Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 101

Jiang Yanli was sitting at her place at the table and could hardly eat anything at all. The atmosphere in the dining room was very tense and she could tell that her brother had once again regressed to a trembling and nervous mess. Which was understandable really. Even she was not too sure how to feel in this kind of situation when everyone was just glaring into their plates and no one said a single word. Wei Wuxian must have been terrified.

Jiang Yanli knew her brother well and she could tell what he was thinking at the moment. He was putting all the blame for the tense atmosphere on himself, certainly drowning in guilt for something he had not caused and cracking his brain open with trying to see what exactly he had done wrong. He was hunched into himself tightly, to the point when Jiang Yanli was afraid he would hurt himself. His hands were trembling so much it was a miracle he was able to even put food into his mouth and not miss it completely.

She knew that if she spoke and tried to ease the atmosphere, she could fail spectacularly. First, it was against the rules of the Cloud Recesses Manor to talk while eating. If she indeed did speak to reassure her brother that everything was fine and nothing was his fault, she could make Lan Qiren even more moody. From what she could see, the elder was in a truly bad mood and she did not want to shift his focus to Wei Wuxian at a time like this. It could only end badly.

The second reason why she kept her lips sealed for the moment was because she was not convinced she would be able to help her brother even if she spoke to him. She was not sure what was wrong herself so how could she reassure someone else so they would believe it? She had had a hard time telling him about the Lans' intentions just last evening, how could she repeat those same words with confidence when Lan Qiren was apparently, albeit unconsciously as she believed, trying his best to undermine all Wei Wuxian's fragile trust?

No, Jiang Yanli was terrified of the prospects of saying something which would push her brother even deeper into his apparent despair. Even though she knew he was once again overthinking everything and coming to wrong conclusions, she had no idea how to stop this behaviour. Even more so because Lan Wangji also looked like he was dissatisfied with the situation and Wei Wuxian had surely concluded it was because of something he had done. Why would the second young master of the Cloud Recesses Manor not try to dissolve the tension of the situation either?

Considering everything, Jiang Yanli still felt she could not just sit around and let everyone brood in their own thoughts which were all going in completely different directions. As she was methodically getting mouthfuls of food and chewing without even tasting anything, her mind was racing, coming up with ideas about how she could mediate the current situation. It was different than back in the Lotus Pier Manor; she was in a completely new environment here and she did not know the rules. This was truly hard, she sighed internally, she could not use the same methods now.

She did not even realize everyone finished their food and that it was alright now to speak. At least not until it was someone else who took the initiative.

"Wei Wuxian, please come with me to my office."

At first, she was just glad the tense silence had been broken. She truly disliked to be the first to speak, she had had too many negative experiences from the past. Fortunately for her and on the contrary to Wei Wuxian, she had never been physically hurt by her family as a punishment for speaking out of turn, she had only ever been scolded or confined to her room. Or sent away from the Lotus Pier Manor so she would not be able to see her brother for weeks or months at a time.

However, it was exactly this part which made her afraid the most. She knew Wei Wuxian needed her and she could not bear to be made to abandon him in the time of his need ever again. Of course, she was aware that the Lans would do nothing of the sort, even if she spoke up for her brother, they would not tell her to never see him again. Nevertheless, learned patterns of behaviour were hard to come out of and old fears hard to sooth.

It was at this time that Jiang Yanli should come out of her comfort zone, combat her fears and nervousness and open her mouth to reassure her brother. Or to step in the line of fire if Lan Qiren – for her mind only now caught up to reality and she realized it had been the master of the Cloud Recesses Manor who had spoken – was about to reprimand Wei Wuxian for anything. She could not let him ruin all the careful progress that Lan Wangji had achieved with her brother. If Wei Wuxian would be scolded now, Jiang Yanli was afraid he would regress fully, perhaps never to be willing to believe in their words again and having his trust completely broken. She could only hope the elder knew what he was doing.

It was only at this point that she finally understood the words which had been said. Her head shot up at once, first glancing at Lan Qiren who now looked like he wanted to say something important and was determined to do so, and then towards Wei Wuxian. She winced when she saw her brother jump on his chair and try to become even smaller than he had been previously. Which would look funny for someone of his size if the situation was anything but this dire.

This was not going to end well, not when her brother had clearly misunderstood Lan Qiren's intentions. For although the elder's words were pretty neutral and Jiang Yanli was sure he just wanted to tell Wei Wuxian the good news that he could study again, Lan Qiren's tone was stricter than the situation required. She feared her brother only heard the strictness in of his tone and not the words themselves. He must have not noticed how respectful and careful those words had been and had not seen how Lan Qiren's eyes became worried at once upon seeing his reaction.

Her whole attention was still on Wei Wuxian. She wanted to reassure him in some way, to tell him to not fear anything, convince him that Lan Qiren only wanted to tell him good news. But her voice got stuck in her throat, she was still too shaken from the sight of her brother openly panicking. She could not bring herself to say anything at all, wrong choice of words could push Wei Wuxian completely over the edge and into a full-fletched panic attack.