Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 63 - Gimme Shelter (Rolling Stones)

DARYL

"I love yer somethin awful bad, Nate Dixon....yer did real good."

My words could only come out in a ragged whisper. It's all I'm capable of after the last hour or so.

 But the truth don't need to be spoken loudly in order for it to be heard....does it....

And I know my Baby Girl heard me alright. Tonight, she did more than real good. Didn't say a word. Just held me tight and let me be.

Gave me what she knew I needed....to just feel. And not be alone while I was feelin it.

How I'm feelin right now? Don't need to tell her that. Nate already knows.

One day, she'll say, 'talk to me'  and I reckon I will. Tell her everything that happened. What Denise said to me and Rosita. That I'm brave and....

I sat there on that bench for a couple of hours, almost chain smokin. And trying not to set the fur bag alight whenever a burning butt fell out of my trembling fingers.

After I dragged my way through half the pack Carol gave to me, I finally went to bed.

The missus came home from her watch, and I curled myself around her chilled body. Was actually able to find sleep for a little while.

Soon as the sun started creepin through the shuttered windows though, my eyes popped open. And the black fog in my head swallowed everything up.

Nate is so tired she didn't even murmur or roll over when my hand gently cradled her head. Slid my arm out from underneath it. The tips of my fingers ghosted over her hair and around to her face. Softly tracing the pale scar along the edge of her forehead....the barely there one on her cheek.

Skimmed the darkening shadows under her eyes. Wonderin if they'll show grey again if she opens them? Before my touch continued down to her lips.

My own lowered softly but she still didn't wake as I was hopin she would. So I can talk to her. Tell her what's goin on in my mind....and give her the chance to change it.

Think she'll be the only one who ever could this time.

"Love yer somethin awful bad. Be good. I'll see yer when I get home"  I whispered into her mouth once more.

Before carefully climbing out of bed, grabbing my gear and closing the bedroom door behind me.

Managed to get dressed despite the Mutt's attempt to start up a game of tug-of-war with my shirtsleeve.

Damned dog looked almost hurt....when I angrily growled at him to fuck off.

*

Wheeled my bike well away from the house then sat on it for near on ten minutes. Turning the key ring of Denise's over and over in my hand. While my conscience went to war with itself.

Know I should stay, be here for when them Saviors come. Cos one way or another they're comin for us alright.

And soon. Dwight's ambush yesterday was just an opening salvo.

He said our complex looks beautiful which means they've probably been watchin us. Trackin our movements on and off since we took down their satellite outpost.

But if they've been observin us? He'd surely know that just him and a dozen guys wouldn't be able to do much.

Nah!

It was just an excuse to intimidate us, get their asses in the door so they can take a closer look.

Then the big guns will come in? Do to us what they did to Hilltop maybe. And fuck only knows how many other communities....just like ours.