Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 32

Lan Wangji watched with wide open eyes how Lan Xichen, despite not knowing what had happened at all, had taken over the situation immediately after coming in the library. He had been ignoring the servant girl until now, fully focused on Wei Ying. His brother however noticed that even she had been greatly affected by the situation and immediately went to calm her down.

Lan Wangji heard him whispering reassurances to her before Lan Xichen send her out to rest. Lan Wangji was admiring his brother; he always had had but right now, he reached new levels of admiration still. If only he could be this eloquent and good with words. Surely in that case, he would have already managed to calm down both Wei Ying and the terrified servant girl. She must have been thinking that all of this had been her fault, she had even turned around in the door and looked at Wei Ying with worried eyes.

Lan Wangji quickly forgot about her though because Lan Xichen was already kneeling by his side, looking closely at the kowtowing Wei Ying. Lan Wangji never let go of the boy's hands and he was still tracing soothing circles on them. Not that it was making any visible difference, but he hoped it was at least keeping Wei Ying from outright panicking.

Lan Wangji turned to his brother, putting all of his emotions and his desperate plea for help into his eyes. Bless Lan Xichen for reading him correctly, just like always: "Wangji, what happened?"

Lan Wangji thought for a second. He was not sure how he should describe everything. If he should include all the events and also his assumptions and observations, he knew he would not be able to put all of those into words. Even though it was usually way easier talking with his brother than with anyone else, at this time, he did not feel like he could do it.

"Wangji, do not keep everything to yourself, please talk to me. I want to help Young Master Wei just as much as you do, I just need to know what had happened."

Lan Wangji took a deep breath, then one more, and again. He was trying to calm down his mind. Why was putting his thoughts into words so difficult for him? It did not seem to be a hard task for Lan Xichen, or Lan Qiren, or anyone else Lan Wangji knew – aside for Wei Ying of course, but that was a different story altogether. He had even managed to talk freely just moments ago! Where had his words disappeared off to right now, at a such a critical time too.

He closed his eyes and held Wei Ying's hand just a little tighter. He wanted to help the boy from the bottom of his heart. He knew that his brother could help, if only Lan Wangji would tell him what had happened. He needed to be strong for Wei Ying, he had to find a way to explain everything to Lan Xichen.

"We were reading. A servant came in and Wei Ying... Fever came back..." Lan Wangji's voice broke down in the end and he could only helplessly gesture to the still kowtowing boy with his chin.

Just like always, talking clearly was easier said than done. Even when Lan Wangji opened his mouth to explain, he only managed to put together a few words. It would most probably not be enough for Lan Xichen to understand anything. Why was it so hard to express himself properly? The words he wanted to say were all there, prepared in his mind, but they never made it out of his mouth.

He would have liked to explain more clearly, but even when he opened his mouth again, no more words came out of it. He felt as exhausted as if he had just run a marathon. And in a sense, perhaps it was true. With the emotional storm he had just been through in the last several minutes, it was no wonder for him to be worn out. If the current situation had affected him, an observer really, this much, he could not even phantom how exhausted was Wei Ying right now.

With one last desperate look at Lan Xichen, a plea for him to understand his feeble attempt at explaining and to provide assistance, Lan Wangji's eyes returned to the boy. He wanted to help, to do more, but he could not think of anything really.

Luckily, Lan Xichen seemed to have understood the situation after all, or at least getting a glimpse of it, something he could work with. He immediately lowered his voice into a gentle whisper and addressed the boy: "Young Master Wei, everything is fine. I am sure it was not your fault, please do not apologize for anything you had no control over. I assure you, no one is angry with you. No one will punish you here. You did nothing wrong, I am certain of it."

Lan Wangji could not hold back his admiration for his brother. Although Lan Xichen had come to a room after everything had happened and all he had seen was Wei Ying kowtowing on the ground, he could still say such words to reassure the boy. Lan Wangji had tried to do the same, he had tried to tell Wei Ying that nothing was wrong, that he was not angry. But Lan Xichen's words just sounded more reassuring than his own.

Their effect was immediate as well. Lan Wangji felt Wei Ying's hand relax under his palms. He could also hear the boy taking a shuddering breath. He had been right after all; Wei Ying had not been breathing properly! He was so relieved that he felt like his heart could finally start beating normally and his breathing calmed down in response to the boy's.

He should learn to speak like his brother, it would be good for both him and Wei Ying in the future. Since the boy could not talk – or would not because of his past trauma and the rules which had been pushed onto him for the longest time – Lan Wangji should really be able to be the one keeping the communication between them. There was no way he could stay like he was now, he needed to come out of his shell and speak when Wei Ying could not. He had to help him express himself.

"Do you feel like you could stand up? We should get you back to your own room. You should take the rest of the day off and calm down a little. There are no duties which are more important than your health." Lan Xichen proposed next, disturbing his younger brother from his thoughts.

Lan Wangji tugged at Wei Ying's hands, trying to help him up. He had been doing the same thing before, but the boy had just been too stiff and probably also too scared to heed to his urging. Right now though, he let himself be helped into a normal kneeling position. His hands, still held in Lan Wangji's, were put into his lap and his head was held so low Lan Wangji was afraid it would hurt his neck. Still though, it was better than him kowtowing.

"Good," Lan Xichen gave out a content hum, reassuring the boy further. The accumulated tension in Wei Ying's shoulders was slowly going away as well. Lan Wangji thought that his brother was in fact a magician. He himself had tried for so long to help Wei Ying relax, and yet, Lan Xichen managed that with just a few words. Lan Wangji should really learn from him, especially if he wanted to remain by Wei Ying's side.

He tugged at the boy's hands again. "Come," he urged. He winced a little bit at the shortness of his words. It was so far from Lan Xichen's eloquent speech that he almost felt embarrassed.

Still, it seemed to have perked Wei Ying up as the boy lifted his head ever so slightly and stood up with Lan Wangji's help. Lan Xichen was already on his way to the door when Lan Wangji noticed how Wei Ying glanced back to the table where laid his unfinished book. He reached out his hand towards the table and took the book with him.

Wei Ying's eyes were following his every motion. Lan Wangji felt out of place and had a strong urge to explain himself, at least the slightest bit. "You did not finish reading," he whispered in the end, actually surprised that he had managed a full sentence.

Then, with his ears getting hot for no reason at all, he followed after his brother out of the library, too embarrassed to look at the boy. Wei Ying walked at the end of their little procession. However, when Lan Wangji slowed his pace and waited for him, the boy had seemingly no hesitation to start walking by his side. It was good, thought Lan Wangji, at least he was not so scared anymore. Lan Xichen truly was the best, what would Lan Wangji do without him?