Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 66

Lan Wangji was looking down at a completely broken down Wei Ying who was silently – or not so silently anymore since he was sniffling loudly despite not making any other sounds – crying in his arms. After the initial shock was over, the boy snuggled closer to him, burying his face completely in the front of Lan Wangji's robes, and clung to him as if his life depended on it. And perhaps in the boy's eyes, it actually did, no one but Wei Ying would be able to say this for sure.

Not knowing what else to do, Lan Wangji only continued holding the trembling body tightly and whispering reassurances without cease. He had no other words than those he had already said, but he still continued repeating them, whispering into the boy's ear: "Wei Ying is safe here. I will always stay by your side. No one will hurt you here. You do not have to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor if you do not want to. You are safe, I will protect you, always."

The situation was similar to last evening when the boy has also broken down like this. But it was completely different at the same time. Back then, the crying had been a lot shorter in duration and also had not sounded this helpless and pained. It had not been this heart wrenching and Wei Ying had not let himself be comforted too much. This time though, he was clinging to Lan Wangji desperately.

If the second young master of the Cloud Recesses Manor wanted to find something positive in all of this, it would be that the boy was actually seeking comfort himself. Sure, Lan Wangji had to offer it first, but after that, Wei Ying reached for him with all his might and refused to let go. Not that Lan Wangji would let him go either way, not when he so desperately needed to be held just like this and let out all of the pain he had been hiding inside for the longest time. Even if it would take days, Lan Wangji was determined to sit here, hug the boy and whisper reassurances until Wei Ying would believe him and calm down.

It was breaking Lan Wangji's heart to see the boy in so much pain and not being able to do more to help him. As things stood, he was pretty certain that Wei Ying had hardly ever, if ever at all, been able to let himself go like this in the past. It was more probable that he had never dared to show his pain and his vulnerable side like this, too afraid to be punished or mocked for it.

He was infinitely glad that Wei Ying was comfortable enough here in the Cloud Recesses Manor to finally show his true emotions and not fear the consequences of opening up his vulnerable heart. Or perhaps he feared them and simply could no longer hold onto his indifferent mask? As true as this notion could be, Lan Wangji actually did not believe it to be the case. It looked just too real in his eyes; and the way the boy was clinging to him was the most desperate call for help he had ever seen.

If the boy was comfortable enough to break down like this, it could only be a good thing, Lan Wangji was trying to persuade himself. If Wei Ying kept all his pain inside, it would just weight on his heart and cloud his mind, making it impossible for him to believe that things had truly changed for him. Like this, after he would cry out all his pains and hurts, hopefully he would be able to finally see that Lan Wangji and his whole family, and everyone in the Cloud Recesses Manor, wanted to help him with everything they got.

Still, it was terrible to watch. Wei Ying was shivering all over and gasping for breath in between his sobs. There was also another thing that Lan Wangji noticed, it made him frown a little bit. The boy's body seemed way too bony for his age. As if he had never gotten much to eat to begin with. Which was most probably true seeing how grateful he had been for a simple piece of freshly baked bread. Lan Wangji nodded to himself, this was just another item on a long list of things he was determined to change for the better.

Gradually, the shaking of the boy's body became less and less. At first, it alarmed Lan Wangji, he did not know what was happening and was worried that it was nothing good. However, he quickly realized that he would not have to wait for days for the boy to calm down, Wei Ying had cried himself to sleep. He must have been tired from the overwhelming tornado of emotions and also still weak because of the earlier fever. His breath was still hiccupping a little, but his body went slack and his head rolled to a side, laying more or less comfortably on Lan Wangji's chest, and his eyes were closed as well.

Lan Wangji could not tell how much time had passed and he did not care to know either. He would give Wei Ying all the time he needed, always. The boy's face was covered in dried and fresh tears, just as the front of Lan Wangji's robes, they were soaking wet. However, that was the last thing the second young master of the Cloud Recesses Manor was worrying about. He was watching Wei Ying intently, looking for any signs of continued distress.

It was this moment that his brother chose to remind him of his presence. "Wangji," he whispered so low key that it was only barely audible, surely not so loud it would disturb Wei Ying's sleep, "are you alright?"

What an odd question, thought Lan Wangji. After seeing another human being breaking down in so much pain, how could Lan Wangji be fine? How could he not sympathise and worry? How could he not be enraged and want to go raid anyone who had ever dared to hurt Wei Ying? Of course he was not alright, and of course his brother saw that. So why was he asking in the first place?

It was only then that Lan Wangji realized there was something wet on his face as well, running down his cheeks to his chin and then falling onto Wei Ying's robes. He was shocked speechless by the fact that he was crying as well.

It was the first time he was shedding tears ever since the moment his mother had passed away. It was the first time in a very long time that he felt so many emotions and let them show this openly. It seemed like Wei Ying's pain had lifted the floodgates of his own tears. However, Lan Wangji was not ashamed or remorseful that he was breaking his uncle's rules, all he felt was immense pain which needed a way to escape his chest or it would become impossible to breathe. He wondered if Wei Ying had felt the same and that had been why he had cried so pitifully just now.

He did not acknowledge his brother's question anymore. His eyes were once again glued on the boy's face as Lan Wangji was trying to calm his hurting heart and was swearing to the heavens that from now on, he would not let anything happen to the fragile being that Wei Ying was. He did nothing to stop the tears, the boy deserved someone crying for him, was sad and enraged on his behalf when he himself could not have done that for the longest time, perhaps never.