Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 15

When Mo Xuanyu was walking back to join Jiang Yanli, he noticed how her eyes became sad as she was following Lan Wangji and her brother out of the courtyard. It almost seemed like she wanted to run after them but did not dare to. Mo Xuanyu could understand that, he also did not want to disturb them and rob Wei Wuxian of his good time.

They both had to be patient and let his friend spread his wings a little before overwhelming him with care and offers for help. Lan Wangji was enough for now and Wei Wuxian was comfortable around him. Mo Xuanyu was afraid that if they would try too hard to show him he was welcomed here in the Cloud Recesses Manor and change his behaviour too abruptly, Wei Wuxian would just be confused. He had had it much worse than Mo Xuanyu so it made sense it would take him longer to recover and start trusting all hard times were behind him.

It also made sense that Jiang Yanli would realize this as well, she was Wei Wuxian's sister after all and had had to witness what had been done to him over the years. That must have been why she was now suddenly so sad. It was breaking Mo Xuanyu's heart as well seeing Wei Wuxian this hopeful yet vulnerable.

He came closer to her, determined to help her in any way he could. A shared pain was a lesser pain as he had learned not too long ago. And if talking to her and distracting her was the only thing he could actually do, he would do so with investing himself fully to his task. It would have been better if he could put A-Yuan down for a proper nap in his room and then care about Jiang Yanli, but he knew that she needed him right then. He was fine with holding the child for a while longer, not that the toddler would mind too much.

He tried his best to be polite and supportive when he offered his help: "Miss Jiang, what will you do now? Can I help you in any way?"

It took him by surprise when instead of asking him for anything, Jiang Yanli was actually trying to get to know him. He had not introduced himself, he did not have to since Jiang Yanli was a mistress of an important family and he was just a servant in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Their standing was not the same so it would be fine for her to call him whatever she wished.

Even the addressing of 'young master' sounded out of place to him, he was no master of anything. He might have been if things had gone differently, he was after all a bastard of Jin Guangshan so if his father had ever accepted him officially, he could have been part of the Jin family. However, as things stood, he was nothing but a rescued servant that Lan Xichen deemed pitiful enough to take under his wing.

And so he introduced himself while bowing as best as he could with A-Yuan still sleeping in his arms: "Miss Jiang is very thoughtful. I am Mo Xuanyu. But Miss Jiang should not call me 'young master', I am just a servant here in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Please feel free to use just my name when you call on me in the future."

He had expected that Jiang Yanli would understand his point and respect their different social standing. He was literally a nobody and he did not mind to remain just that. He had already found happiness in the Cloud Recesses Manor and as long as A-Yuan would want to spend time with him, he would not want anything more.

That was why Jiang Yanli's words shocked him beyond belief: "Young Master Mo, it is a pleasure to get to know you. Thank you for your kind offer. I do not know the Cloud Recesses Manor yet; I would appreciate if you could show me back to my room."

In retrospect, he should have perhaps been prepared for her to not accept his servant status as something because of which she should treat him any differently than she had been until now. He should have known from the way she interacted with her brother who was in a similar position as him. But still, the fact that she insisted on calling him 'young master' even after he had corrected her, going so far to accentuate those words so there would be no mistake, Mo Xuanyu was in awe.

Suddenly, he realized that Jiang Yanli was so similar to Lan Xichen in a way that she refused to use his lowly status of a servant against him. He barely knew her and he already could tell that he did not want her to ever look at him in any other way. He liked her instantly from the first second she had talked this morning while asking to be brought to the infirmary.

His mind was in a haze. He did not understand what was wrong with him, he felt like he wanted to spend more time with her. It confused him greatly because he had never had such feelings when speaking with Lan Xichen. He liked the heir of the Cloud Recesses Manor very much, do not get him wrong. Lan Xichen was his benefactor and saviour, of course he owed him a great debt and was eternally grateful to him for treating him with kindness that even his own family would not extend to him. But he would never dream to be anything more in his eyes but just a rescue servant whom he would forget soon. When it came to Jiang Yanli however, his feelings were vastly different.

When he realized that he actually liked her, not in the same sense of the word as he felt indebted to Lan Xichen for speaking kindly to him, he blushed. He immediately looked down to the ground in an attempt at hiding his embarrassment. This feeling was completely new to him and he did not know how to interpret it. It was sweet and warm, yet very confusing.

He was still suddenly strangely embarrassed. He should not be looking so far up where usually someone of his standing would not be able to reach. While his life in the Cloud Recesses Manor was different then at the Jins', he was still no young master and should not be even thinking about having anything in common with Jiang Yanli, much less craving for her attention and her kind words.

He could feel Jiang Yanli's eyes on him and he was all fuzzy and warm inside. He did not even know what he was saying when he finally opened his mouth, not wanting to let her wait for his reply: "Of course. If Miss Jiang would like to, I could show her around the mansion as well. I only need to get A-Yuan back to his room to sleep comfortably."

He realized only too late what he had just proposed. He wondered where exactly he had found the courage to talk to her like that. Perhaps he had been influenced by Wei Wuxian who had dared to change in front of Lan Wangji and he believed that he could try the same when it came to Jiang Yanli. He believed that she was different from the people in the Koi Tower Manor. She would surely not mock him for being who he was, would she?

He just wanted to help her and at the same time, get to spend some more time with her. Hopefully, she would not find anything strange in that and would not believe the rumours flying around. If she had ever heard them at all which Mo Xuanyu was starting to doubt. She approached him without any preconceptions and she was kind to him and polite. She could not have known about his past, could she? The thought that he could have someone like her as a friend – even though he knew fully well he was getting ahead of himself – was washing away all his negative feelings.

He was even happier when she smiled at him as an angel and accepted his offer to show her the Cloud Recesses Manor. He wondered if it would be too presumptuous of him to want to talk to her while he would be walking around with her. He wanted to hear even more of her kind words.