Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 52

Lan Wangji was watching Wei Ying reading his book and his heart was swelling for the boy. He looked so peaceful like this, so lively despite everything. It was almost as if he had entirely another person in front of him. Wei Ying looked very cute too, still moving his lips from time to time when he came across a particularly interesting word. Lan Wangji had never seen anyone reading this serenely and it was a feast for his eyes and soul.

He had to wonder how long the boy had not been allowed to do anything enjoyable. For he was sure from the other's behaviour that even the smallest and simplest of things had been out of his reach and he was delighted to be able to do or obtain them. It was heart-breaking but Lan Wangji had already resolved himself not to dwell on the past, it would only make him unhappy and worried, he wanted to look forward to the future. He wanted to make Wei Ying happy.

The boy did not so much a stir when a servant came in with food and medicine on a tray. It was a good thing too, Lan Wangji did definitely not want a repeat of their earlier situation in the library, he had enough of emotional rollercoasters and panic for the day. If he was tired of them, he was sure that Wei Ying was even more so. In fact, the boy's eyes were closing of their own accord as he was reading, even though it did not seem like Wei Ying himself had noticed it.

Lan Wangji took the tray of food – it looked like a small feast fit for a sick person, he silently thanked Lan Xichen for being so considerate – from the servant's hands and went to stand next to the bed as soon as it was once again only him and the boy in the room. For almost five minutes, he was just standing there, debating with himself how he should let the other know that it was time for lunch without scaring him.

In the end, he took a deep breath and send a silent prayer to whomever could be listening. He whispered carefully: "Wei Ying..."

Lan Wangji's heart almost jumped out of his chest when the boy looked up at him. Not just stared at him from between his bangs like all those other times. Not just gave him a quick glance and lowered his head again. No, it was a normal look, or as normal as a sitting person could give to someone who was standing next to them. There was no fear or nervousness in those eyes. Wei Ying was completely calm and relaxed. There was even a smile on his lips.

Lan Wangji returned it without thinking. He wanted to reassure Wei Ying that everything was alright even though the boy did not look like he needed it at all at the moment. This was perhaps the calmest Lan Wangji had seen him so far. He was happy, and a little proud of both himself and the boy for not repeating the scare jump from the library.

"Do you want to eat something?" he offered when he finally found his bearing. He presented the food to Wei Ying and waited for his reaction.

He was not at all sure if the boy actually wanted to eat anything. Judging by his bright red cheeks and very glassy eyes, it was clear that his fever was pretty severe, definitely worse than yesterday. It was a little worrying, however Lan Wangji believed that Wei Ying would get better after drinking his medicine and sleeping, preferably for the whole afternoon, or even until morning.

The question now was if the boy had any appetite to eat anything. If he did, then everything would be fine. Lan Wangji would be reassured if Wei Ying ate at least a little bit. The medicine should not be taken on an empty stomach after all. There was also another reason for his hope however, one that was a little more selfish. He wanted to see the boy enjoy his lunch.

Every single time Wei Ying ate, it was crystal clear that it was something very enjoyable for him and Lan Wangji wanted to provide more of those moments. He was now particularly looking forward to the boy's reaction to the strawberries. They were one of his favourite ones even if he would never admit it to anyone. It was in the rules that one should not overindulge in worldly pleasures and Lan Wangji could already hear him uncle scolding him for being way too infatuated with the fruit.

He was satisfied when Wei Ying nodded and went to put the tray into his lap. Although, Lan Wangji was not entirely sure that the boy had any appetite from how his face did not light up instantly like any other time he had eaten anything in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Still, it would be great if he could eat at least a little bit, his body was fighting an illness and needed energy to do so.

Just to be sure that the boy would not misunderstand and not think he had to eat every single dish, Lan Wangji reminded him: "You do not have to eat if you are not hungry."

This made Wei Ying look at him with wide open eyes filled with wonder. Lan Wangji immediately knew that he had been right to say this, Wei Ying would have otherwise forced himself to please him. That would not do, the boy needed to be taken care of and protected, not forced to do anything. Despite his fever, he started eating with gusto.

When it looked like Wei Ying was starting to force himself after all, Lan Wangji repeated: "Only as much as Wei Ying wants."

He was feeling a little embarrassed saying it. After all, he did not have a small child in front of him, he should not be talking to the boy as if the other was a baby who did not know any better. However, Lan Wangji felt like it was necessary unless he wanted Wei Ying to misunderstand him. After all, he had already realized that communication was key in their interactions and that without him spelling everything out, the boy would assume the worst every single time. It was an uncomfortable thought, nevertheless, it was a truth that applied in full.

After his repeated reminder, Wei Ying abandoned the normal dishes and moved on to the dessert. He tasted the first strawberry and his eyes went wide once again and an expression of pure bliss bloomed on his face. He looked like a small child who had gotten a candy it loved. Lan Wangji had to smile indulgently at the picture. After the first fruit, Wei Ying was going faster now and finished all of the strawberries.

"Does Wei Ying like strawberries?" Lan Wangji could not help himself but to ask. He wanted to discover the boy's likes and dislikes so he would be able to spoil him rotten. Gods knew that Wei Ying needed that after what had happened and been done to him for the biggest part of his life. Once again, Lan Wangji's smile became bigger in response to the boy's enthusiastic nod.

He handed Wei Ying the bowl of medicine and watched as he quickly drank it. Good, now it was finally time for him to rest. "Wei Ying should sleep now," he prompted gently.

The boy obeyed immediately. He laid down and covered himself with the blanket. Lan Wangji could not help but to compare with the previous evening when Wei Ying had been so reluctant to only touch the bed. In a single day, it seemed like they have travelled such a long way. It was amazing, close to miraculous actually. It was the best thing that could happen.

Lan Wangji watched as the boy's eyes started closing on their own. He must have been tired after all, it was a good thing he was now able to sleep. Hopefully he would wake up only in the late afternoon, or in the morning even, and would feel much better. There was nothing like medicine, nutritious food and good rest to fight off a fever.

Wei Ying looked very peaceful as he was slowly drifting off to sleep. Lan Wangji just stood there, taking in the sight. He knew he should not be doing this, he should not be overstepping his bounds and staring at someone's sleeping face. And especially not with Wei Ying. Who knew what would happen if the boy suddenly woke up, perhaps from a nightmare, and would find someone so close to him? He could overreact and all the careful progress and relaxed atmosphere would be destroyed in a single heartbeat.

However, Lan Wangji could just not hold himself back. It was like watching a small child sleeping. Wei Ying's face was very peaceful and calm; it was extremely adorable and Lan Wangji just could not get enough.

Before he even realized what he was doing, he stretched his hand and patted the boy's head. In his sleepy state, Wei Ying did not reject him and nuzzled into his palm instead. This sent Lan Wangji's soul right out of his body from just how cute it was. It was such a great token of trust that it suddenly brought tears into his eyes.

"Sleep well, Wei Ying," he whispered close to the boy's ear.

He continued to stroke Wei Ying's hair for a while, even after he was sure the boy was already sleeping soundly. It felt like a miracle to be able to do this. Especially knowing how afraid Wei Ying had been of anyone touching him mere hours ago. It was the best gift Lan Wangji could ever ask for.