Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 72

Lan Wangji was still drowning in the depths of Wei Ying's eyes which were filled with so many emotions and adoration that he did not know how else to react. It was clear that the boy had somehow come to trust him even though Lan Wangji hardly did anything to earn such boundless devotion. True, he had tried but with how things went and with so many events when Lan Wangji could not do close to anything for the boy, he would have never thought that Wei Ying would still somehow come to trust him.

He was however not about to reject it. Of course not, he fully realized that what he had been offered must have cost a lot to Wei Ying and that it was the most precious thing Lan Wangji had ever received. He was happy that the boy was finally coming out of his shell, no matter who or what had prompted him to do so. It was a good thing, great even, and there was no way he was going to question it.

The smile on Wei Ying's lips was the biggest Lan Wangji saw yet. It actually resembled the one he had received once upon a time, when he had visited the Lotus Pier Manor as a child. It was blinding even and he was fighting with himself; although it was not a real dilemma what he should do, of course he was not about to close his eyes and stop looking even if he felt like he would be blinded. It was a rare sight and Lan Wangji wanted to burn it into his memory.

He hoped that Wei Ying would be able to smile freely from now on and never show an aggrieved or scared expression, nevertheless, he already knew that it would be hard to accomplish quickly. For now, he had to take everything in and store that smile for later, until the boy would become his old always grinning self. If that would ever happen. The boy had been through so much that freeing him of all his burdens would perhaps be impossible, or at least take years and years.

With his heart heavy but determined to not let anything show on his face, Lan Wangji leaned down a little bit and caressed Wei Ying's hair again. He had already confirmed that the boy liked it and he was determined to continue providing soothing physical contact until Wei Ying would get sick of him and push him away. There was a single strand of hair which was sticking out of the sea of the boy's inky black hair and coming out onto his temple. Lan Wangji gently pushed it behind his ear.

Wei Ying smiled at him even more. His eyes were now shining brightly, even more so than a moment before. He must have appreciated the care. Lan Wangji's own lips parted in a larger smile, mirroring the ease and happiness on Wei Ying's face.

As he was concentrating on the boy's eyes and mouth, he noticed that suddenly, Wei Ying's lips started moving. It was unlike the motions of breathing and he was intrigued at once. His focus shifted and he was now staring – a little impolitely maybe, not that he minded right at the moment – at those deep red crescents. They were no longer parted in a smile, they were moving. And forming words as it would seem.

Lan Wangji's heart started beating faster. It was clear that Wei Ying was still very much uncomfortable with or scared of the thought of directly speaking with him, but apparently, he felt like it was fine to still communicate with him. Lan Wangji was not sure he could bear such happiness as he was completely overwhelmed and had a great urge to hug the boy like before. He held himself back though, he did not want to destroy Wei Ying's efforts and courage. It looked like this way not easy for the boy either.

He focused even more, he did not want to miss anything that the boy wanted to tell him. He was not used to lip-reading so he could only pray it would be something pretty simple, something he would be able to understand and react to. He could not imagine saddening Wei Ying who was clearly trying his best by not being able to react to what he was about to say.

The lips moved as if in slow motion, giving Lan Wangji enough time to follow them all the way. And he understood perfectly.

"Thank you," Wei Ying articulated silently.

Such simple words, but they carried with them all the weight of what the boy wanted to communicate to him. He could have chosen anything, as long as it would be shown slowly, Lan Wangji would make sure to understand. He could have asked about what would happen to him now, or what his duties were, or what his place was in the Cloud Recesses Manor. Or even what Lan Wangji was doing staring at him this intently. But Wei Ying chose to thank him instead.

Lan Wangji was not fooled even for a second that the boy was thanking him for brushing away the strand of hair right now, and neither just for holding his hand earlier. No, the seriousness in Wei Ying's eyes was telling him that this simple 'thank you' held all the weight of the world, at least for the boy. He was surely expressing his gratitude for being taken in and finally, after so many years and so many masters, being treated like a proper human being.

Lan Wangji could not be sure if this gratitude was directed solely at him or at the Lan family as a whole. After all, he had personally done very little in providing Wei Ying with help. Without Lan Xichen standing by his side and warning him about the boy's injured hands, he would have never even noticed that Wei Ying was being mistreated even in the Cloud Recesses Manor.

Lan Wangji wanted to cry only thinking about this, he did not deserve any thanks. And certainly not for something he had so little contribution in. What about providing him with shelter and promising him safety? That was just natural, they could not leave him being tortured and enslaved when they knew about his circumstances. There was truly nothing that deserved the heartfelt 'thank you' which had just been given.

As he did not react, Wei Ying's eyebrows knitted together in a show of confusion and dissatisfaction and his lips started moving again. Apparently, he had not been sure if Lan Wangji understood and was about to repeat. This made Lan Wangji feel even worse; not only was he not deserving of any thanks, he was even making the boy ill at ease again with not responding to him.

He quickly extended his hand and put a finger across Wei Ying's lips, efficiently stopping him from speaking anymore. The confusion in the boy's eyes grew and Lan Wangji quickly added: "There is no need for a thank you. We have done what everyone should have."

He could definitely not let Wei Ying misunderstand that he was dismissing his words or that he was stopping him from speaking. On the contrary, he wanted to hear even more, just not the silent 'thank you' he had been given. It was simply too much.

After a while, he let go of Wei Ying's lips. They continued staring at each other, the boy's expression unreadable. Finally, Wei Ying's mouth moved again, articulating another heart-breaking word: "Sorry."

Lan Wangji's heart fell into a bottomless pit and he quickly stopped any other attempts, perhaps a little sterner than he had wanted: "No apologies either."

After his harsh words, he had been expecting the boy would pull back from him and hunch into himself as so many times before. He knew he had just made a mistake, but he could not help himself, he could not bear the boy apologizing for talking, albeit silently.

He should be the one to apologize now for snapping like this and surely scaring Wei Ying out of his mind and from ever trying to speak to him again. If he did not cry so much earlier and his tears were not all but gone, he would have mourned his mistake with salty waterfalls. Now, he could only lower his head in a silent apology and quickly think of words that could alleviate the tension of the situation.

Unexpectedly, it was Wei Ying who saved everything. He gently squeezed Lan Wangji's hand that he was still holding. This attracted Lan Wangji's attention and he looked down at him again. His mood immediately lightened when he saw the boy was shaking his head and smiling at him brightly. To make his reaction even clearer as it would seem, he nuzzled at Lan Wangji's hand with his cheek as well.

It was just too adorable for words. And for the first time since Wei Ying had come to the Cloud Recesses Manor, Lan Wangji had a feeling they had finally found their way to each other and were communicating properly, albeit without any words. He smiled in reply and his free hand went back to patting Wei Ying's hair. They understood each other at last.