Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 19

When Lan Wangji opened the door to the library and gestured to him to go inside first, Wei Wuxian froze for a second. His mind was once again working against him. He could not understand why his master would want him to enter first and he was imagining all kinds of outcomes of him walking in front of the other.

He had to make a conscious attempt at calming himself down. It was Lan Wangji who was standing in front of the library with him, there was nothing for him to fear. He knew that this master of his would not punish him by beatings or something overly harsh. Lan Wangji was kind and good, perhaps too much so when it came to someone like Wei Wuxian. He had to remember his previous thoughts about this matter and the fragile trust he was putting in the other. He felt safe when he was with Lan Wangji.

He moved his eyes a little bit up, making sure he would not lift his head in the process. He knew he was still about to be punished but that was fine. It had been his fault for sleeping on his job and for dropping priceless books. He should be forbidden to even come anywhere close to the library. And still, his ever so benevolent master was taking him inside nevertheless.

The worst that could happen would be Lan Wangji telling him he could not come there anymore, which was something that Wei Wuxian had already expected so it would not be too strange. And perhaps his master would once again find pity in him and would actually not forbid him access to the room. He could instead ask him to clean it or let him come inside but only not be able to touch the books. That would be very kind of him, Wei Wuxian would be able to at least read their titles and imagine what they were written about. That would surely be much more fun than he ever deserved.

He had literally nothing to fear. He knew the worst case scenario so things could only be better from then on. He was convinced that his master would not let his hopes be crushed. Realizing this, Wei Wuxian's breathing calmed down and he heeded to his master's command and entered the room.

Just as the first time he had been here, he felt completely overwhelmed. He loved the place already and he would hate to be forbidden to come here anymore. He was praying to his master to not take away his free access. If he could not read, he wanted to at least watch. Back in Lotus Pier, when he had been just a small child and not the servant of the household yet, he had liked the library the best. Madame Yu could never found him there and he could have enjoyed some peace and quiet for a few minutes or hours. Such a place almost felt sacred to him in a sense.

"Wei Ying?"

He immediately snapped out of his thoughts and started paying attention to his master. He knew what would come now and he was trying to prepare his heart. He was half resigned and half hopeful, hoping that Lan Wangji would prove merciful once again. He glanced at him from between his eyelashes and was attempting to judge his mood and what he would say next. What kind of possibility would Wei Wuxian be facing?

Before his master told him his verdict, there was a sudden knocking on the door. Lan Wangji immediately turned away from staring at him and invited whoever was outside of the room to come in. Wei Wuxian did not move from his spot and only tried to make himself as small as possible, he did not want to hinder the other servant's duties. From a corner of his eye, he watched as the girl set down a steaming pot of tea on a table on the side of the room.

His eyes went wide open when she bowed first to Lan Wangji – which would have been just fine and polite – and then to him. It shocked him speechless. Did the girl not realize that he was just another servant like her, or even someone of a lower status? He should be bowing to her and not the other way around.

He suddenly remembered how nice had been a servant in the kitchen to him already and he wondered if the Lans had not forgotten to alert their servants about his presence. And not in a sense that he was one of the young masters in the mansion but that he was way below them and that they should not even talk to him. There was something very confusing about this whole situation and Wei Wuxian could just not put his finger on it. It was truly unnerving.

His head was going around in circles for so long that the next thing he knew, Lan Wangji was already sitting down at the low table and pouring himself a cup of tea. Wei Wuxian's soul went immediately small, he had once again failed his duties. He should be the one to serve tea to his master. He was even more horrified when Lan Wangji actually did not stop after filling one of the cups on the table but proceeded to the second one.

Wei Wuxian was observing him and despite the tense situation and his feeling of a failure, he actually had to admire the way Lan Wangji was pouring the tea. It looked so elegant and precise. Wei Wuxian would never be able to get to that level of elegance and expertise in his whole lifetime. Regrettably, it was all over way too soon and his master put the pot back down onto the table. Wei Wuxian was asking himself who would be joining him for the tea.

Instead of starting to drink or putting his hands down and waiting for his visitor, Lan Wangji looked straight at him. It could not be, right? His master could not be wanting to drink the tea with him, the lowliest of the lowly servants?

However, it seemed like the miracles for the day had not been all exhausted. Lan Wangji's next words and the inviting gesture did not let him wonder anymore: "Wei Ying, come have tea with me."

Wei Wuxian froze for the third time in the span of several minutes, it was getting too stressful for him. He started overthinking everything again, asking himself if there was any catch in the invitation. A number of terrible things could happen both if he accepted and refused to go sit down and have tea with his master. He could be offending him by anything. It was too hard to decide. But then, he remembered another instance of a similar situation.

Was this perhaps the way that the Lans were dealing with conversations with servants? Lan Xichen had also invited him to join him and his other main family members for tea when he had been explaining his duties in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Not that Wei Wuxian actually recalled that conversation too well, his head had been spinning and he could not have paid too much attention at that time. It was still stressing him out not knowing exactly what the Lans were expecting from him.

Was Lan Wangji finally about to clear things up for him and give him his duties properly? After all, he had been assigned to be his companion, whatever that meant. He suddenly became very happy that he would finally know for sure what Lan Wangji was expecting him to do and not do.

As such, his worries had disappeared as if by magic and he went to join his master without too much stress. Still, he made sure to not do any wrong moves or to be prepared if his master would change his mind and tell him he was not welcomed after all.

Lan Wangji did no such thing and Wei Wuxian sat down and bowed his head politely. He made no move to reach for the cup, still uncertain if he was actually expected to drink it or if it was just for show. He felt very out of place right now and did not know how to navigate such situations, just like yesterday when it had been Lan Xichen who had offered him a cup of tea.

Bless Lan Wangji for understanding his internal dilemma and clearing it for him. "Drink," he prompted ever so gently and Wei Wuxian was more than happy to comply. He knew that if his master said so, it was fine to enjoy the tea.

He only realized that he had been cold and thirsty when he was holding the warm cup in his hands. He drowned it in a single go and then held it for a little longer to keep his hands from getting cold. A small tremor went thought his whole body and he knew that his fever was most probably coming back.

He did his best to hide it, his master should not see him begging for any more attention and care from him than Wei Wuxian had already received. Lan Wangji was so kind that he would surely immediately tell him to go back to his room and would even accompany him there just like yesterday. Perhaps he would even give Wei Wuxian some more of that expensive medicine. He could not trouble him so. He was just fine like this and the tea would help in just a second.