Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 96

The first thing Lan Wangji thought about when he opened his eyes, right as the first morning gong rung to wake him up, was how Wei Wuxian was faring today. He hoped the boy did not regress overnight, either because of insecurities that Lan Wangji could not have immediately soothed away or because of some bad dreams which would make him doubt everything what had been said the day before.

He could barely wait to go see him and confirm whether Wei Ying would still give him that oh so precious and bright smile from yesterday's evening. He did not know if he would be able to bear it should the boy not trust him anymore and act around him as cautious, and scared as he had been on his first day in the Cloud Recesses Manor. That would be just too painful and heart-breaking. Lan Wangji wanted Wei Ying to never again go through anything painful in his life. Which, realistically speaking, he knew was impossible but the sentiment was undeniably there, rooted deep in his heart.

He put on his clothes with more haste than normally and took his first step towards the door, eager as never to go check on Wei Ying. His heart was already hammering like crazy in his chest and his mind was in a disarray, supplying continuously alternating images of a happily smiling Wei Ying and a Wei Ying who was bowing to him and trembling in utter terror. The images were changing quickly and he could not fend them off even while knowing fully well he would not be able to confirm either possibility before actually seeing the boy for himself.

He hesitated for several seconds with his hand on the door handle. It was very early, perhaps the boy was still sleeping or preparing himself for the day? The last thing Lan Wangji wanted was to walk to his room and put any pressure on him that he should hurry with getting up. After all, Wei Ying had had a fever yesterday again and he was wary of doing something which would make it come back.

After a few breaths however, he could not wait anymore. He was too nervous and too worried. He decided to go to Wei Ying's room after all. Hopefully, the boy had gotten up with the morning gong and had had enough time to put on his robes, for everything else, Lan Wangji did not see any problems that Wei Ying could not finish his preparations after he had checked on him.

Moreover, he remembered Wei Ying had been already waiting for him yesterday when Lan Wangji got out of his room. True, back then, the boy had still believed he was his personal servant and had probably feared he would be punished or scolded if he was not at his service at all times. Nevertheless, it meant Wei Ying would probably be awake by now.

Eager once again, Lan Wangji did not wait for anything else and opened the door. Instead of seeing an empty hallway as he had been expecting, there was a person standing right in front of him. Of course, who else could it be but Wei Ying?

He did not know in the first moment whether he should be happy or worried. While it was good that he had now confirmed the boy was ready for the day and that he would not be disturbing him, he had a bad feeling when he saw him waiting in the same spot as yesterday. His eyes quickly scanned Wei Ying to see if he was alright this morning or if he had gone back to his previous self by any chance.

He gave out a sigh of relief when he saw the boy's posture was not hunched into itself and his shoulders were relaxed. It was also a relief that he was not bowing to him, only his head was slightly tilted forward, as if he was still acting all shy or was afraid of his reaction. Lan Wangji thought about it for a second. Should he consider this normal or was Wei Ying feeling like he had to act deferentially around him still? Luckily, it seemed to be the former as the next moment, the boy lifted his head to look directly at him.

Lan Wangji's heart skipped a beat and he could not stop staring, not that he was trying all that hard anyway, when he was around Wei Ying, he felt like he could let go of himself and show his emotions more openly than ever. Then, the corners of lips turned upwards. He was mirroring the very small but impossibly sweet and gentle smile that he saw adorning Wei Ying's face. His heart was now fluttering in his chest from excitement and happiness, the boy had not regressed to his old self overnight.

It was such a relief Lan Wangji almost staggered on his feet. He stopped himself though, afraid he would make the boy worry about him. Even if Wei Ying was seemingly more open and less stressed than before, Lan Wangji knew for a fact that this change for the better was still very new and fragile and the progress could be lost at any moment. Just one wrong word or action could make the boy start acting all cautious and deferential again. He did not want to risk anything and decided to be as careful as he possibly could.

He counted it as a small victory when Wei Ying did not lower his head again and only continued giving him that small shy smile of his. It was in reality barely an upturning of his lips, visible only if one was looking for it. Nevertheless, it was still a smile and Lan Wangji would do anything to keep it from disappearing.

"Good morning, Wei Ying," he greeted when he finally found his bearings and was sure his voice would not crack with emotions.

As expected, the boy did not return his greeting in any audible way but the wide, happy smile which Lan Wangji had gotten was a response in its own right. His heart warmed, especially when he saw Wei Ying's cheeks becoming a little red. Not from fever this time though, he thought, it was because of happiness. If something like a simple greeting could make the boy give such a reaction, Lan Wangji was determined to truly make him spoiled rotten.

He forcibly pushed away all other more disturbing thoughts. Especially the ones which were making him wonder yet again how terribly Wei Ying must have been treated by everyone before coming to the Cloud Recesses Manor. If a simple morning greeting made him this happy, it was a clear sign he had not been given many of those in the past.

No, Lan Wangji told himself, he would not let his mind wander into that direction. It was all in the past and he would make sure Wei Ying would never have to experience anything even slightly similar. He would take care of the boy and protect him just as he had promised.

As he had finally gotten over the pleasant shock of having Wei Ying beam at him, he nodded his head, showing he understood the gesture and appreciated it. The boy needed all the reassurance he could get in order to encourage him to initiate more interactions and to start trying to communicate with Lan Wangji more often.

Even if Wei Ying was still not able to use his voice, there was no need to rush, they could take this slowly and have him get used to it gradually. Lan Wangji hoped that one day, the fear the boy had of letting his voice out would disappear completely and he would be able to talk to him freely. However, he also knew that it would not be neither quick nor easy to have him relax to such an extent. After all, Jiang Yanli had said it herself, Wei Ying had been punished too many times for talking and he must have been terrified of speaking now. It was sad but nothing time, repeated reassurances and a lot of kindness would not be able to fix.

"Let us go get breakfast."

The boy immediately nodded and joined him by his side. The smile never disappeared from his face and Lan Wangji could not help but to coo internally and silently praise the boy for this change. It must have required a lot of trust for Wei Ying to start acting like this around him and the efforts were definitely not lost on Lan Wangji.