Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 59

Wei Wuxian was going through the small woods where the dogs' kennels were hidden from plain sight. As he approached, his steps were slower and slower and he started shaking violently. He could not help himself, only the thought of being already this close to those vile creatures was making his heart beat like crazy and his lungs gasping for breath frantically. He did not want to go any closer.

However, he knew that his feelings were completely irrelevant. He had to follow his masters' orders to the letter. After all, this was one of the first duties he had received here in the Cloud Recesses Manor. He had to do it well.

He could only hope that being this late, the animals would not be going crazy with hunger. He already had an experience of this occurrence from the Nightless City Manor, from when he had first been ordered to take care of the guard dogs there. They had been already very wild and bloodthirsty seeing that they were supposed to fight off unwanted intruders, but hunger had made them even viler.

Wei Wuxian shivered at the memory. Back then, Wen Chao had quickly understood that Wei Wuxian had been terrified of the creatures and purposefully let them starve for two days. In this way, he had wanted to teach Wei Wuxian to be quick in doing his duties. Needless to say, it worked in the end; he had practiced every day after all and it had not even taken two weeks and numerous bite wounds and terror filled sleepless nights for him to learn to really be as quick as possible while maintaining the level or precision that Wen Chao required.

He knew rationally that the Cloud Recesses Manor's dogs were different. If he had not been terrified of them in the first place, he would perhaps be able to even say they were actually friendly. They had never once bit him, even though some had growled menacingly at him, influenced by his nervousness and fear. Not that Wei Wuxian could have helped this, after spending years on the streets fighting stray dogs for scraps of food, he would never be able to get over his fear.

Well, better get it over with as soon as possible then, he thought. He willed himself to start moving again. The faster he would get this done, the faster he would be able to see Lan Wangji again. He could already not wait to be near his benevolent and kind master. He knew that nothing would hurt him as long as he would be by his side, including any dogs.

"Young Master Wei," came suddenly from behind him. Wei Wuxian froze on the spot, not knowing what was about to happen and scared almost out of his mind.

It took Wei Wuxian's terrified and confused head a second to realize who was calling him. He recognized Lan Xichen's voice. But then came another question, why was his master here? His first thought was if he had done something bad or made another mistake that his master was not about to tolerate anymore. He quickly went through his memories but could not find anything too offending this time. He was certain that Lan Xichen would not punish him just for anything.

The only other option would be that he came to check on Wei Wuxian performing his duties. True, the masters of the Cloud Recesses Manor had yet to see his work, they must have been waiting to confirm if he was up to the tasks and performed them satisfactorily. Aside for Su She, they had yet to do that.

Wei Wuxian relaxed slightly. This was nothing out of the ordinary, he would just have to make sure that he would not screw anything up. He had to be on his best behaviour. Which would be somewhat difficult when he would be surrounded by hungry dogs, but he knew he could do it. He had to. The threat of him being send back to the Lotus Pier Manor for not being a proper servant who lived up to his masters' standards was still very real in his mind.

The next moment however, his breath was figuratively knocked out of lungs when Lan Xichen reassured him, ever so gently as only he, Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli would do: "Young Master Wei, do not worry, I am not angry with you."

He guessed that already himself since he had not done anything too terrible and he was by now sure that the Lans were not easily irritated and were not taking pleasure from punishing him all the time. It warmed his heart to hear it nevertheless. He could barely believe that now he had such great and kind masters, it still felt like a dream, but a very real one as he had already concluded. He wanted to do his best to be able to remain in the Cloud Recesses Manor for as long as he would be permitted to. He however did not have an opportunity to relax as he knew what was waiting for him.

As if the dogs wanted to remind him of his duties as well, there was loud barking in the distance. Wei Wuxian did his best not to flinch. But he could still not control his reaction perfectly and his body started trembling all over more violently. He hoped that his master would not mind too much. As long as he could perform his duties satisfactorily, everything would be fine he was telling himself in an effort to calm his racing heart.

Before he could turn around and continue with his duties though, Lan Xichen asked him perhaps the most peculiar question ever: "Young Master Wei, had someone ordered you to come here?"

Wei Wuxian stared at him in between his eyelashes and was wondering why Lan Xichen would want him to confirm this. He should have known that Lan Qiren had told him to take care of the animals, and unfortunately, dogs just happened to be the ones he had been assigned to. At least for now, he was sure that it would not stay only with them. He hoped it would not.

Although it would be much harder work to take care of other animals as well, he would be thankful for the minute escape from reality. He could let himself go when he was with animals and he could relax as nowhere else; aside for Lan Wangji's side that was. However, the reality he was living right now was the farthest from bad he could imagine. It felt more like a paradise so there was no longer need for him to escape to his own world anymore.

Still, Lan Xichen asked him a question and Wei Wuxian did not want to make him wait for the answer. He nodded his head once and waited for his master to finally tell him to turn around and go face the dreaded, surely hungry beasts.

Lan Xichen did no such thing though. He only watched him with unreadable eyes, it was making Wei Wuxian nervous. Then, after what felt like an eternity of scrutinizing, his master asked the most peculiar question yet: "Do you want to go any further?"

Wei Wuxian's mind went instantly blank, he could not figure out why Lan Xichen would ask something like this. His own feeling did not matter so what need was there for his master to want to know them? And yet, Wei Wuxian did not immediately start thinking about what could happen if he chose the incorrect answer. No, on the contrary really. He remembered how Lan Xichen had asked him at the dinner yesterday if he had been feeling good. This master actually cared about him for some reason.

His mind was still in a surprised and confused haze when Lan Xichen reassured once again: "Young Master Wei? I promise not to be angry no matter what your answer may be."

Wei Wuxian's mouth fell a little open at this point. Not only did his master apparently genuinely wanted to know what was going through Wei Wuxian's head, he also reassured him and wanted him to relax. This was impossible with the dogs being so close he could hear them barking from time to time, but it was still the most care he had ever received from anyone, there were only a few exceptions to this rule.

Wei Wuxian wondered if it would change anything should he answer that he did not want to go tend to the dogs. Would Lan Xichen think he was trying to run away from his duties and ship him right back to the Lotus Pier Manor? No, he would probably not do this seeing that he had assured him he would not be mad. But what would he do if Wei Wuxian said he did not want to proceed? That was a real mystery to him.

His brain apparently decided to find an answer to on its own by making him nod unconsciously. He only realized he had done that when he had actually finished the movement, when it was already late to take anything back. He could now only lower his head and wait for Lan Xichen's reaction, no matter what it would be.

He was expecting many things but his master telling him they should not go to the dogs' kennels and then ordering him to follow him back to the mansion was surely not one of those options. Still, he was only too happy to comply and get away from the barking creatures as soon as possible, if only for a brief instant.