Home Is Your Heartbeat ('Home Is' Book Two - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 71 - Black and White (INXS)

NATE

"I appreciate your help, truly. But I really should do this on my own. If anyone saw and told him? Please....I don't want you to get into any trouble on my account."

Dwight glanced up briefly before completely ignoring me. Folded the arms of a dead-again walker on top of its chest, so they won't flop off the trolley once more.

We've been working quietly for a few minutes now in the semi-calm following the almighty Nate storm.

"It's Ok. No one else comes down here unless it's for punishment. And he won't be back for quite a few hours anyways, probably tomorrow I'd say. We'll have a bit of breathing space to get this done with. And you can do with a break I think."

"Negan's a sick fuck and you're right....he has to die. But I meant what I said, Nate. He won't hurt the kid, never has done. Those who do and he finds out about it? They pay."

"He won't tolerate anyone breaking his rules. Yet at the same time he enjoys a good fight. Almost admires anyone who stands up to him, stands up for themselves."

"Push it too far though...."

"And you end up in here?"  I glanced around the chamber.

I finished scraping bits of brain and skull into a bucket. Now I'm sloshing a mop of sudsy water over the remnants, to direct them towards the drain hole in the corner of the floor.

"Here or elsewhere. Sorry I couldn't get food and that to you these last couple of days. A few things got in the way. Plus my memory is pretty crap now as well. Didn't do it on purpose....I swear."

"It's Ok, Dwight. Don't stress. The elsewhere, is it worse? Is that....is that where Daryl is? "

I whacked myself around the head, mentally that is. Just couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. Though somehow I did manage to curb the tone of desperation that wanted to accompany them.

"Not worse. Not much better either just different. He's alive and doing....service."

The breath that tried to fill my lungs eventually stuttered its way inside. I blinked out another line of moisture before surreptitiously wiping my eyes.

Then I turned to look at him fully.

Have to do that so he can see I'm sincere and not putting on some kind of an act. Can't do that in front of him anymore, he deserves my truth. I know that now as well.

"Thank you for telling me that and for earlier, Dwight. I don't deserve any compassion. Especially after being so cruel....spiteful about you and Sherry. Yet you gave it anyway. Thank you."

"Makes me feel heaps better too. Knowing we're still right about one thing at least, that's for sure"  My smile up at his confused face is as wobbly as it's genuine.

"Right about what?"

"That you're a good person...."

I jumped when he all but threw the last walker onto the trolley and fled with it. Then gazed longingly at the door he's left wide open in his wake.

Only I can't bring myself to walk through it. Just keep staring out for near on ten minutes.

I know, I know! I can hear your screams in my head....believe me.

This is my golden opportunity to escape, go look for Daryl and get our asses home. And yet here I am. Peering out at the empty corridor beyond as my mop just keeps sloshing on autopilot.

If we get caught? I've got no doubt we'll pay with our lives this time. Except, we'll take others with us too.

For every step I take closer to the door, my feet take two steps back. Remembering the sound of that fucking bat. Maggie's screams....Sasha's sobs. Rick begging for Carl's life.