Trouble 🌀 EDITING

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Adam had gotten his badge back, correction Hank got him his badge back. I also know that he was very angry about what he did to me. I don't even know why I reacted like that. I had seen horrible things at my old school experienced horrible things. But when he punched that guy and arrest him. I don't know something just flipped inside me. I had seen my the injuries caused by the job more than once. I guess I just ignored it, lived my life in this weird in between where they could get hurt but it didn't register. Or maybe I just became numb to it and seeing it just hurt scared me. I don't understand it. I hadn't spoken to Adam, think both of us were busy. I was using soccer as a major reason.

"What's going on with you" Kevin said sitting in front of me. I was at a cafe sitting doing my school work. It was a Saturday. I had spent three weeks off school I had work to catch up on. "No idea what your talking about" I didn't look up from my history work just kept writing notes on the extract. "Really so you normally don't come to the district on a weekend...I totally have to ping your phone" I look up at him "you could have messaged me or asked dad he knew I was here" he laughs nodding "I could have" i looked down going back to my work "so what is it today" "history World Wars to be specific" I shrug "you know his not doing ok without his Frank" I sigh tapping my pen my mind spinning "what happened Bai you have been weird distant" I frown "you spent a week maybe close to two with him. You were always together then one day you just disappeared after Trudy brought you back what happened" tears build up at the memories "I'm not blind I know you guys have a dangerous job god I can't even count the number of times I have been to the hospital because of it" he sends me an encouraging smile "I guess I just pretended that catching bad guys wasn't a dangerous thing because I loved you all so much and I didn't want to forever worry whether you were going to make it back" he grabs my shoulders making me realise the tears were dripping from my eyes "calm down Bai" I weakly smile "I left to get a drink a smoothie and him a water I was walking back when I saw him punch someone. The guy was struggling" he nods taking every word I said in "I ran over in a panic I didn't know what was happening he didn't say anything...just showed me the drugs" I take a deep breath "I was freaking out I didn't know what to do he had basically just assaulted and arrest this man...I called Trudy told her I sat on the bench not moving closer clutching the drinks I don't even think I drank them" I shake my head "I heard what Trudy and him talked about how he is waiting for his case he could go away forever Adam...how the guy was dealing. Trudy asked if he was drinking and he said no" "was he" Kevin asked I could tell he was mad "not around me but I had seen the bottles at his place and smell it does that mean he was still drunk or was I just making rash decisions and now I don't know if I acted to quickly I had never seen that in real life I dejected somewhat so now I'm guilty...I told Trudy not to tell dad but I cracked and told him that night" he sighs turning my chair and moving a chair so he can sit right in front of me "hey Bai you didn't feel safe no one will be mad at you for getting Trudy to take you to your dad especially not Adam" he reassures me "hey you did the right thing I know your dad always told you to ring one of us to come get you if you don't feel safe and that's what you did...Voight fixed it up so Adam isn't going to trail and his a cop again granted his a cop who feels very guilty for what he did to you" "he didn't do anything" "yes he did" I weakly smile "now I know why Voight and your dad are constantly glaring at him or why I hear Adam apologising asking your dad to see you" "dad wouldn't give in" Kevin laughs making me smile "I'm scared to see him kev scared I disappointed him hurt him...with hailey there as well it just made it easier to not go" "you didn't disappoint him can promise you that his constantly asking how you are he misses you...and what's going on with hailey" "she's sleeping with my dad although I think it's meant to be a secret but they never told me that" I sigh "she just pushes so hard to get to know me always trying to be helpful but at the end of the day she's taking my dad from me" "your dad would never pick her over you" "he already did all those weeks where I wasn't going home he was with her it's why he never noticed" I practically snap "my mum didn't push hard she just pushed me away the first chance she got so when people try to work there way in" "you push away" I nod he wraps his arms around me hugging me "well you got all of us and you tell us if your dad picks her again I'm sure you have plenty of uncles who will rough him up for you" I laugh resting my head on his shoulder "how bout I take you to the district I know plenty of people who are dying to see you and there's almost as many who will make sure your happy so if you don't want to be around hailey or Adam we will make that happen" I laugh packing my stuff up allowing him to lead me to his car "they work there it's ok" "if you don't feel comfortable you tell one of us hell I'm pretty sure Voight would go out for lunch with you if you didn't want to be there anymore or even Trudy who rarely leaves her desk" I smile "we all love you your our family kid" I nod thinking about it "do you think I'm being to harsh" "on who" "both...hailey and Adam" he shrugs starting the car "I was somewhat close to hailey before she started sleeping with my dad and Adam" "it scared you and that's ok not harsh neither is you shutting hailey out they should have told you not snuck around keeping it a secret" I slowly nod "my dads never had a girlfriend sure he slept with people but they were never in a relationship" I sigh "I think I'm hurting him and the last thing I want to do is hurt my dad" "don't you dare play nice just for him...your feelings are just as if not more important than his he can figure this out and he will...if hailey is here to stay then you will learn to love her but don't discount your feelings ever promise me no matter what you feel even if it seems ridiculous that you won't ignore it you will accept it because that is how you feel and that is important" I smile nodding "I promise kev" "I'm going to be mad if you play nice because if other peoples feelings not yourself first always even if it hurt people you always put everyone else first" I nod considering it maybe I do need to be selfish. Maybe if I was more selfish I wouldn't be hurt all the time. These are my feelings and I don't get to feel unhappy or guilty for having them.