Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 98

Lan Qiren was sitting at the desk in his study which was just next to his rooms. He had been awake for quite a while already even if the morning gong had only rung minutes ago. He had slept quite poorly tonight and he was supporting his head with his hand, trying to chase away a budding headache. He was carefully sipping tea that he had brewed himself since it had been too early for even servants to be awake. And either way, he would not call anyone over for something like this. He could prepare his own tea, thank you very much.

The reason of his poor night's sleep was also connected to this. More specifically to someone who was acting like a servant even though he should not be. He still had quite a hard time coming to terms with everything he had discovered about Wei Wuxian in the past two days. He had already understood he had been misled and betrayed by Jiang Fengmian, and he accepted the fact that his old friend would need to face the consequences of his choices.

What he could not understand though was why he would do something like that to a child. For Wei Wuxian had been just a small child who had barely outgrown his toddler years when he had been taken in by the Jiangs. Going by what Jiang Yanli had said, the boy had not been given even a full half a year before the abuse started. Lan Qiren could simply not understand how could anyone be so cruel.

Not that it would have been any better if the Jiangs had made Wei Wuxian a slave when he had been a little older. It was still inhumane and no one would even think about putting a member of their own family through something like that. And repeatedly, as if they had no hearts and no mercy for a child they had taken in themselves. Not that it would have been fine if it happened only once, it was still unpardonable to sell one's own child into slavery for their proper gain.

And for what exactly? This was what was making Lan Qiren's head hurt the most, he just could not put his finger on the reason of this whole situation. He could not find anything which would ever justify selling Wei Wuxian into servitude. If he was in a tight spot and his family threatened, he would be the first to go down to assure his nephews would be able to save themselves. For Jiang Fengmian however, it seemed like he did exactly the opposite: he had sent one of his children to take the burnt of everything.

Lan Qiren knew by now, and perhaps he had sensed it even in the past but just refused to see it, that the Jiangs did not think of Wei Wuxian as one of their children despite the fact they had been the ones who had taken him in. Every part of Lan Qiren's heart was revolving against such a treatment. He could not imagine offering shelter to a child in need and then so utterly breaking his very soul. In his mind, there were only a few things a human could do to another which were worse than this.

He closed his eyes to avoid going down the spiral of guilt and self-blame. It was still hard for him to swallow the fact that he had misjudged Wei Wuxian so much earlier. He had let his mind be clouded by his preconceptions and refused to see the truth of things until it was almost too late. Now, he could only hope that there was still time to save and rebuilt his relationship with the boy.

Yes, today, he would tempt his chances and face Wei Wuxian as a new person. He was sure Lan Wangji had already relayed his message about allowing the boy to study together with his nephew. He had high hopes this could be the first step in the right direction. He was extending a white flag of peace to Wei Wuxian and now it would be up to the boy if he would be willing to take the offering or would not want to have anything in common with Lan Qiren anymore. In either case, the elder would not be angry with him, it was Wei Wuxian's decision to make. The truth stayed clear, Lan Qiren had not seen his pain earlier and he could not blame the boy for resenting him for it.

A second morning gong rang and Lan Qiren lifted his head from his palm. It was time for breakfast. After the meal, the master of the Cloud Recesses Manor wanted to try and talk with Wei Wuxian face to face. He was still feeling guilty for overlooking the boy's pain all those years ago when he had had the opportunity to save him from the Lotus Pier Manor if only he had looked closer at him. He could have spared Wei Wuxian a decade of suffering and conditioning, but he had done literally nothing, blinded by his own impression of the boy and rumours which must have been circulated by the Jiang family themselves.

Yes, Lan Qiren still owed Wei Wuxian an apology. He could have not presented it yesterday as the boy had been sick. He hoped that today, he would get the opportunity to tell him the words he had prepared and show him his sincerity to help him. Just as Lan Xichen had advised, he had to be straightforward and patient, open and honest, when dealing with Wei Wuxian. He could not let the boy misunderstand him and continue fearing him.

And even if all his efforts failed, Lan Qiren would still at least like to assure Wei Wuxian that he was welcomed in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Even if the boy would not want to have anything in common with Lan Qiren and would avoid him in the future, it was no reason to let him believe he was not safe here. Just like other victims of abuse and slavery, Wei Wuxian would be offered all the support and time to heal from his terrible experience.

Lan Qiren quickly finished his cup of tea and stood up. He schooled his expression and willed himself to forget about his headache. He could not appear irritated or menacing when facing Wei Wuxian. He had already scared the boy enough during his time in the Cloud Recesses Manor. He now had to behave better, be more careful, and hopefully inspire trust in the boy.

He wanted dearly to turn back time to the first moment he had seen Wei Wuxian at the gates of the Cloud Recesses Manor. He wanted to tell himself from several days ago to look closer at the boy and not to judge him based on rumours, to see his scared reaction and to sooth him and reassure him instead of scowling and throwing harsh word at him.

He truly had much to make up for. He knew it would not be easy but he still wished Wei Wuxian would be able to become comfortable around him eventually. Seeing how the boy had already slightly warmed up to Lan Wangji, there was hope in Lan Qiren's heart. Nothing was lost yet and he knew Wei Wuxian's mind had not been broken so thoroughly it could never be mended again. Lan Qiren was determined to play a role in his recovery.