Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 108

Lan Qiren saw Jiang Yanli getting up from the table with a pained expression on her face. He was not too surprised by what she was apparently feeling, his own perception of Wei Wuxian's behaviour was the same. He too was worried for him and wanted him to stand up quickly. The boy's bowing form was indeed distressing to see.

And more than that. He was still feeling guilty because there was no other explanation but the fact Wei Wuxian feared him enough to become a trembling mess every time they met. This was something which Lan Qiren had feared and had not completely prepared his heart for. He knew he should have; however, he had still opted to believe he would be able to handle the situation well and it would not come to this. It seemed he had been wrong, extremely wrong ever, yet again.

His eyes followed Jiang Yanli walking around the table to go meet her brother and he would be lying if he said he was not relieved. He had no idea how to save the situation. Luckily, the maiden of the Lotus Pier Manor looked like she knew exactly what to do.

She leaned towards Wei Wuxian, putting her palms on his shoulders and massaging them in a gesture of reassurance. It was both very sweet how she cared about the boy and very awkward to see as Lan Qiren was not used to such open expressions of affection. This was not something that would be done often in the Lan family. Moreover, he personally always preferred to talk and not to resolve to physical affection. Tough love, some called it, and it worked perfectly when raising his nephews. It did not work so well for Wei Wuxian it would seem though.

And then, Jiang Yanli spoke, so quietly that Lan Qiren almost missed her words: "A-Xian, it is fine. Everything is fine. Please do not be afraid. Master Lan do not want to punish you or scold you. He truly only wishes to speak with you."

Oh... Oh. Lan Qiren immediately realized that this was what he should have said first, before scaring Wei Wuxian this much. Those were such simple words of reassurance and yet, he had not thought even for a second to say them so Wei Wuxian would feel more at ease for the upcoming conversation.

It was true, he had realized his error even before, but he had had no idea about how to remedy it. But this, this was exactly what was needed. It was just so simple; he wanted to smack himself on the head for not coming up with this solution himself. It was obvious too! Stupid him, it seemed he still had a long way to go if he could not even manage this much.

Well, never mind right now, he could explore his conscience and his heart later. At the moment, it was imperative he did not lose this chance that Jiang Yanli had given him and confirmed her words. He did so immediately and without a second thought: "Yes, that is correct, Wei Wuxian. I just wanted to talk to you."

When the boy did not react, he added even more softly: "Stand up, you are not a servant to be bowing like this."

A thought crossed his mind, what had Jiang Yanli said? Oh yes, it looked like she believed Wei Wuxian was afraid Lan Qiren would punish him in some way. Which, just until yesterday, would have probably been true. No matter what he wanted to think about himself, he could not hide the truth. He had been biased against the boy and would have taken every opportunity to make him obey and behave in a way he considered adequate. He had not even spared Wei Wuxian's own feelings a second thought.

That was not the case anymore. Now Lan Qiren was ready to admit his mistakes and he needed the boy to not fear a punishment from him. Despite the fact that Lan Xichen had already reassured Wei Wuxian before, Lan Qiren was convinced it would not hurt to say those words again, as many times as it would take:

"Wei Wuxian, you did nothing wrong. There is no reason to give you any punishment. Now, please, do not bow anymore, I only want to speak with you."

He was not sure if this would do the trick, if the boy would believe him, especially after how he had treated him in the past. However, he was still ready to wager his last penny and all his pride on the possibility he actually would. Of course, it was in no way something he was certain about. Never, not after how he had behaved, both when he had visited the Lotus Pier Manor nearly a decade ago and during these last few days. Still, he prayed Wei Wuxian would be able and willing to open his heart to him even the tiniest bit and listen to his words without fear.

A true miracle was happening right in front of his eyes when the boy slowly – and still a little cautiously, Lan Qiren suspected but was not about to comment it further – straightened from his bow. Jiang Yanli let go of his shoulders and instead kept a reassuring hand on one of his forearms. Wei Wuxian did in no means look relaxed or stopped hunching into himself, but at least he was no longer bowing to him. That was a little progress.

Lan Qiren cleared his throat awkwardly. Now was his chance, he should finally speak his heart out, quickly, before the boy would overthink everything and would spiral deeper into his fear and panic again. He was certain the storm had been calmed only for mere moments and if he would not continue in the same way, he would lose his only opportunity.

Lan Wangji now stood up as well and went to join the standing pair of siblings. He positioned himself on Wei Wuxian's side, the one opposite to Jiang Yanli, and appeared like a silent stone: unbreakable and ever reliable. The trio sent shivers down Lan Qiren's spine. Despite himself, he suddenly felt somewhat intimidated. It was indisputable that both Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji were ready to defend Wei Wuxian till their last breaths. Not that Lan Qiren had any intention of hurting the boy, but if he had, he would have thought twice about it after seeing such a scene.

Initially, he had wanted to apologize to Wei Wuxian in the privacy of his own study, where no one but his nephew would witness his moment of weakness. However, as things stood, he believed that now was the best moment. If he said to away move from the dining room, the atmosphere could change and Wei Wuxian would have more time to start doubting his intentions once again.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained as the saying went. Lan Qiren cleared his throat one more time and opened his mouth. This was the moment of truth; this was when and where he would apologize and let Wei Wuxian decide for himself if he would believe his intentions and be willing to rebuild their relationship or not. With two reassuring presences by his sides, the boy must not have felt too stressed out anymore. Or at least Lan Qiren hoped so as it would be easier to get through to him that way.