female reproductive organs. And I'm fertile, which is not very common," she explained. "What's your sexuality? If you feel comfortable sharing."

"Demisexual bisexual," I replied. "I have to develop a strong emotional bond with a person before I feel any sexual attraction. My ex-girlfriend used to explain it as being asexual until I'm not."

(This is how I define my sexuality as a Demisexual bisexual. No hate to any community, everyone is accepted here and valid!<3)

"That's intriguing," she commented. "What are your intentions with my brother?"

"I'm not even dating him," I said. Yoongi came into the living room to take a break. "Why the questions? Shouldn't you be asking the people who are?"

"You're not?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "You're mates, aren't you?"

"Doesn't mean I have to be in a relationship with them," I said. I knew my following words would hurt Yoongi because of the mate bond. "I feel nothing romantically or sexually towards my mates."

"Then why do you treat us differently from before?" Yoongi asked, sounding hurt, but masking it well. Unfortunately for him, I was good at reading people and picked up on the slight change of his tone.

"Decency," I replied. The only person who I was comfortable around was Taehyung, but even for him, I didn't feel any attraction. "You never let me leave, so I gave up on trying."

"You want to leave?" she asked. I nodded. "You don't care about them at all?"

"I care about them the same way I care about anybody else," I responded.

"Do you still have feelings for Lana?" Yoongi asked.

"Yes," I replied, truthfully. He looked away. "They're still there, but not strong enough for me to want to be in a relationship with her."

"Why haven't you left?" Alex asked.

"I tried, but they wouldn't let me, so I gave up," I replied. She hummed in response.

"So what's the status of the donuts?" she asked.

"Shut up about your donuts already," Yoongi grumbled getting up to check on the dough. He came back and plopped down beside Alex. "I forgot the dough takes time to rise."

"So what do you do for a living?" Alex asked. "Or what did you do, besides be an assassin?"

"Daytime florist," I replied, removing the bandage to check on my leg that felt as if it healed. Yoongi moved to help me remove the bandage, gently moving my leg to check. I couldn't force myself to have feelings. I didn't like that the bond was forcing me to have feelings for people I didn't know. It was against my sexuality in a way, and forced me to question who I was. I knew who I was, I had figured it out a long time ago.

But the bond. It frustrated me, even infuriated me. It was a constant ring in the back of my mind that got louder every time I refused to acknowledge the bond. I wanted time to move on from Lana, I just wanted time to move on from everything I had been through. I wanted to think for myself for once instead of others, but the bond forced me to revolve my entire life around the six were-dragons.

I wanted to decide who I wanted to build a bond with, even if they weren't 'perfect' for me, I wanted the imperfections that unfated relationships came with. I didn't want to fall for someone like a blind puppy just because they're perfect for me, I wanted to build a bond with someone I was comfortable with.

And I was far from comfortable with the ones I was fated with.