Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 14

Now that Jiang Yanli was looking at the backs of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian who were leaving the courtyard, she wanted to run after them and spend as much time with her brother as possible. However, her treacherous thoughts and fears about hurting her brother yet again kept her glued in place. Only her eyes were following the two figures as they disappeared inside the mansion.

She stood there, frozen, and wondered what she should do now. She had lost her chance to go with them and she knew she would just get herself lost in the building if she followed now, blindly. She was new to the Cloud Recesses Manor and she still had not gotten to be shown around. She did not even know where she was allowed to go and where not. The only places which she knew were the dining room, the infirmary and her own guest quarters; and she was not even sure she would be able to find her way to either of those places when she was this emotional. It was more likely that she would only get herself lost again. Moreover, she had no idea where Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were headed to so she could not follow them even if she decided that it would be a good idea.

In her inner turmoil, she had not even realized that Mo Xuanyu was now standing next to her. It warmed her heart that she was not left on her own, she really was not sure if she would have been able to make it back any time soon. She only noticed him when he spoke to her politely: "Miss Jiang, what will you do now? Can I help you in any way?"

Jiang Yanli did her best to shake off her morose and sad thoughts. She smiled a little bit, bowing her head in response to the boy's kindness. She was grateful that he had stayed behind and could help her find her way around. Though, she realized right at that moment when she wanted to reply that she still did not know his name nor who he was. She actually felt ashamed of herself for not asking earlier, he had clearly guessed her identity but that was no excuse for her to be rude.

She had not had an opportunity to get to know the boy properly since this morning had been such a rollercoaster of events and emotions for her. First there had been her who had been lost and had not thought about asking the name of her saviour. Then, her whole attention was on We Wuxian and A-Yuan, she had completely forgotten about the fact that she still did not know the other boy's name until now. And he had helped her and her brother so much too.

Since he already knew her name, and of course he would when Lan Wangji had said it earlier, she was the only one who was being left without a way to properly address him. It did not feel right. She wanted to know the name of the one who had helped her and her brother and who was so kind to them. As it looked like he and Wei Wuxian already knew each other, she hoped that the boy standing in front of her with a sleeping child in his arms would be able to get through to her brother and assist in his recovery. She wanted to get to know him better.

Her cheeks became beet red when she hurried to correct her mistake of politeness in a little maladroit way: "Young Master, can you please tell me your name?"

The boy seemed surprised by her question and his eyes became wide open before they travelled to the ground. He looked shy all of a sudden, and nervous as well. Jiang Yanli could see his fingers nervously twitching where his hands were wrapped around A-Yuan. If he was not holding the child, she was sure he would have started fidgeting with them. Something she knew pretty well herself, a nervous tic she had never gotten completely rid of despite her mother scolding her for it countless times.

The boy's cheeks were slightly flushed when he finally introduced himself with the best bow he could accomplish with a sleeping toddler in his arms: "Miss Jiang is very thoughtful. I am Mo Xuanyu. But Miss Jiang should not call me 'young master', I am just a servant here in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Please feel free to use just my name when you call on me in the future."

Suddenly, Jiang Yanli saw another boy standing there. A memory flashed in front of her eyes at the familiar way of disregarding and lowering oneself.

Mo Xuanyu now looked so much like Wei Wuxian that it was almost uncomfortable. And he behaved in the same way too which led Jiang Yanli into thinking that he had perhaps had a similar history. She now started wondering under which circumstances the boy boys had met, she supposed those were not really happy times. For other servants she had met had never tried to lower themselves this much. Of course, they were subservient but there was always an air of dignity and perhaps even pride around them, they were not completely disregarding themselves in favour of serving their masters. Some even talked back when given an order they did not want to follow.

That was not the case for Wei Wuxian, and Mo Xuanyu she could swear, they were just too similar in their behaviours. Both boys would always do what they were told, no matter how much they would not like it. Jiang Yanli knew fully well that this was the case when it came to her brother and she suspected that her guess would not be far from truth even in Mo Xuanyu's case. The boy seemed very sweet and caring but shy, sheepish even. He must not have had too many good experiences in the past. His nervousness when talking to her and after being called 'young master' was proof enough of that fact.

No matter, Jiang Yanli now wanted to help both of them to regain their literally non-existent self-esteem and for them to start value themselves more. She knew that this kind of attitude would only hurt them in the long run. She had already seen it with her brother after all. Not that he had been given any choice in trying to retain any dignity or space to think about what he himself wanted.

She wondered if Mo Xuanyu had truly been in the same spot as Wei Wuxian. If yes, it would make her very hopeful about her brother's recovery. Mo Xuanyu did not look too bad and he seemed happy as well. He had clearly recovered and now only occasional echoes of his past behaviour could be seen. Although Jiang Yanli only knew him for a handful of hours, she could tell. She had had enough experience when interacting with her brother to be able to spot even the smallest of tells.

She smiled gently and put accent onto the addressing when she spoke: "Young Master Mo, it is a pleasure to get to know you. Thank you for your kind offer. I do not know the Cloud Recesses Manor yet; if it will not be too much trouble, I would appreciate if you could show me back to my room."

The boy positively brightened and smiled shyly at her. He must have been surprised by her insistence to call him 'young master' but he did not comment on it, he seemed happy. He was now looking at her as the first time they had met and he proposed, his voice hiding only the tiniest hint of his previous nervousness and uncertainty: "Of course. If Miss Jiang would like to, I could show her around the mansion as well. I only need to get A-Yuan back to his room to sleep comfortably."

Jiang Yanli's smile became even bigger: "That would be lovely, thank you."