Hells Angels- HARRY STYLES

Chapter 33

Dakotas POV

if I'd have known the after math of me coming back up north would have caused, I would have stayed well away. In my head, 'being right under his nose' sounded like a good idea at the time. So close he wouldn't even suspect it.

A month ago I was so careful, so quick to keep people at arms length for their own safety. I've let myself slip up and I only have myself to blame. What would the old me think if she saw me right now? I've disappointed her, I've definitely disappointed my family. God my parents. Who knows what they're up to now.

What did I expect would happen dragging these people into my messed up life. H insisted I did no such thing but I can't help but hate myself right now.

Alone, scared and freezing, I'm sat on a hospital floor. The smell of floor polish burning my nostrils, the only thing keeping me awake and running on no sleep. I feel like my body is going to give in to the heavy weight pulling on my eye lids and clouding up my brain.

I focus on the noises, the soft whispers, the beeping of equipment hooked up to patients. I hear clicking of heals on the very same floor I'm sitting on and the rain. Mostly I hear the rain tapping on the window behind me. If it was any other circumstance I would actually say this was very calming. I look up to the ceiling, counting for the 4th time tonight, quadruple checking that there are infact 84 tiles. 37 white tiles, 28 blue tiles and 19 grey tiles.

This out of the way hallway that I've found myself setting up tent in for the passed hour and a half, doesn't look like the usually emergency room but they're the professionals and I had to leave it with them.

I check my phone for the billionth time tonight, opening the panicked messages from Sarah and everyone else. I may have taken things into my own hands back at the rescue mission for Opie.
Harry was shot once on his neck. Upon arriving at the hospital, that I had to speed to to give him at least a chance of surviving. The doctors quickly took his into theatre and had a sweet lady that smelt like coffee and flowers sit with me for most of the operation, before she apologised multiple times how she's sorry but needed to help other patients.

Flashes of the hit play over and over in my mind. The way his hand fell limp in mine. The way his smile fell from his face leaving only a scared one behind. How his whole body fell beside mine in a heap on the floor.

Some say they forget or block out trauma, that it's to hard to keep reliving but I had to remember. It only fuels my hatred for Jeffrey and those sick bastards he has working for him. I remember the look on Tonys face when instead of running for my life like he probably thought I would have, I grabbed my gun from the floor and raised it in the air, aiming straight for his head. It was almost like he couldn't believe it was happening. Probably thought I would have just left H and made a run for it on my own but that's what's different from us and them. They're cowards really.

With the gun aimed I let all the hatred and angry boil over until my hands couldn't take the wait any longer. Tony started to back up, pleading with me, something about how he's all out of bullets and he'll leave us alone but I honestly couldn't care less. I let him beg for his life and just when he might have thought I was going to pitty him, I pulled the trigger. Once, twice, three times into his big fucking skull.

Dragging Harry by myself to the car was a mission in itself. I couldn't scream or cry in case someone heard me. I couldn't call out for the gang and in my fit of panic and tears I forgot all about the Walkie-talkies and the one H had dropped back inside the building. My only option if I wanted H to live was to leave as quickly as I could to get him to the hospital. And that is what I did.
But now at 2:45pm it's been roughly 10 hours since everything happened and the gang still haven't made an appearance.

I made sure to tell the receptionist where they can find us if they arrive but I'm yet to find them. Until a hand rests on my shoulder and a familiar voice calls my name. I'm not sure how long they had been there but I'm so thankful they were here.
'Hey honey, can you hear me? It's us, it's Sarah.' Looking up to my left I lock blurry eyes with the friend I only met a short while ago but I truly would call my best friend.

She had already crouched down to my level before I had chance to get up and was squeezing me as hard as she could. Had I even stopped crying since getting to the hospital? I couldn't tell but when our arms wrapped around each other a whole ocean worth of tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes.
Pulling her in tighter she almost fell over, my voice doesn't seem to want to work. You know that feeling when you're trying not to cry and you feel like you can't breath or talk, that's how I felt in this moment.
'I'm so glad you're ok.' My voice came out small and quiet like it was only for us to hear.

Sarah hugged me a little tighter and started running her fingers threw my hair, shushing me to take deep breaths. With how tired I am and how soothing this felt, I find myself falling. Her voice quiet and sweet 'hey it's ok, just breath, we're hear now, everything's going to be ok. We got you honey.'

I'm not sure at what point between Sarah's soft voice and touches and getting me over to a row of seats that I found myself waking up on did they manage to coax me over to or carried me to. I open my eyes in a state of panic, a jacket falling to the ground from over me. I'm alone but definitely still in the hospital.

Not wanting to waste a second being asleep, I pinch myself for falling asleep so easily. But why am I alone? Where is everyone? Taking the jacket with me, I stand up a little to quickly, feeling dizzy. Ive not ate since yesterday morning.
Pretty much running down the halls of the hospital I remember the ward that Harry was taken to, not to far from where I was. Flushed cheeks, my hair all tangled in a messy bun, the stray strands stick to my clammy neck.

'Sarah? Mitch? Anyone hello!' One or two people pass me but just as I'm about to ask for directions, I hear familiar voices coming from a hall I vaguely recognise.

'Yes you've told us that Doctor but what does that mean, we don't speak professional! Just tell us is or friend going to be ok or not!' Coming round a corner I hear Mitches voice sounding the most scared and heartbroken I've ever heard him sound. I don't know why but my feet won't seem to let me get any closer. It's like they're to afraid to hear the worst.

'Mr Rowland I understand your concern for your friend, we are doing everything we possibly can to help him. Mr styles is in a self induced coma. This was our only option to try and keep his body from going into shock and allowing the brain to rest. He's very lucky to even be alive all things considered. Mr Styles was shot in the side of his neck, the bullet hit a major artery, the Carotids. Now don't worry, he is in good hands and he will be out of theatre I'd say roughly 2 more hours from now give or take everything goes smoothly. He will still be in a state of coma for a couple of weeks. I advise you get well rested and we will send someone to get you as soon as your are able to see Harry. I excuse me.'

It's like my feet were glued in place. There was so much to take in I couldn't wrap my head around it. When I look back up Sarah and Mitch were making there way back towards me. How is this even happening? That should be laying in there fighting for my life. Not H.

Needing some time to process all of this I let my feet carry me on the opposite direction of my friends. Running. Sprinting down the halls looking for any signs that would lead me outside. I couldn't breath. As if being strangled, my throat was closing up, heart about to break out of my chest. Oh god a full blown panic attach.
Finally at the very far end of the hospital a sign reading car park 2 and a door to fresh air. I throw myself through it instantly feeling relief as the air hits my face, a little colder where my tears have made my cheeks damp.  

Clawing at my neck I can't get any air to my lungs. The pain in my chest and this combined has me falling to my knees. With no one around to help, rain hitting my back like knives all I can't do is cry. Cry for Harry. Cry for my friends and the most painful cry for myself because I don't deserve them. They don't deserve the shit storm I created in there lives.