You Betrayed Me

Her Letter

A/N: play the song:)

Chase:
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It's been two weeks since I found out that the love of my life died with my unborn baby.

What have I done since then?

Locked in my bedroom, Smoking, drinking, crying, wishing it was me instead of her.

Exactly what I'm doing right now.

The guilt is too powerful and it's eating me up.

I mean, her funeral was four days ago and I didn't even went. I didn't go because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't bear with the thought that she was gone, she was gone and she wasn't coming back.

It's true when they say that the first stage of grief is denial. I wanted so hard to believe that Nina was still here, upset with me still, but she was here.

I didn't care if she hated me because I deserved it but as long as she was alive to do so, and she isn't now.

The day after her funeral, Jacob came to deliver a letter that Nina last wrote to me. I know that because I saw him from the window talking to my father.

My father. He's pretty disappointed in me however he doesn't say it to not cause me any pain.

But I want the pain, I deserve it.

Jacob had every right to be mad at me after I confessed to everything that went down between Nina and I.

"I'm sorry-"

"No! No, you are not sorry!" Jacob shouted, punching me straight in the jaw. "You broke her, Chase, you hurt her so much!"

"I did," I admitted with my gaze on the floor.

I want him to hit me hard.

"Why did you treat her like that, huh? Why create this perfect relationship with her if you were just going to ruin it?!" He threw me on the floor and began kicking me. "You thought that was okay? Huh?!"

I wanted to answer but the only thing that i managed to choke out was a mouthful of spit with blood.

"She deserved so much better than you," Jacob cried out with a whimper. "You are a piece of shit! You did all that and now your surprised she's gone?!"

Even as he was hitting me, he was crying.

Jacob was crying for Nina.

"Look what you've done, you're a fucking animal." He said sniffling before turning me around and sitting on top of me.

I received punch after punch... but I didn't care.

I want to kill myself so bad, but I won't because I don't even deserve the peace of death.

I haven't read it. It's been sitting on my desk for a good three days. I'm not capable to read it-I'm scared.

I'm so fucking scared and I blame that all on myself, the alcohol I'm drinking and all the fucked up shit I've done.

I take out another cigarette and place it on my lips, I lit it as a tear rolls down my cheek. Inhaling the smoke as I stare at the letter.

The last letter she ever wrote, the letter she wrote for me.

Fuck it.

I take the cigarette away from my lips and throw it inside an opened water bottle. Standing up I grab the envelope and sit at the end of my bed. I carefully open it and take out the two pieces of paper.