Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 99 - Wonderwall (Oasis)

DARYL

I married me a sorceress. She's nuthin but a mind readin witch, eh? Just like the Kid 😉

Thought finally readin Carl's letters might do her some good? Guess I wasn't prepared at all. For the effect it'll have on yours truly as well, huh!

Just makes me miss him all the more.

"Keep reading, Daryl."

Big Sister Nana? Please teach Judith....just like you did me?

All about her tree and her ten minutes. To dance like no one's watching? How to just....love as well?

And to keep on loving, never stop. To love, not only when stuff is good. But especially when shit goes down. That kind is the most important now, huh?

Nate started to stiffen in my arms. Know exactly how she's feelin. Her big 'point'  is comin, and soon.

Please tell Dad that I always knew. And how proud I am. Would've been so hard for him, but he did it anyways. For us and Mom. That's real honest love too, eh Sis?

"Rick didn't say nuthin to us, but we all knew too. Right from the start. Judith's his and she always will be....no matter what."

Didn't want her to fret over dobbin or not. So I got in first.

Gotta go now, Sis. Cos I've decided to write one more letter.

To Negan.

"WHAT THE FUCK, KID?"  I yelled furiously, while Nate stayed quiet.

Waiting patiently for me to calm down.

Gonna tell him. That if he's still alive? It's only cos I stopped you. Deliberately made you lose your aim, that day of the big fight in Alexandria.

She never told me about that  little incident!

Again? It's like Nate read my mind before I can open my mouth once more.

"It wasn't an omission on purpose, Daryl. I was kinda dealing with some other stuff at the time....remember? Besides, what was done was done."

"Yeah, can see yer point. Knowin wouldn't have changed shit. Guess I'm still just a bit....m'sorry."

Yeah, I remembered. Almost too late  🙁

Gonna tell him why, just like I told you. Only I didn't tell you everything. Held stuff back on purpose. And I'm really sorry for doing that.

I saw it, Nate. Saw it on your face and in your eyes. Not just when you aimed your rifle at him either.

You had the exact same look before the Satellite outpost. Then even worse afterwards. Way worse. I know too, now. That the battle at Alexandria was like....your final straw almost?

It was as if deep, deep down inside? You knew. That killing all of his people, not just the evil ones? Was just plain wrong. And doing it hurt you real bad. In ways you couldn't control.

Guess you felt like you had to kill them all anyway....for us? So you broke your code....for us. Cos Dad kept telling everyone we had no choice any more. 

But we did! We always did. Even though the choices maybe weren't the best.

I got uber scared.

That maybe....after killing Negan too? You were gonna stop for good. Stop doing what you believe are the right things. And end up hating yourself even more than you already did? For breaking your codes.