Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 63

Lan Xichen had been waiting for Wei Wuxian's reaction but never in his life would he had imagined it to be this violent. He had thought that the boy would be shocked, of course, he had probably never heard such an offer, but after properly digesting his words he had believed the boy would be happy. It seemed like he had been mistaken, gravely so.

Now that he was looking at the silently and painfully sobbing Wei Wuxian in front of him, there were no traces of happiness to be seen anywhere. The boy only looked hurt and distressed. He was apparently beside himself with emotions that Lan Xichen could not quite identify. The only thing he knew was that they were not good ones at all.

He was quickly thinking about how he could help, how he could calm the boy down. Had it been his fault? Had he explained incorrectly and had he unknowingly triggered some terrible memories? Because he was sure that Wei Wuxian was not crying out of happiness or relief. No, for that, his current state looked too vulnerable, raw and terrified.

Lan Xichen had no idea what exactly had happened. Wei Wuxian had been just fine a second ago, listening to him with an open expression and hope in his eyes. However now, he was back to his broken and distressed self without any apparent reason. Though Lan Xichen was not inclined to believe that there was actually no reason, it was only that he could not quite understand it as the situation stood. And it was also not like he would be able to ask Wei Wuxian directly.

He wondered what in his words could have triggered such a negative reaction in the other. He had made sure to talk calmly and to reassure the boy that everything was fine. He had also never stopped smiling soothingly and tried to use a kind and non-threatening tone. But still, he had caused Wei Wuxian distress.

If it had not been his behaviour, it must have been his words. There must have been something he had said that had pushed Wei Wuxian over the edge of his self-control. But what could have scared and distressed him like this? Thinking back, Lan Xichen could not find anything wrong with any of his words. They had been meant to give hope and to free Wei Wuxian from his servant mind-set.

Their effect seemed to have been mostly opposite though, Lan Xichen had to state a second later as the boy lowered his head and continued his silent wailing. Although he could not see his face anymore, it was more than clear to Lan Xichen that the tears had not stopped and the pain was not gone. After such a brief moment of relief, Wei Wuxian was sadly back to his old self; and in a way, now it was even worse than ever before.

Since Lan Xichen could not find anything wrong with his words, he had to assume that the boy had just overthought something or misunderstood and actually scared himself. Unfortunately, it was not like Wei Wuxian would tell him himself – even if he asked which he would not do right now out of fear of causing even a greater distress – or that he would be able to guess. He was essentially blind and he did not like it in the slightest. There was no way he would be able to help when he did not know what he should be helping against.

He felt powerless as never before and he had no idea what to do nor what to say anymore. It would truly take a miracle now for Wei Wuxian to calm down.

Luckily, it seemed like Lan Xichen was in for a miracle just then. There was light knocking on the door and a quiet voice spoke from the outside: "Brother, you have sent for me. May I come in?"

Lan Xichen thought that perhaps Lan Wangji, for it was his brother and no one else, could hear the silent wailing of Wei Wuxian. Or perhaps feel it or just assume there was something wrong if Lan Xichen was calling him to his study like this. Whatever the reason was, his brother's voice was strained and urgent when he had requested entry.

Lan Xichen was only too happy to oblige. "Wangji, it is good that you are here," he called quietly in order not to distress Wei Wuxian more than he already was, "please, come on in."

Lan Wangji only just opened the door when his eyes were already taking in the study, frantically scanning the room for something. Lan Xichen could take a good guess as to what his brother was looking for.

And sure enough, as soon as Lan Wangji's eyes landed on the hunched over and shaking silhouette of Wei Wuxian, he immediately seemed to have forgotten that Lan Xichen was even in the room and rushed over. Where he would have usually greeted his brother properly, he had now only ignored him, his gaze fixated on the boy sitting across from Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji kneeled down by Wei Wuxian's side and looked at him intently for a second. Then, as if he had either done it hundred times in the past or was not afraid of possible consequences, he reached out and took Wei Wuxian's hands between his own. Lan Xichen saw how he started gently massaging them and quietly called for the boy: "Wei Ying?"

However, when Wei Wuxian did not react to the calling of his name, even when done several times over, Lan Wangji turned his head towards Lan Xichen, his eyes cold and concerned, and asked while lifting his eyebrows in a silent inquiry: "Brother?"

It was clear that Lan Wangji was now also in distress. Not that he actually acted that way, at least not visibly to a third party's naked eye, but to Lan Xichen, his every more spoke volumes. His brother was worried for the boy and demanded an explanation as to why Wei Wuxian was in such a state. And also perhaps why the boy was in Lan Xichen's study instead of resting in his own room.

For the second one, Lan Xichen could not provide a proper explanation, he only had his own assumptions and no clear evidence. For the first one though, Lan Xichen could tell him, at least the part that he was sure of. He could still not understand what exactly in his words had triggered Wei Wuxian's reaction, but he could definitely explain to Lan Wangji what he had been talking with the boy about. See if his brother would be able to calm Wei Wuxian down as so many times before.

Lan Xichen felt a little bad that he was relying on Lan Wangji so much and putting all the burden onto him. It could not be helped though, he knew, his brother was the one who had a better relationship with the boy and could be closer to him. He would definitely be able to do something as soon as he would be told what had happened.